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How much do you give when you are a guest at a wedding?

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#1 yamille

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    Posted 02 January 2009 - 11:27 AM

    I have had several discussions with other friends about how much to gift at weddings. My family always gives money on the actual day. So that is what i have done my adult life. Registry gifts are usually something we do for bridal shower. The only exception I made was when I was MOH in a friends wedding I didn't give her $$ on her day. I got her bedding set and had it shipped to her (I had already spent so much on that wedding).

    So here is my question? Forget about destination weddings. When you go to a wedding how much do you gift if you are giving money? My parents say it's $100 pp. Others think it should be enough to cover your "plate" (not romantic at all). In my heart I always feel that I would rather give something meaningful and creative but I know in reality most newlyweds want money.

    I am going to my uncles wedding tonight and was discussing with FI what to give and we decided on $200. Being a bride to be has shifted my thinking a little and I'm just wondering what you ladies think since we are most likely in the same frame of mind. (wedding obsessed!)

    #2 happygilmore

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      Posted 02 January 2009 - 11:39 AM

      I do $50 gift for "general" friends and family. If you are near and dear to me I go beyond that..I would say for my friends wedding I was in I spent about $100-$150 on the present not including buying the dress, helping to host a Jack and Jill party as well as other little things!

      #3 tylersgirl

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        Posted 02 January 2009 - 11:53 AM

        I spend about $50 usually. If it is a close friend or family member I will spend $100 or a little more-because in that case I am hosting a shower, buying a dress, etc. and all of that can get costly!

        #4 Blkatz

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          Posted 02 January 2009 - 12:24 PM

          We usually give around $150-200-depending on who it is and the details. The last wedding we went to was a close friend and I gave $200
          I do agree that you should "cover your plate"

          #5 Ryan's girl

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            Posted 02 January 2009 - 02:21 PM

            We also typically give $150-200 depending on how close we are to the bride and groom. I think that giving money as a wedding gift has turned into "covering the cost of ones plate" for many people (although it is important to give enough to cover the cost!)...but really it's a gift for the bride and groom to begin their new life together.
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            #6 YoursTruly

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              Posted 02 January 2009 - 03:11 PM

              Generally it is 200 - 300 per couple and if a really good friend, more. But technically you are supposed to cover your plate.

              #7 beachbride08

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                Posted 02 January 2009 - 03:37 PM

                A few years ago I gave $75-100, but now that I have had close friends get married and have gone through with my own wedding I realized how much weddings actually cost. I was always told you pay at least enough to cover your plate and back in the day that was about $30 (depending on the location). Now it is easily $80-100 pp so I usually give $200. If I am invited to the wedding, but don't attend I usually send $100 since they aren't paying for me to be there.

                #8 KatyKo

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                  Posted 02 January 2009 - 03:51 PM

                  This is a great thread. We are one of the first couples out of our close friends to get married, so I have not had many weddings to attend yet. The last time I went to a wedding I was still in college and broke, but I think I managed to give around $40-50 as a gift on top of the shower gift. It is good to know what range is appropriate. I think cash is always such a wonderful gift...I know that is what we need the most :)

                  #9 pearlygirl

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                    Posted 02 January 2009 - 04:19 PM

                    Hmmmm, I think I'll invite you all to my wedding because you are so generous :)

                    I usually give $50, unless it is a close friend or family, it is usually $100 (we're usually involved in the party planning and buying dresses etc).

                    If I had more to give, and I wish I did, I'd definately give more.

                    #10 JoLo908

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                      Posted 02 January 2009 - 04:20 PM

                      I think it depends on where you live... not to sound like one place is above the other, it's totally not... I am from an affluent town in NJ where people go way overboard on weddings... in NYC they usually do the same... it is expected to cover your plate typically, and as a couple we usually give $200 to $250 for a gift... Now, in a lot of cases, when you ask the couple after the wedding (close friends), they say their gifts were all over the charts... some a lot, some not, some didnt give at all!!! When I go to weddings for my friends from college (MD, PA, WV), everyone gives a smaller gift typically like $50 or something from the registry... but Jersey and New York, this whole tri-state area tend to do things over the top... SO bottom line... you give what you can!!! And if the person is your friend, they should understand that... PS my girls from college say that we in NJ are CRAZY with the amount spent on weddings and wedding gifts... I AGREE!!! lol

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