lolkitteh

I think most people that are asked to be bridesmaids understand that if you accept the invitation to be part of the wedding party, that they will incur and absorb the expense of it. That is, paying for the dress, shoes, attending the wedding, getting yourself made-up, etc. I don't think that should change for a DW. Yes, being a BM in a DW is arguably more expensive than being a BM at a traditional wedding, but IMHO, accepting the offer of being a BM in a DW means understanding that there will be those additional costs involved. I have certainly been involved in weddings where I paid for all of these things, and never expected to be reimbursed for them. Thus, while I think it is a nice gesture to offer to pay for makeup/hair, etc, I don't think it's necessary. I have personally offered to pay for my MoH dress, and will pay for all attendants' hair/makeup, just because I don't personally want them to have that expense, but again, I don't think a BM should expect it, nor do I think the gesture is 100% necessary. The only situation where I would think you should pick up the cost of makeup and/or hair is if you specified a particular makeup or hairstyle look that would be difficult for your attendants to replicate on their own. (As in, they would *have* to get a pro to do it to get it to look decent). If that is the case, then it would be, IMHO, a necessary courtesy to pick up the tab for it. If you aren't dictating any particular style, and they can choose how they will look on your wedding day then there is really no need to offer to pick up the tab for their makeup and hair.

Hi Kits55 - Haven't posted the dress yet, but I'll have to dig up a picture from somewhere and post it on the dress thread. Will try to do that this week! It's actually a pretty simple gown - just crystals and embroidery on the train and edges - the thing that sold me on it was the luxuriousness of the silk fabric. I really do wish I could have saved money on the dress. Especially with the economy being the way that it is, I feel kind of guilty spending so much on something that is arguably rather frivolous, rather than putting the money to "better" use.

I'm a little confused because showers or jack & Jill parties are something that someone else other than your immediate family (like your bridal party) throws for you on your behalf - are you asking whether you should throw one for yourself? If so, I'd say no, I don't think that it is ever appropriate to throw your own shower or Jack & Jill party. If someone throws one for you, I think it is perfectly fine to have them invite people who aren't also invited to the wedding. This happens all the time. As for throwing an AHR, I think it is better to go with no bar or a limited bar (IE, beer, wine and soft drinks only, and maybe champagne for the toast) than to have a cash bar. IMHO, your guests should never have to open their wallets when attending a party you host.

Maybe one compromise instead of a registry would be to let your wedding party and close family that what you really need is cash for the house. So if someone asks what you could use for the wedding, they can just politely say, "Well, they are hoping to buy a house next year, so I think what they really need is a little help toward the down payment" or something similar. Like registry information, the best way to handle this, IMO, is through word-of-mouth. At the end of the day, a mortgage registry (and perhaps even a honeymoon or giftcard registry) is just a thinly-veiled way to ask for money in lieu of gifts, and you will always run the risk of someone thinking that such a thing is tacky or offensive. It depends on your personal situation, but IMO, there is no polite way to ask for money.

My ring is a 5-stone, but I had a similar problem finding a band that looked "right" with it. Like the other ladies here, I settled on a 5-stone diamond band recommended by our jeweler that is similar to this: Five-Stone Diamond Ring in Platinum (1/2 ct. tw.) I had originally wanted a plain metal band, but none I tried really looked right with the e-ring - I needed the stones in the wedding band for the combo to look right (flush with the stones in the e-ring), and it seems that everyone else in this thread came to the same conclusion. Our jeweler also did recommend fusing the two bands as an option, but I want to keep the e-ring and band seperate. I am guessing that if you choose to fuse the rings, you'd have more options.

I had originally wanted to spend about $500-1000 on my dress, max. I just didn't think it was all that important. I had intended to buy just a simple dress (like an off-white bridesmaids dress). Then I went shopping and discovered that I couldn't find anything I liked in that range. To make matters worse, an evil saleslady at a bridal salon brought out a $3000 silk number from a small, unique designer that was much more elaborate than I envisioned, and I fell in love with it. Unfortunately, it became *THE Dress*. Luckily, I was able to find it at discount for $1800, so I bought it. I still have to pay for alterations. Was it worth it? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. After looking at the difference between genuine silk and dresses made out of satin/polyester, I do think there is quite a noticeable difference between synthetic and the real thing. So in my mind, I justify the added expense with the fact that the dress is silk and not synthetic. But I do still think that paying more than $1000 for a single clothing item that you'll never wear again to be quite an extravagence.

Assuming that they knew up front that by not staying at the resort, they would need to pay for a pass to attend the wedding, I personally don't think it's necessary to offer to pay for your 3 off-resort guests. Definitely not for the people they are staying with. My reasoning is that if someone accepts an invitation to a DW, they also accept paying for the costs associated with attending. If they chose not to stay at the wedding resort, and knew that there would be a fee to get on the resort to attend, then accepting the invite also means they accepted that there would be a fee. Hopefully they understood this upfront. Even if they didn't, politely letting them know that because they are not staying on the resort, they would have to purchase a pass for themselves and their guests wouldn't be rude, IMHO.

Found this link to web broadcasts of real weddings at various chapels on the Strip. Handy if you're thinking of using one of these venues! Enjoy, fellow Vegas brides! Webcasting at Cashman Photo Enterprises

I think I have to go with everyone else and say that I think you should offer a more traditional registry in addition to the alternative one so that people have a choice. If you only go with the mortgage registry, it might be taken as asking for money. While that may actually be the most useful thing to get, the underlying message/idea may not go over well with some people.

I'd say you might want to get the word out that this is the situation with your registry, so that people don't do what you just described - go to a Target store and find that they have to turn around and go home to place an order. If you have at least half of your items that can be purchased in-store, it isn't all that bad. Is there a way for guests to look at the registry online to figure out what's in the store and what isnt? Another consideration is shipping costs - some people might want to save on shipping by buying in-store. I would personally see paying the shipping as a convenience, since I could then ask Target to just ship direct to you rather than deal with it myself. BUT, paying extra for shipping might turn a few people off, especially these days when everyone is trying to save money. At the end of the day, though, I wouldn't worry about it too much, because you have half of your list available in-store. If you find that everything is being bought in-store, though, you might want to tweak the list to adjust it accordingly.

I agree with everyone else - be glad she isn't coming. Stay out of her little circle of misery and be happy. Now, not to defend her or anything, but $4000 to come to a wedding *is* a LOT of money - I mean, you can buy a car for that much. If it makes you feel any better, that could be a fairly valid reason for her not being able to come - I mean, times are hard now, more so than ever, so it may not be a personal thing against you - she may genuinely not be able to afford it. She may have been able to pay off her own wedding, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she is rolling in dough - who knows what she had to cut back on to do it. I know that certain of my and FH's close friends/family would not be able to come to my wedding if I asked them to pay that much. I certainly wouldn't be offended, but OTOH, I wouldn't offer to pay for their trip, either. Regardless, I'd just ignore her.

Like you, the FH and I did not want to wait a whole year to get married (when you *know* you're with the right one, why wait, eh?), along with all the elaborate planning, etc. this is largely the reason why we chose to marry in Vegas - everything can be done quickly and easily there, yet still be nice and FUN for everyone. Additionally, Vegas is a destination that was easy for everyone to get to, doesn't take a lot of planning to book, and I won't have to worry about anyone not having a good time. We got engaged last Xmas, and will marry in May. I haven't had any problems or complaints yet. However, had I wanted to marry in a more exotic location (Bali was one of the choices), I probably would have just planned on having it just be the FH and me. 6 months would definitely not have been enough time to organize a wedding with guests/reception, etc., especially since a lot of the FH's family has never traveled overseas before. So IMHO, a lot of it kind of depends on who you want to have at your DW, and how easy it is for them to get there. If you expect people to get passports/visas, and fly 23 hours to attend your wedding, it would be both practical as well as polite to give them a more than a month or two to plan.

I am an engineer, and have worked globally. The answer is simple if your invite is going to an American engineer living in N. America. Not as simple if the invite is going to someone outside of American culture. If your invite is going to an American engineer living in N. America, I would leave it out. In the U.S., using the title "P.E." for a licensed engineer is like a "C.P.A" which is a title really only used on business cards to denote professional competency, and relevant only in a professional sense. And as pointed out previously, if someone is an engineer, s/he is not necessarily a P.E., which denotes a professional certification. Even if someone is a P.E. in the U.S., you would not address an invite to "Mr. John Smith, P.E.", just as you would not address an invite to "Mr. John Smith, C.P.A." In other countries, being an engineer does in fact carry the respect of a formal title, such as "Engr. John Smith" or "Prof. Dr. Engr. John Smith" (yes, some cultures even tack on multiple titles) So if you are facing a situation of addressing an invite to someone who comes from such a culture, I'd weed out what the formality is for that specific case.

My RSVP date is at the end of April - I'm hoping that attaching the stamps at the old rate will encourage people to get them in on time! Maybe I'm being optimistic, though. Heh.

My e-ring consists of diamond and aquamarine, so I got some diamond and aquamarine earrings and a necklace to match from Blue Nile: Earrings:Aquamarine & Pav Hoop Diamond Earrings 18k White Gold Necklace: Oval Aquamarine and Diamond Pendant in 18k White Gold (8x6 mm)

Everybody has different budget priorities for a wedding, and I was curious about other viewpoints on what folks feel is worth spending on vs not. So ladies and gents, what are scrimping on in your wedding? Splurging? Why? Here's my list: Scrimp: --Various accy's such as cake knife and cutter (24.99 from Mikasa that I'll dress up with ribbon), ceremony programs (DIY job with Vistaprint), various other stationary such as placecards, which I am DIY'ing, misc decorations that I am DIYing --Flowers - not having any other flowers other than my and attendant flowers. Reason - I feel my ceremony and reception locations are beautiful enough, and I find flowers a pretty forgetable aspect of every wedding I've been to. --Music - Not having a live band or dancing - Reason - my lunch reception is at a restaurant that can't accomodate this. It's a small wedding where I don't need Aunt Alice doing the chicken dance, anyway. ;-) --Bridal shoes - cheap "dyeables" jobs that are comfy, but with high platform heels. I don't expect anyone to see my shoes anyway, and we aren't doing a garter toss. --Caligrapher - not getting one. I am hand-addresssing the invites myself, and the other stationery I need can be printed on an inkjet and nice font. --Veil - the one I wanted to match my dress was $500. I designed my own knock-off made by Occansey Designs for about $100 Splurge: --Guests - I've always put this as my #1 budget priority. Thus, we aren't doing any cost-cutting when it comes to providing good food and a top shelf open bar. We will be hosting a cocktail hour and lunch reception at a Michelin-rated restaurant, and having a catered in-suite party in the evening. I feel that when the food and the job the couple does as hosts is good, it's a memorable feature of a wedding. And when the food and hosting is bad, it's unforgettable/unforgiveable. --Cake - We decided to spend the extra $$$ for a memorable and unique cake with the added cost of fondant decoration. Another feature of a wedding I think people look for and remember. --Favors - An extension of the above idea of treating your guests well - we are planning on nice bottles of wine and some other little treats for each guest. --The dress - This is unintentional, because I originally put a budget limit of $1000 on the dress. But you can't help it when you fall in love with the Right dress at the Wrong price. Plus I found the difference between a genuine silk dress and a satin one very noticeable and thus felt it was worth the extra $$$ for silk. --Photography - Paying the extra $$$ to own the rights to our digital images. --Attendants - Paying for the dress, Makeup/Hair/Mani/Pedi and of course, buying attendant gifts. I feel privledged that my MoH could come to my DW, and really want to show my appreciation for it. --Rehearsal Dinner - Another extension of being good hosts, we aren't cost-cutting here, either, and choosing a 5* restaurant. --Invitations - Eeeep. This was also unintentional. We are spending about $14 per invitiation sent. Just couldn't find invitiations that I liked that were inexpensive, nor did I have time to DIY. I also really wanted thermography, since it makes such a difference in the impression it makes.

I lived in PA for a number of years, and it does seem to be a regional thing that is quite common (like wedding soup! mmmmm....). The majority of PA/OH weddings I've been to have had a "dollar dance", oftentimes with a shot of booze of your choice included along with the dance. I grew up in an area where this was never done, and for the first few weddings I've been to where there was a "dollar dance" I was pretty shocked and thought it was completely tacky and offensive. However, "when in Rome", you do as the Romans, and eventually came to accept it as a feature of weddings in the region. If I were to attend in a wedding again where this was featured, I would certainly participate and have fun along with everyone else. That said, I would *never* think to do such a thing at my own wedding. I would also add that I think the dollar dance is only appropriate for first weddings and/or young couples under 30 as an absolute maximum.

I'd have to agree with all the others that I think you need a little more food of substance included in the menu that can more easily replace dinner for people who did not get a chance to eat. The main reason why I think this is because you are holding guests from 4:30-10:30 - this includes peak dinner hours, so even if they have been stuffing their faces all week at the AI, they would probably appreciate having heavier appetizers that can more easily substitute for dinner. I've been to parties that have overlapped dinner hours where just snacks were served - inevitably, people start leaving early so that can have a "real" meal. This is just me, but I get hungry and cranky if I don't have regular meals. I would be pretty annoyed if someone held me from 4:30-10:30 PM (a long time!) without feeding me something that came close to resembling a meal.

I think time of day plays a role here. If you do a cocktail party during dinner hours, IMHO, you should feed the guests dinner - it'll be expected. Otherwise, I'd schedule it either early or late, and clearly indicate that it is "cocktail reception" to set expectations that guest are on their own for dinner. Another option is have a morning wedding and a lunch reception - a lunch will most certainly be cheaper than dinner.

I have to go through the same decision myself soon! Maybe these sites will help you out! (Or, maybe confuse even more :-)) Either way, they provide a detailed explanation of the various bustle options, with pics! Good luck! WHY A BUSTLE? Bustles

Here's a competitor I found that does steaming beginning at only $35. Can't vouch for the quality, though, since I have personally not used them Las Vegas Tuxedos - Las Vegas Bridal Shops

I only have a MoH, for whom I got some pearl and topaz earrings. I'll probably get her a fancy compact (like the ones from Estee Lauder). My FH's Best Man is a woman - don't konw what he is getting for her. I'm also paying for her dress, manicure/pedicure, and wedding day hair and makeup, but I don't consider that a real gift since it's for the wedding. The FH and I will also request that the photographer take some indiviudal "glam" (IE, non-wedding like photos) shots of each of them so that they have pictures of themselves all done-up to keep and share with their respective SOs.

We got a block for our guests at the Wynn - didn't bother to try elsewhere. There was no minimum count, but that's probably because we are also having our wedding there. How it worked is that it was a rate lock on a certain date + a small discount. IMO, it's not really necessary to provide blocks at various hotels for guests - the Vegas hotel market is very fluid, and your guests could very well get a better deal on their own without a block. This is basically what we said on our website. Since Wynn is a pretty expensive hotel, we also suggested nearby places that I'm sure my guests will be able to get reasonable rates at without a block.

Hi again, WeddedBliss! I found Las Vegas Wedding Chapel Reviews, Pictures, Packages, Marriage License Laws, Elvis to be pretty helpful, I do think there is a review of the Rio there.

Hi Wedded Bliss! I hear you on having tons of questions! The Vegas board isn't nearly as active as the others focused on Mexico/jamaica/caribbean, etc. so there doesn't seem to be as much information here on it. I knew from the start that I didn't want dancing at my wedding. It also worked out that the only good slot open at my ceremony venue on the date I wanted was in the morning - and we didn't want guests to twiddle their thumbs fo 6 hours waiting for an evening reception with dancing anyway. So converging on lunch reception with an informal party in the evening in our suite just kind of rolled out of it. I'd been to morning wedding/lunch receptions before and I actually kind of prefer them. Plus we'll actually be able to relax and hang out with our guests that way at the in-suite party. If you elect to have a private room in a restaurant, or use the meeting rooms/catering at a hotel, most, if not all, will let you setup a reception with a dance floor - I don't think that will be a problem. And many catering companies will help you find a venue and setup that will accomodate a reception and dance floor. I never looked into it closely, though, so hopefully other brides can provide more insight on this. As for photography, we are using the photographer that came with our wedding pacakge, and adding on additional time. We will also do the "photo guestbook" idea that there are postings about elsewhere on the site, and will have the those ubiquitous "table cameras" at the reception and at the party.