I sent an engagement announcement, STD and invite to all the people that we wanted to invite to the wedding. I have a larger family than FI and most of his family is in Italy. We knew they do not have the money to come so we did not send invitations to them, but his mom sent an invitation to the family just so they could see it. I did send STD and invitations to my extended family, but not all of them. There are some cousins on my mom's side (she passed away when I was 10 and I am her only child) that I have kept in contact with via email and Christmas cards, etc. that I wanted to invite, but there are a lot I have not spoken to in years and don't have addresses for. Those were the people that were not invited. I felt bad considering some of them are siblings to ones I did invite, but we had to draw the line somewhere. I didn't put an RSVP with the STD which looking back I wish I would have so I would have had an idea if any of the extended family were planning on coming. I never heard anything from any of them. I sent out our invites kind of early with a RSVP deadline of August 15 so that still gave me enough time to finalize plans with an accurate guest count. We are now receiving RSVPs from the extended family and so far none are coming. The same guest list will also be used for our shower that my aunt and cousin are throwing for us locally, and I have a feeling we will have more attending that. Now that I have rambled my advice to you is don't invite people you don't want there and don't worry about balancing the sides. I would recommend sending out STDs and Invitations to all, and something that may be helpful is putting an RSVp with the STDs even if it just a tentative one. We didn't, and we didn't hear anything from the extended guests until we sent out the invitations 2 weeks ago and have started to receive the reply cards.