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About Lanajoy

  1. Thank you all so much for your advice! It really helps to keep things clear for me. I am a black and white, no shade of gray kind of girl, very technical and sometimes it can be very bad. My FI is really trying harder by working five days a week at the hotel starting this week and has also been looking for something he might enjoy more. Maybe freaking out was exactly what needed to happen to get him motivated. We have very open communication and very rarely fight, like four times in nine years. I pray to be humble and accept less than what I have had in the past. The idea that money makes one comfortable is true but it is hard to find the fine line between comfortable and snooty:) I worked hard to get where I am but I fear money may have changed me and this is my wake up call. I am grateful for the chance to realize it. All things aside, I know that our love will be just the same, for richer or poorer, thump thump. I still haven't heard back from the planner but I have been given some great ideas from all of you to help with our situation. I did not want to broadcast our tragedies but I knew some other brides would help me keep my chin up and keep moving forward. Thank you a million times over for the input. It gave me some much needed direction that my cloudy medicine head couldn't find. I will keep you posted when good things happen:)
  2. I am sorry to ever bring sad news to the forums but I thought a little advice and support from others might help. I will get right to the point... I just called off our wedding! I will do my best to explain my situation. I work as a nurse in a world renown neuroscience hospital and as a cake designer, which there is a little irony later. I love my job but not long ago was injured pretty seriously by one of my patients. I suffered a very traumatic neck strain with some compression and have not been working since. I have been diagnosed with a rare neurological disorder caused from the physical trauma to my neck called cervical dystonia. It is extremely painful and debilitating to say the least. One day I tried on five wedding dresses and that is all I could do for the entire day and I was in pain for three days after! So onto the engagement... We have been together for nine years, I am 30. He is the love of my life and takes very good care of me. I cannot imagine my life without him. Anyone who can love a person through nursing or medical school is a saint! He asked me to be his wife one night after I came home exhausted from working 14 hours at the hospital, scrubs on and fast food tacos in hand. Not so romantic but the biggest surprise ever and that is what he wanted. We celebrated by playing video games and reading a good book, lol. I have been addicted to planning our destination dream wedding ever since and to be honest I am frugal but money has not influenced our choices what so ever. He really let me make the bulk of decisions and slowly but surely indicated how he is just as excited as I am. We started telling everyone, put down deposits with our planner and sites. I have bought endless amounts of things for the wedding such as favors, stds, and invites. So I have been out of work since only weeks after getting engaged but nearly six months. The insurance company is fighting my case and not paying me in the meantime but my lawyer is sure I will win the case. My fiance works in freelance videography and holds a part time hotel management position. He is not wealthy in any means other than with love. We are now struggling financially because of my health and my inability to work may not ever change. I may react well to treatments but I may also be permanently disabled. He brought up borrowing money from his family and this was my breaking point. I know to ask when I absolutely need to but I loathe the concept. Ideally I want him to search out a career where he can make a decent living and continue his videography otherwise. I would do anything to return to work now and I mean anything! With all this said when we normally sit and discuss our bills I sat down and said I thought we needed to change our wedding plans. He responded asking sooner or later and I told him that we will not get married at all. I explained that his motivations and goals were important to me. I expressed to him my beliefs that being individual and loving oneself is a necessary step prior to being a great couple. We discussed finances, ate lunch, and went on with our day like nothing happened. Our wedding planner has been very helpful to us but so far has only discussed our wishes in detail and possibly reserved our sites ( we have not seen a site contract) She was e-mailing everyday prior to my injury. Through my tears I e-mailed to notify her of my serious health condition and our unfortunate decision to cancel our wedding. She did send us a vague contract via e-mail. The contract was not signed by any of us or updated but we did deposit one thousand dollars to hold our dates with her and the reception site. I asked her to respond and let us know if any portion may be refundable. Our wedding is not until June 2012 and we did not make any final decisions other than the site of the reception site. Here is where I need advice. I am in a very serious situation financially and have been taking from my retirement funds to avoid eviction from our artist studio and home. If this weren't the case I would likely apologize for not following through with the proposed contract and hope I hadn't burned bridges but any refund could help. The wedding planner always responded to e-mails within the day and often called. I e-mailed her but I do not have international calling to phone her. She has not responded for almost five days now and I wonder what I should do next. I want to be fair and kind as she has been to us. I am so heart broken and high on pain meds I have lost track of what is reasonable to do here and only other brides to be could understand the mess I made. If you made it this far in my short book, thank you and please let me know what you might suggest.
  3. Congrats!!! We are New Yorkers (Buffalo) getting married in the Bahamas as well. June 2, 2012.
  4. I have been communicating with www.bigdaydress.com. I have not ordered anything yet but they have been very responsive to every request the same day, unlike many of the others. They are costly versus the other replicas but they seem more reliable. My first response from them came with the type of materials they will use, time frame, and price. They will send photos of dresses they have made like the one you want. I have some alencon lace dress photos that they made if anyone is interested. I can e-mail them, just send me your address. They will send photos prior to shipping for confirmation of dress and if you order swatches they will refund the cost if you buy your dress from them. They also designed a page just for me to purchase the custom dress because it was not a design they already sell. The rep was honest enough to tell me she couldn't view photos on the original company website very well and she asked me if I could send closer images of the bodice to ensure I will be happy with the results. I think the honesty is a great sign they may be trustworthy. With all that said I still haven't chose the dress I want to wear and have not ordered from anyone. My other experiences with these sellers: DHgate- Babyonline- responded to my e-mails everyday but while chatting with them the person stopped responding when I asked if I could purchase swatches. I e-mailed requesting to buy swatches with no response for about a week. Then after the second e-mail asking for swatches or photos they responded that they were not able to send photos of the fabric stating they cannot photograph in the markets. They appear too busy to make the dress I am looking for:) Gianinar- I e-mailed for a specific quote on a custom dress and I was sent a response with a change of e-mail address. I wrote the changed e-mail address and got a quote, the highest quote I received altogether, just about 500 when the others are in the 200 range. The next e-mail I sent was responded to about two weeks later with an apology and with another change of e-mail address.Too shady for this lady Dousheng- I e-mailed this company and received a response like two weeks later. The website is not posted in English and I cannot call the phone number listed to verify. Not reliable enough for my wedding dress purchase. Peridress- I haven't seen one review for this company anywhere on line that didn't look fake. Even the reviews on the website are written by people who cannot write using proper English? The reviews on the Peridress website are either extremely great or really terrible with warnings to not buy there! Not worth the time to even keep looking at the site. So I did read all 366 pages of the other forum, I obviously don't work,lol. I haven't ordered but I will update if I do. I am hesitant because of all the dresses I tried on in the shops I actually liked a DB dress that is only $299! Surprising considering the one I like on line is french alencon lace, duchess silk and close to 5,000 before being completely reconstructed because I am five feet tall. Anyhow, I hope this info can be of some help to others that can't afford ten hours of on line research. I will update if I order a dress.
  5. Love it so much I think I might steal it! Thanks again for playing my supporting role, you deserve to be my MOH
  6. Thank you so much. I knew once the majors- sites and officiant were chosen I would be normal again I couldn't have done the planning on my own and you helped a lot. Keep me updated on your progress and plans.
  7. That will be beautiful and October will be a great time to visit. The BDW community has been great to come to with concerns such as the effects of Irene on our Bahamian friends and vendors. keep us updated on your plans:)
  8. First of all I am so sorry to hear this is happening to you. The whole situation is very unfortunate for everyone involved. Our planner told me that there was very little damage done in that area so I never thought it would close a whole resort. Can you and your guests just recieve a full refund right away? I wouldn't want to be married in Jamaica either! This is just a suggestion based on research I have done but I wondered if you have considered accomadations such as the Sheridan. The group rates were like 150 per night for our dates in early June 2012. They also offered a meal plan to make it more like all inclusive. The wedding planner was in touch with me right away and answered all my questions kindly. I cannot recall her name but she was very detail oriented and that is just the thing to make this all come together smoothly. I realize this is not the wedding you chose but its just a consideration that may maintain your Bahamas wedding, the date you chose and can accomadate to all the fine details you would like with such a short timeframe. Take a deep breath, say a lil prayer if you do that, chin up and your BDW friends will all do the best to help you any way we can:) ps and no I don't work for Sheridan;)
  9. Ok BDW ladies, I am fashion illiterate and need some advice (picture a sundress with jeans and red crocs,lol.) I am glad I listened to everyone saying to go out and try on all sorts of dresses. I tried on about 25 dresses this past week and now I know I look best in white and form fitting. I was surprised to be flattered in fit and flare, trumpet styles because I am not thin but I am very short. The other styles seemed to wear me. So here are the dresses I like and opinions would be extremely helpful. Alfred angelo 1614 retired I have envisioned myself on the beach getting married in Alfred Angelo 1614 for a few years now. I like the soft flowing look and the train. I adore the buttons down the back. I would have this made in white with white overlay and a black belt or sash. Modern Trousseau Autumn Then I found this dress and have been obsessing over it. It is fit and flare with latte dutch satin with Ivory alencon lace sewn on. I LOVE the lace and the sewn on style, the few buttons in the back, and the vintage feel it has. The dress second hand would cost about 2,300.00 plus major alterations. To have it made I have been quoted around 420 but it is not a simple style to make. I would have it made in white on white with black or gray sash. Davids Bridal operation Dream Dress H3281 and last but not least I really liked a dress on Brides July 2011 magazine cover. Many of my friends saw it and told me it would look great but the dress turned out to be one of a kind. Out of all the 20 gazillion dresses I tried, I only really liked 1. I keep thinking about that dress and plan to go back and try it on again in my size. When I looked up the dress online it is designed after the Brides magazine cover that I liked! The dress only comes in ivory, I look better in white, but it only costs 299 with very little alterations or I can have it made in white online. I am sorry to not show pics but I am very tired and do not know how. If you have the time please share your opinion with me.
  10. Hello: Just wondering if all of you ladies would mind telling me where to find some of these sellers. I spoke with a few already, Bigday dress, babyonline from DHgate, and what I believe was called Daushong (it's written in chinese.) I am trying to find the sellers mentioned in our posts with the names: Jasmine Monica Gianinar- I think this is e-bay THANK YOU in advance
  11. I fell in love with this Modern Trousseau Autumn dress. I am wondering if anyone has experience purchasing lace dresses from the online stores?
  12. I am looking for someone who knows the details behind bringing your own photographer with you to the Bahamas. We have a close friend who is a photographer that we would like to ask to shoot our big day but would like to explore the requirements and extra costs before approaching the topic. From what I understand we will have to apply for a temporary work permit for him. Any information would be appreciated.
  13. Share with us your dates and plans for your Bahamas wedding We will be married at Sunrise Beach at Sunset on June 2, 2011 and our reception will be at Beach Club Cafe. Our guests will be staying at Atlantis for the week. We are so excited!
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