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Fivecents

My dad won't come to our DW....

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I know this is a long ways away BUT just got off the phone with my dad and he's set on not coming to our wedding in 2011. I'm his only daughter, his oldest and right now I really don't know how to deal with this....

 

I can't believe he wouldn't come. He's not the beach type or the pool but no matter where we go, I'd make sure he has plenty to do and be entertained.

 

Has this ever happened to anyone and if so how have you dealt with it. I know it's still a ways away but it seems to me his mind is pretty much set. HELP!!!

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Sorry to hear that your Dad may not attend your wedding. Maybe he'll have a change of heart... there is still time for him to change his mind. Did he give a reason or does he just not want to go?

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You're definitely not the only one that this has happened to. I'm sure that if you search the forum you'll find posts from other brides who've been in similar situations with either 1 parent or both.

 

I was also in the exact situation. I'm an only child and my father said that he couldn't come to my DW b/c he was afraid of flying. I was livid and hurt. I couldn't imagine that he wasn't going to come just b/c of his fear of flying. When he said that I said to myself why doesn't he just "get over it". DH tried to tell me that a fear of flying is serious & that I shouldn't be upset b/c he had that fear. Again, I was like whatever.

In the end, he didn't go. I must say that I was okay during my wedding and didn't really think about him not being there that weekend. I'm just glad that I had friends and family who came & made my wedding week memorable.

 

I must also be honest & admit that him missing my DW has impacted our relationship today. I don't call him as much as I used to and still harbor some resentment over it. I've tried to forgive him but I will never forget it.

 

I do hope that your father changes his mind. Maybe you should keep stressing to him just how important it is to you that he be there.

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I'm sorry that I don't have any suggestions to make, but I just wanted to offer some *hugs* since I know you're probably feeling a bit down right now.

 

Do you have a good relationship with your dad otherwise? If so, maybe you can dwell on that instead of if he won't be there..

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I'm in a similar situation because my in-laws aren't coming to our DW. They aren't afraid to fly, but rather don't like to fly. This has definitely caused some upset, especially for my FI (even though he doesn't always express it).

I think that every couple needs to decide what is most important to them. Although we would love for his parents to be present, we want a DW and want to enjoy each other on our day. As for our guests.......we are happy that they WANT to be there for us and have taken holidays, spent $$, and are making the effort.

I'm sure in the long-term this will affect his parents more because they will be missing out on a very special moment.

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I'm sorry to hear that, it's pretty upsetting. It's just too bad that things like this have to stand in the way of what you want for your special day. My fingers are crossed for you.. hopefully he changes his mind!

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I don't know if you plan on exchanging vows legally before you leave for your DW, but if you are, maybe you can have him involved in that ceremony. Just a suggestion. I am a true daddy's girl. Named after him and all and if he wasn't a part of my DW, I would lose my mind, so I am sooooo sorry that you are dealing with this. Maybe if you haven't already, you could express how important it is to you that he is a there for your big day and suggest a mild sedative he could take to get his tail on the plane!! Good luck honey.. 3 big hugs your way with this message.

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