lolkitteh

Quote: Originally Posted by evie I am sick!! No gym for two days... If it makes you feel better, I threw out my back last weekend and can barely move, let alone work out :-( Perhaps this is a cautionary note to you ladies - please don't overtrain!

Here are the pics I'm planning to show my hairstylist during my trial:

I used to live in HI for a bit, and I totally understand about the non-availability of bakers there. That said, I'm surprised that the 4S hasn't been able to provide a good one. This post is really just a cautionary side note - have you asked the 4S about any possible fees for bringing in an outside cake? My venue at the Wynn quoted me an cake "cutting" fee of $9 per slice for an outside cake. Needless to say, we are thus pursuing alternative options.

Quote: Originally Posted by wededbliss2010 Lolkitteh: Thanks, this is great information to know. How is the planning coming along? Zee Hi Zee! Glad this is helpful! I think my planning is mostly done. Invitations will go out shortly, and after that, well, it's all downhill from there, with any luck. Now I just need to lose some weight! Heheh. Hows it going for you?

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I hope that she is doing well now! It seems like a very tough situation, particularly in these hard economic times that affect everyone. This is a rather sticky situation, from an etiquette standpoint, since there is really no polite way to invite someone to a wedding celebration event and ask them to pay for themselves, nor is there any polite way to request no gifts on an invitation. When you take on the the responsibility of "hosting" a wedding, it means from an etiquette standpoint, among other things, that you bear the costs of entertaining and feeding your guests. I understand your intent and sitatuation, but I think you risk the possibility of offending someone by asking them to pay their own way. I'm sure you don't mean it this way, but the perception of some people might be that you could afford to pay for a lavish 7-day cruise for yourselves, but now you are asking guests to fund and pay for your wedding. Rather than hold a dinner at a place where you cannot afford to fully host your guests, perhaps you can consider a party that is more affordable that you *can* fully host. A BBQ at home, a simple reception with cake and punch, a lunch instead of dinner, a less expensive venue, or simply having a smaller guest list. I think having a less elaborate wedding celebration would be preferable to asking guests to pay for themselves.

We are not paying for our bridal party, although if it became a huge financial burden to them, I would make the offer. I would just be up front about the costs to make sure they understand that accepting the invitation to be part of the bridal party means accepting the costs involved. I am, however, paying for the attire, hair, makeup, manicures, etc., in other words, covering all the other costs associated with being part of the party, so in essence, being part of my party is not costing them any more than being a guest. As for inviting people to showers, are you having an AHR? From an etiquette standpoint, it is not proper to invite someone to a shower who is not also invited to a wedding or the AHR. The polite assumption for a wedding or AHR is that no gifts are expected. However, a shower by its nature carries an implied gift responsibility - the whole point of them is to "shower" the honoree with gifts. For this reason, it is considered impolite to invite someone only to the shower and not the wedding because the implication is that you only want to extract a gift from them, rather than have them as a guest who celebrates your wedding with you. I'm sure that's not your intent, but this is the logic for this etiquette rule.

Bumping this thread in the hopes of seeing pictures of everyone's thank-you cards!

Quote: Originally Posted by Sloan SCRIMP: Pretty much everything. The entire reason for getting married in JA was to NOT spend a stupid amount of money. Were not doing anything over and above. No centrepieces, no extra decorations, no "reception" -- just dinner at the a la carte. No TTD. No shoes. No programs, no welcome letters, no OOT bags, no favours. No Canadian photog - only the resorts photog. Just Jamaica and just the free ceremony. Yup, avoiding a ridiculous at-home wedding was a good reason for me, too!

Thanks for the post, Mel&B! I think that what I will end up doing is just using this DVD as an "add-in" to my normal routine to give my body the shock that it needs to get off my plateau. I figure that even at the minimum, I should be able to work off an extra 200 calories, and that by itself will help, if I can find the time to work this in on top of my regular routine. In any case, I am looking forward to giving this a try!

drTracy - Many thanks for your post. Exactly the kind of response I was hoping for. I struggle with plateaus and set-points (my biggest problems!) so I hope adding this to my rotation will help break me out of it. Will try to keep you all posted on my results and progress!

OK, I've been following the more recent posts on this thread for a while, and one thing I have yet to see is anyone really reporting tangible results, either in the form of actual weight loss or inches. I just put in an order to Amazon to get it, but I am still pretty skeptical as to whether it will work for me or not. The main reason is that it is only 27 minutes long, including warmup, cooldown and stretch. So at the very most, doing it once will only burn 200 calories, so I am guessing that I am going to have to do another workout to actually lose any weight/fat. Since you have to create a 3600 calorie deficit to lose one pound, that means that if you only do this workout and eat a maintenence diet, you will only lose one pound per 18 days, even if you do it every day. To me, that's hardly a "30-day Shred". I have to also say that I already workout 5-6 times a week for at least 40 minutes per session, and do a combo of weight lifting, aerobics, and running. Will this DVD actually do anything for someone who is already reasonably accustomed to working out? - it seems that the best results will go to people who don't already exercise regularly.

Finally getting around to posting my dress. It's pretty simple, but I love the way real silk looks.

Quote: Originally Posted by Erika J I am wearing a veil that is being passed on to me. I had four best buddies from college and we all lived together, So B wore it in her Tahoe wedding, R wore it at her reception, and I will take it to Cabo. Then we will keep it for the fourth girl when she is ready, and if she choses to wear it. Very cool - kind of like "Sisterhood of the Traveling Wedding Veil"!

Interesting thread. My 2.5 cents on this is that while the HC have every right to dictate who attends the wedding and wedding-related events, it is absolutely NOT fair to guests to dictate who travels with them to the wedding. I do also think that for a DW, some concessions should be considered. In the particular case of a DW, guests have cleared several days off of their schedule, taken off time from work, and paid a lot of money to honor the HC on their Big Day. In return, it is the responsibility of those hosting the wedding to be good hosts and ensure that their guests are comfortable. Arguably, that also means perhaps even conceding to a random "and guest" (as opposed to a specific "and guest") where you wouldn't normally, had it been a wedding at home. It's not fun and definitely more expensive to travel alone, and having someone to hang out with both at the destination and the wedding (especially if everyone else is "coupled") would go a long way in having an invited guest feel comfortable and welcome. I have a couple of single guests whom I am allowing a random "and guest". The first guest just broke up with his girlfriend, whom I was going to invite by name as his "and guest". The second one, the MoH for my FH, may or may not be with her BF by the time the wedding rolls around, so we've told her she can bring whatever SO she is with at the time. She is also traveling with other friends who are not invited to the wedding, and I'm cool with that - as I said, I don't think it's fair to dictate who people want to vacation with, and her friends understand that they aren't invited to the wedding events.

Wondering what other brides are doing with their veil after the Big Day. Are you getting it preserved along with the gown and keeping it? Selling it? Throwing it out? Donating to charity? Doing something crafty with it? I'm not particularly attached to my veil, so it would be neat to get some ideas on creative things to do with it. I've seen little shadow box frames where brides have inserted their veil and bouquet flowers and used it as decoration, but I dont know if I want to do that.

This question may end up falling into the category of, "If you have to ask, you can't afford it" - hehehe, but I'm asking anyway. Anyone out there know what the salon prices are for a haircut and highlights at Christophe in the MGM? No pricing info is available on the website that I can find.

The Wynn Primrose Court can seat 100 for an outdoor ceremony, and my understanding is that it is one of the most beautiful outdoor venues on the strip. Perhaps a bit pricey, but worth loooking into.

Thanks! We have actually now booked at one of the Wynn restaurants. I hear you on the restrictions, but at this point, it's nothing we can't deal with. Will provide the full report when its over!

Hmmm... You haven't specified what city in the world your wedding will be, but you might find this link helpful to determine sunrise/sunset timings based on your dates and location city. Sunrise and Sunset Calculator

I am not changing my name initially due to professional and personal reasons that I won't get into here. However, I probably will change it somewhere along the line, but that will be quite a few years from now. My reason for the eventual change is to make things easier and for convenience sake (not having to provide additional documentation for stuff, etc., addresses, etc. and all the other problems you run into when spouses dont share the same name), and to be honest, because I think the FH would be secretly tickled if I did. My FH did not expect me to change my name at all (because of the independant type of person I am), and was surprised when I told him I would change it a few years down the road when our situation changed. I've sort of mellowed out over the years about the issue - several years back I would not have considered changing my name at all, but now see it as a personal choice that does not have to be colored by either feminist or traditional agendas. I have not run into any issues or flack about changing my name or not; probably because most people simply assumed that I wouldn't! I think I would cause more surprise saying I intend to eventually change my name than telling people that I'm not! I guess it's all about situational context. heh.

Odd that your WC didn't think appetizers were necessary at a cocktail hour - maybe it's a language thing? Anyway, I can't imagine not having some kind of food at a cocktail hour - I think it's pretty much implied and expected, and the first thing guests make a beeline for after the ceremony! Heheh. Anyway, I am having an hour of 6 passed canapes. Wild Mushroom Risotto Balls Parmesan Goat Cheese Basket Gougère with Fontina and Speck Ham Smoked Salmon Mille-Feuille Croquette of Short Rib with Orange Confit Jumbo Lump Crab in Cucumber Cup

This is an interesting thread, because it is such a good example of the contrast between tradition and etiquette. From an etiquette standpoint, I would bet very good money that you would not be able to find any Emily Post types who would agree that having a "Dollar Dance" is polite. At the end of the day, guests are being asked to participate in a transaction where they are paying their hosts for a few seconds of social interaction/hospitality. If you have a situation where money changes hands from a guest to a host, regardless of cultural/traditional justifications/rationalizations, one can hardly say that it's correct etiquette. For this reason, the Dollar Dance will always continue to create controversy, even within circles where it is mostly accepted for cultural reasons (as seen in this very thread). However, that's not to say that upholding tradition isn't also important. It really depends on what takes precedence for the hosts and guests involved - tradition or etiquette. There are certainly many cultural justifications and considerations that come into play. Ultimately, one has to weigh the importance of tradition vs. etiquette, and figure out which violation would cause the more serious offense.

Whoah - I'm going to clarify what I said in a previous post. While from an etiquette standpoint, you should only invite people to a shower who have been invited to the wedding, it is NOT necessarily correct from an etiquette standpoint to invite everyone who has been invited to the wedding to a shower or shower-like event. The reason is this. When attending a wedding or AHR, the polite assumption is that gifts are always optional, even though by tradition they are given, and as a practical matter, mostly assumed. However, a shower, by its nature carries an implied gift responsibility - the whole point of them is to "shower" the honoree with gifts. This is also why it is poor etiquette for the bride herself or the immediate family to throw showers, since it could be seen as a gift grab. This is also why many view someone who accepts multiple showers as a gift grab. Since it is a party with automatically implied gift responsibility, showers are supposed to be small affairs where only the close friends and relatives are invited (the obvious exception to this is the "office shower"). In the case of multiple showers, it is polite to ensure that they involve different groups of people, so that the same people are not constantly buying you gifts, which creates a burden on those individuals.

In the case of someone in the wedding party, I think it's a nice gesture to pay for the passes for both rehearsal dinner and wedding. People in your wedding party probably did a lot for you. Depending the on the situation, they probably threw showers, bachelor/bacherlorette parties, paid for dresses, shoes, and jewelry, are taking care of wedding-related details, helped shop for their own and your dresses, made favors, addressed invitations, etc., etc. Further, unlike a regular guest, a bridesmaid is obligated to attend both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding ceremony, and are probably helping out with both - so having to be there for both is not optional. However, paying the day pass for one bridesmaid and not the other attendants may seem unfair to the rest of the party - so it's really situational. Nevertheless, I'd weigh on the side of offering to pay for both passes, unless you really think it won't be a big deal to her if you don't. In the case of a sold-out resort, I also think it a nice gesture to pay for the passes, unless the reason they couldn't get into the resort was because they missed the booking deadline, AND it was well-known upfront that there would be a fee for the pass if they did not stay on the resort. In this case, the 2 guests really couldn't help but stay offsite and probably did want to stay at the resort. Having to now pay to attend the wedding wasn't really their fault or choice, and would add insult to injury.

If they have received an invitation to the wedding, I see no reason not to also invite them to the shower, even if they choose not to come. I would not put someone on the shower guest list who did not/will not also receive an invitation to the wedding. You will *always* run the risk of appearing to be a gift-grabber when that happens. If you plan to have an AHR, I think that you can also invite someone who is invited the the AHR but not necessarily the DW. However, you might want to wait until you send your AHR invites or STDs before you invite anyone to the shower - that way, it doesn't create an awkward moment for someone who receives a shower invite but not a wedding invite. In summary, I believe the proper etiquette is to only invite people to your shower who have also been invited to the wedding and/or AHR. The only exception to this is perhaps an "office shower" type situation.