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My dad won't come to our DW....

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#11 vlynnw

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    Posted 03 December 2009 - 12:31 AM

    I know exactly how you feel. I'm also getting married in 2011 and my dad is dead set against going to Mexico for my wedding. He believes you get married where you were raised and refuses to get on a plane and go out of the country. This is devastating of course as we are close and I really want him to walk me down the aisle. I however am his youngest daughter and he's done this once before. I'm sure your dad is like mine in that he wants to be at your wedding just not the location. I've already booked our location and am determined that before leaving my dad will be on the plane. My mom keeps telling me I have plenty of time but I often get worried that he really won't be there and start to wonder if I should change my location to a place he would be more likely to show up at.
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    #12 diamondpooch

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      Posted 03 December 2009 - 12:46 AM

      I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this right now. I can't imagine if my mom wasn't at my wedding. It wouldn't seem complete! I hope he has a change of heart.

      #13 RonNMel

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        Posted 03 December 2009 - 01:12 AM

        I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. I was so anxious about telling my dad about my DW because of that very reason: worried he'd say he wouldn't come. He is not a "tropical place" kind of guy and he's disappointed me lots of times in the past. I was soooo surprised when he actually seemed happy about my engagement and said he'd come for sure!!!

        Good luck with your dad, hope he changes his mind.

        #14 inspiredfyre

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          Posted 03 December 2009 - 01:48 AM

          I know that must be so upsetting, especially if you wanted him to walk you down the aisle. I would definitely urge you to gently talk to him to find out why he's not interested, or can't go, and see if you guys can't come to an agreement, especially knowing how important this is for you! There are many reasons why people are afraid, or hesitant for international travel. Perhaps having an AHR at home with him and everyone else who may not be able to go will be just the thing to bring everyone back together for special memories of your big day!!

          best of luck getting it all sorted out, I hope it works out for the better!!



          #15 Girasole

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            Posted 03 December 2009 - 10:18 AM

            My parents, especially my dad said the same thing but they have booked & are now excited to go. I think it was the shock of not having a traditional wedding for him.
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            #16 Barbo

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              Posted 03 December 2009 - 01:32 PM

              To conquer his fear of flying maybe suggest a short flight somewhere... You're in AB. Maybe fly to Edmonton or Calgary, get his feet wet! :)

              #17 bearbunny

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                Posted 03 December 2009 - 11:56 PM

                I am so sorry to hear that - its really an awful feeling. My parents are not happy at all about my destination wedding but they are going after many arguments - although I wouldn't say they are thrilled or excited in the least. I communicated how important it was to me that they be there and after a few months they came around when they realized I wasn't changing my mind. Good luck!!!!

                #18 Fivecents

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                  Posted 09 December 2009 - 10:11 AM

                  Thank you all for your heart felt responses.

                  No, he has no reason (at least he didn't express any) he's set on me getting married here, like my friend did this summer and well me and my friend are very much different.....which I'm surprised my dad can't see that. She had a very cute wedding, in a hall, with about 40 people present. Which was great for her but not for me. I tried explaining to my dad that if I get married here, it's gonna become a big wedding which I don't want. Just on my mom's side I have 14 uncles and aunts, not counting their spouses and then some....

                  It's not that he doesn't like to travel either, he loves it. He's also the type that he loves to visit stuff and do something, that's why we're trying to pick a place where I know he won't get bored.

                  I was freaked out at first but talking to my mother-in-law and reading all of your responses has calmed me down some, I'm just gonna leave it for now and hopefully he'll change his mind.

                  #19 ~*DiAnE*~

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                    Posted 09 December 2009 - 11:14 AM

                    Big Hugs! :) I really hope he changes his mind!! I'm in the same boat as some of the other ladies.. my dad has the biggest fear of flying... and I understand it.. he would sooo be there if he could but I've accepted that he just physically can't.. Luckily, you have plenty of time.. hopefully you can slowly start working on him!! Good luck with everything!

                    #20 KJT1985

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                      Posted 09 December 2009 - 11:43 AM

                      Wow I'm so sorry. It really sucks but many times the people closest to you will be the worst about feeling like their opinion is more important than yours. Stick to your guns! Maybe your dad thinks this is a crazy whim and that you won't really go through with it (since it's a little far off). Maybe he's hoping that by not buying into it you'll change your mind or that you can't really be that serious. A destination wedding really IS a bit more inconvenient for guests but its SO much more fun as well! My brother isn't coming and it really hurts but I LOVE how excited the other guests are getting. I LOVE thinking about the memories we'll create. Because this same group of people will NEVER all be on vacation together again. This truly is a once in a lifetime chance. Make sure your dad knows how serious you are. I'm sure eventually he'll realize that he'd regret not going and will change his tune. Until then, stay positive! You've got plenty of time!

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