I am sorry to hear what you are going through! Until the financial situation is squared – away, I think it’s very smart and responsible to hold off on the wedding. When the circumstances are better, you will truly look forward to the big day. As for the planner, give her some more time as she may have to discuss and make an exception in your case. It’s probably not just up to her as she has to follow company guidelines. If she can’t make an exception for you, perhaps she can retain the funds for a future vacation or traveling plans that may arise in the future. Let her know if anything changes, you will use her services in the future. Hang in there….