30 replies to this topic

[AmandaR]

After talking to my mom the other day about how my little brother and his girlfriend are practically joined at the hip, it got me thinking - are those of us who aren't conjoined missing out? My brother and his girlfriend have been dating since HS and now go to the same college. Even when they come home they can't bear to spend more than a couple hours apart.

As another example, I worked with a woman at my previous job who literally talked to her husband on the phone 3-5 PER DAY, and not while on a break. I can understand calling to check in if something's going on, but I seriously doubt that's the case every day. I finally had the balls to say something to my supervisor and a No Cell Phone Policy was drafted.

DH and I are obivously very close and do a lot together, but we also don't have to be "together" every waking moment to feel secure. We avoid calling each other at work unless it's an emergency, or something happened that we can't wait to tell until we get home. I love DH dearly, but sometimes we just need a couple of hours apart to do things for ourselves. For me it's window shopping at the mall or meeting my mom for lunch. Sometimes he just likes to mess around on the computer for a couple hours while I'm not there adding to his honey-do list

[foxytv]

DH and are are very independent, sometimes too much so. He travels a lot for work, and I work some crazy hours ... so we really don't see each other a lot. We do a lot of things together though, we love to take trips together and just go out with friends together. But we do a lot of things on our own too, and neither of us mind. We talk on the phone probably 2-3 times during the workday just to see how each other's day is going and when we will each be home. DH was in Iraq for 14 months, so we are each used to being apart and being very independent. We just have to make sure that we make time for "us" privately as well.

[Kat81]

FI and I are apart a lot because of his job. We do text back and forth all day. When he is home we do almost everything together. Not for security, but because he is gone two of the four weeks of the month. When he is home though, I go for lunch with my sister at times or he will go ride dirt bikes or something. I think it is healthy to have a balance. I know a lot of people that travel all over the world without their SO. I am not that extreme, I enjoy his company and love to travel with him. He is my Best Friend, what can I say?

[Mrs D To Be!]

H2B and I spend alot of time together...but we aren't joined at the hip! He is currently in Nice on business, and has been since monday....we haven't spoke since he left, a few texts, but thats it. sometimes a bit of time away from each other is good for a relationship IMO.

In a normal week, he does work long hours, and i work fulltime as well as studying 2 nights a week...so we don't get to spend a whole lot of time together.

We only phone each other during working hours if its an emergency too.

[Hartyt509]

FI is in the army so we are NEVER together for more than a week and that is unusual lol the wedding is going to kill us as he's off all month lol

I love it but thats because i'm so independent the only time it narks me is when he comes home and can't be bothered to do anything with the dogs! its like hello i have to lol

One of my best mates is the forces 2 and he says he's spent 5 months max in one stretch with his wife in all the years they've been married - god help him when he retires lol

I've had the full on together 24/7 and its not me it makes me feel suffocated

[Angel]

Me and my FI are really close. We basically work the same hours so we get ready together and he gets home about an hour or so before me but when we are home we are pretty much always together unless one of us are exercising or cooking. If he could talk to me all day long he would. He does call me at work when he's riding home but I'm usually on my way out as well so we talk a lot when we are both at home. Other than that we spend all of our time together and talk about everything. And because I have kids we do a lot together.

[Birdie07]

We met online and spent 5 years apart. We used webcams and texting and IMing. So now that we are finally together we don't take it for granted. Business is slow for him right now so we text alot while hes at work. Like "whats for dinner?" We live next door to his parents so we do stuff with them too. We like to hang out together. And we finally CAN! He also does stuff apart but we really love being with each other. And it took us a long time to get there.

[Chantal85]

I too met my man online and did the long distance relationship thing. Once I moved in with him, we were pretty attached at the hip because we wanted to take full advantage of every moment we had.

Now that we're a little more settled in, we are a lot more independent. We only call each other at work every once in a while though. Mostly if there's something going on that we need an opinion.

We still spend most of our time with each other but that's just because we're pretty much each other's best friend/only friend in town.

Recently he's taken a few contract jobs working 20 hrs away (for three weeks at a time) in another province and its reminding me how lucky I was to have him home every night for so long.

Every couple is different, if you and your man are happy with the time you have together, then don't worry about it. What works for one couple doesn't necessarily work for the next.

[Infinity22]

I don't see anything wrong with your brother's situation with his fiance, nor do I see a problem with your situation. Everyone's relationship is different because it involves two different people with two different personalities that react differently! Some people require a lot of attention while at the same time, their fiance or spouse enjoys giving it to them. It just sounds like you and your partner are more independent than your brother and his partner and there's nothing wrong with that! My wife and I go through cycles where we talk a lot during the day and then some days we don't. It's taken us awhile to figure everything out but we're both on the same page. This is just another great example of why you can't judge other people's relationships because what works for them may not work for you and likewise.

[*Heather*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Infinity22 I don't see anything wrong with your brothers situation with his fiance, nor do I see a problem with your situation. Everyone's relationship is different because it involves two different people with two different personalities that react differently. So people require a lot of attention while at the same time, their fiance or spouse enjoys giving it. It just sounds like you and your partner are more independent then your brother's relationship and there's nothing wrong with that! My wife and I go through cycles where we talk a lot during the day and then some days we don't. It's taken us awhile to figure out everything but we're both on the same page. This is just another great example of why you can't judge other people's relationships because what works for them may not work for you and likewise.

Wow, well said! I couldn't agree more! I think it's a balance that each couple sorts through on their own, and figures out what works for them...