Sam, I really think you are right on one thing... take a break, go to see your BFF and go to the Oprah show, afterwards have some quality girl time.
I really think that eloping could be the best idea that anyone has suggested.
If this man is the love of your life, and if you are sure that you want to be with him forever, it is between you and him. Not your families.
Let them throw you a reception afterwards, at their expense and trouble.
Have your DW. Even if it is just the two of you.