samanthag

WELCOME TO THE FORUM!

WELCOME TO THE FORUM!

WELCOME TO THE FORUM!

Congratulations!!!! I'm soo excited for you!

Quote: Originally Posted by Hartyt509 I'd say you have to do whats right for YOU. You can't lose yourself or you will be useless and not the person he fell in love with. I know this from personal experience and unfortunately one of my friends is having the same issue. She is just not the person we love as she has done everything in the last 12 years to make hubby happy and he still whines! There is nothing wrong with a distance relationship and to be honest I prefer it. I have time for ME and when FI comes home we are together but we are still both individuals which is what we both need. So its no surprise when I say follow your heart, go to Chicago and try it out. You might hate it and want to go straight back but unless you try you won't know and you will end up resenting it. Thanks girls!!!! I really mean that! Thank you soo much for your advice and support!! I think I needed a little reassurance that I am not being a spoiled little brat! I have taken to heart what all you guys have said and do feel that I'm feeling this way because of this emotional roller-coaster we have been living. Before all of this we had no stress. And I had no desire to move anywhere. I was happy here! I know that losing myself in all of this is definitely not a good thing. And so long as FI is okay with it (he just wants me to be happy) I'm going to visit with a leasing agent next week in Chicago & go for it. When I was working we wouldn't be with each other for min 4 days so I think if I move to experience something I've always wanted to he can commute to Chicago & visit me on the weekends when he's off. Hell, I can even bid work to have SanAntonio overnights during the week & we would see each other then too! Ahhhhhhhhhhh I feel like I can breathe already! =) You girls are the bestest! xoxoxo

Quick summary: FI & I met 3 years ago when I was selling my house in San Antonio and putting all of my things in storage (moving in with a friend for a few months) to save money & move to Chicago with a couple of flight attendants I work with. Chicago is a base for us and I have never lived in a base and always have had to commute to work.- Since 1996!! ugh! Anyhoo, I tell FI that we can be "friends" because of the move and all but of course things changed & I realized what a wonderful man he is & when he proposed I was super excited. I never thought I would marry but he is a man who will make a great husband and even better father! So what's the problem?? Last year (Feb) he resigned from his job when he found out his dad was diagnosed with an illness and didn't have very long to live.-We quickly made MAJOR adjustments financially. We sold MY car- I pretty much stayed with him for support the ENTIRE year by giving away all of my trips. I also feel like I gave away my life too! But I felt this was the right thing to do and plus I didn't want to leave him to deal with all of this alone. His Dad died September. We were planning on marrying in Puerto Rico (where he is from) April 2009 but then agreed to change the date to April 2010.- We felt that was enough time to grieve. Yesterday we found out his grandfather in Puerto Rico passed away. His Dad's Dad. So we will be leaving to Puerto Rico either tonight or tomorrow morning...... I know this is going to sound very selfish & for me to say but I just feel like I want my old life back!!!!!!! Everything is soo stressful right now and it's not getting any better! I've even started looking at apartments in Chicago. FI is totally aware of this. I'm not saying that I don't want to marry him. He is a GREAT guy! I just feel like I don't want to have ANY regrets in life. I want to experience living in the city. Taking the train to work. Finishing a trip and going straight home & not having to worry about the next flight to SanAntonio. Does this make sense? At the same time I don't want to feel like I'm running away from things either. Of course FI is sooooooooo wonderful that he says that he understands and if I want to move to Chicago that he would come visit me on Thursday nights (he's off on Friday) and stay the weekend. Our only disagreement is who keeps our labradoodle. He is our child. Well & honestly sometimes he does ask if we are separating. Especially because when we went to print our announcements (just yesterday) about changing our wedding date I didn't want to put the new date just yet. I understand why he would sometimes feel like I've changed my mind on getting married, but to be honest with your guys I don't know if I have?? I don't want to be a b*tch & leave when things get tough. That's not me. I just sometimes feel like I've lost myself in this whole thing. I was slowly starting to go back to work & now with his grandfather I'm going to have to take time off of work again. I told him he should maybe go alone this time but he won't. I FEEL EMOTIONALLY DRAINED! So girls tell me what you think? Am I crazy? Am I being a b*tch? Should I stop looking at apartments in Chicago? Is it too late? I'm going to be a married woman so just forget about it It's not about only ME anymore?? -I'm sorry this is sooo long! I just started typing & couldn't stop! I need a drink!

"HIT THE WALL" is exactly what I've been feeling too. My situation is that we were ready to marry April 25, 2009 in Puerto Rico. Sadly FI Dad passed away so we changed the date to April 2010. Ever since we changed the date I don't want to plan! I too have hit the wall! Maybe just a little break is all we need for the excitement to pick up again.... Good Luck to you sweetie! Let us know if you need anything!

CONGRATULATIONS! Looks BeAuTiFuL!!!!!

every night before I go to bed I must have a vanilla ice cream with brownie bites mixed together! yummmy! It's delicious!!!!!!! *It's also the reason I gained 10 pounds in 2008. 11 pounds exactly- I weighed myself today.

That's awesome! Good for you!!!!!!!!

Quote: Originally Posted by JessicaLovesBrian Love both of these shows. Trashy reality tv train wrecks make me feel that my life isn't that bad. HA! That's how I feel after watching these shows! I'm like, Wow I really don't have it bad after all!!!!!

I'm soo sorry this is going on. And I'm sure your Dad just didn't want you (his daughters) to worry about him. You know how parents can be! Things will work out sweetie!

Luv the color too!!!!!!! s-t-y-l-e

your pictures are fantastic!! I LUV them!!!!!!!!

waay too much drama for you girly!!!!!!!!

i saw the episode too! I think that one guy's mom is waay over the top!!!!! I forget his name... -the one who tore up her "invitation" for one of the women to go on the trip because she felt they weren't good enough for her son.

This is definitely a hard one! Sometimes I myself wish that my Stepmom would just step aside from this whole thing. I don't know what it is about them feeling "entitled" to be at family events. Grant it she has married my Dad BUT he WAS married 23years ago & has 2 children-all of which she knew before getting involved with him. UGH!!!!!!! I am nooooo help! My advice to you is stay strong and do what is right for you and your family.

I agree with the other girls. I think he just doesn't get it. I would just be honest with him...

I love the french pedi also! My nail tech never does acrylic on my toes. It's actually not very hard for them just to paint your toe nails french & it looks really nice!! As far as how long in advance before your wedding, I would want to do it the day before or even the day of just so it last longer.

My thoughts and prayers are with you April.

WELCOME TO THE FORUM!!!! HAPPY PLANNING!!!!!

I was wondering the same thing.... My wedding planner does not work for the resort. We hired her and are paying $5,000 for her services. Do we tip her on top of that? And if so what would be appropriate?

Quote: Originally Posted by azhuskergirl if you haven't been over to the ABC website & viewed "Diary of the Departed, week 1" you should. It's sad how attached some of the ladies got after just meeting him! I'm going to watch this right now!! I think it's hilarious how these women act after such a short time with him. Maybe there's more that we don't see? Or maybe they are just crazy! ha!

Very interesting! I was thinking about this very thing and feel that it's excellent idea. In fact I plan to ask FI what he thinks about it... I'm curious to hear from others who have been through pre-marriage counseling.

WELCOME TO THE FORUM!!!!!!