It's traditionally considered improper etiquette to use a MARRIED monogram until after the ceremony. This is a rule of etiquette that is frequently broken in modern weddings, and as destination weddings are even more relaxed probably most of your guests wouldn't notice. However, there are lots of options to use a monogram without breaking that rule. Just use a monogram of just your first names or initials and don't include the last name or last initial. If you're using a really traditional monogram, you can use an ampersand in place of the center middle initial: j&s instead of jRs. Hope that helps...