Am I being selfish?

[jrprice24]

Wow. I seriously am not a selfish person but I did come off that way. I am a nurse and I always think of what could happen. I wouldn't be going to Mexico being pregnant at any time so I guess in my mind it is hard for me to understand why she would want to go being pregnant. If the wedding were here in the states we wouldn't be having this conversation and I wouldn't care if she were 8 months pregnant. I completely understand that having a child is a blessing, I can't wait until we have children in the near future.

 

Thank you for your imput.

[Kat81]

I understand your worry and I wouldn't probably go at 6 months pregnant either BUT really it's her decision and if she has been pregnant before then I am sure she is up to it. I'm sure everything will work out great.

[Prettyhazardous]

OMG I agree with many folks on here who say that would be a very selfish request. I understand that she's your bff and all but to ask her to but her life and ultimately her family on hold for your wedding is totally unacceptable. If you have a prob with her being in your wedding preggy than just say something ab that. But please, please don't ask her to not get pregnant. I know you feel like it's your wedding and your most important day but clearly life doesn't revolve around us brides lol.

[JulieG]

YES, you are being selfish. Just wait till you decide its your turn to get pregnant and see how excited you are about it and how you want it to happen right away because you are ready for an exciting life changing event. At that point, you will know how selfish you are being right now.

 

One of my BM's was 6 months pregnant at my wedding. I was 8 months pregnant as a BM at one of my friends weddings and another friend was 7 months pregnant and a BM at another of our friends weddings, we have all been in the situation with our group of friends, one of us was a pregnant BM for every wedding. Being pregnant is an amazing and great thing, not a bad thing. It will not impede on her MOH abilities, she is still your friend and still the person you want to be your MOH, she just needs a bigger dress.

 

Get over it and ask her to be your MOH already and just deal with the fact that she might be pregnant!!!

[TammyWright]

short answer: yes, you are being selfish.

 

TTCing is not a joke and not always an option for a person to wait. some people spend years TTCing and cannot get pregnant.

 

why don't you hold off on your wedding until your friend is done TTCing, having the baby, and nursing, etc...?

[lgarner83]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrprice24 I guess why not wait another 6 month b/c in the whole picture 6 months won't make that much of a difference. She would also be leaving her husband and her 1yr old at home, possibly being 6 months pregnant.

1) I'm guessing you don't have any kids. When you are 6 months pregnant you are not paralyzed or inept!! I would go anywhere six months pregnant..I wouldn't need my husband to babysit me.

2) Sorry darlin' but it's not all about you. She has a plan, and a family. Waiting another 6 months would be a HUGE deal to most ppl who have been waiting to try and conceive. Maybe you just can't see that.

It really sucks that you are so upset about this! You shouldn't expect her to change all of her important plans to fit around all of your important plans. Like another poster said, what if she asked you to move around your wedding date to correspond with her due date?? lol. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it?

[jrprice24]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lgarner83 1) I'm guessing you don't have any kids. When you are 6 months pregnant you are not paralyzed or inept!! I would go anywhere six months pregnant..I wouldn't need my husband to babysit me.

You're right, I don't have children so this is probably why it has been hard for me to understand where she is coming from.

[*tanga*]

Pregnancy can be risky regardless of being in another country. I do not think it is selfish at all to be concerned for your friend.

 

If you had said I don't want her to be in my photos cos she might look fat? Yes that would be selfish.

[BillysBride]

If you are TRULY ONLY worried about her health, then no..you aren't being selfish. Thing is..your initial post didn't come off that way, hence the reaction of the ladies here. The health concern seemed to be more of an after thought.

 

I think, maybe you should ...do a little research regarding travel to Mexico? It's not as if you'll be asking her to go drink water from some river where they bathe cattle or something. lol It's a tourist mecca for a few reasons, one of which BEING that people go, have a great time and don't have to risk life or limb in order to do so. I think if you're really concerned for her health and that of an unborn child she may be carrying by then, then great. But....make sure you have good reason to be concerned, then trust you friend enough to believe that if YOU are concerned, SHE will be WAY more so...it's her child. I'm sure she'll get her physician's approval and discuss any concerns with him/her prior to traveling.

 

Better yet, change your wedding location. That would be more acceptable than changing her family planning I bet. lol I mean, if you're really worried about her health......

In the end, if the worse thing that can happen is her not being there due to some unforeseen complication...you're wedding still goes on. You sort of act like her being there and the numbers being even are of paramount importance..they aren't. Lots of people don't have an MOH. It's not the end of the world, relax and hope for the best.

[TATrisha]

It was possible that I was going to photograph a wedding in Mexico this past weekend, I am 30 weeks pregnant. I talked with my doctor and she was perfectly fine with it. At 32 or 34 weeks the airlines won't let you fly... however 6 months pregnant should not be a big deal at all!! Like I said, I'm 30 weeks and I would be willing to go right now. The hospitals in the Riviera Maya are actually rated better than the USA, specifically Playa Del Carmen, so even if, god forbid, something were to happen, she should be okay.

As for the parties and everything before the wedding, that shouldn't be a problem in the least. The fact that she can't drink shouldn't be a big deal. I mean, I don't drink to begin with, so does that mean that I wouldn't be able to go to a bachelorette party? Nope. And I still have fun.

I think it's really important that you be a good friend and be supportive of her. If you love her enough to make her your MOH then she is the best friend you have in the world. Why would you want her to put her family on hold for that?

 

As for waiting 6 more months to TTC... oh yes, it is a big deal! LOL. you'll understand more when you start trying to have a family, but when you finally make the decision to start trying it's a huge occasion. I guess it's kind of like waiting another 6 months to get engaged... or married. Especially waiting that extra 6 months, not because it makes more sense for you and your FI... but because someone else wants you to.

Plus, months of preperation go into TTC. You should be on prenatals for 2 months in advance, be off of birth control for a few months, timing and temping and writing down symptoms so you know WHEN you can try. It's a very complicated process. And yes, some people are VERY lucky and get pregnant right away, however that's not usually the case. And for me, I couldn't wait 6 months. There were other things in my husband and mine lives which required us to start trying when we did. Such things as health insurance coverage, day care openings, huge work projects, and honestly... time of year! Being from the midwest, having a baby in July versus December was HUGE for me. I, myself, was a January baby so I wanted my children to have a season where they could actually do something instead of watching snow fall on their birthday.

Wow, that was a novel. Sorry. But in conclusion, I would celebrate this huge milestone in her life, like she is planning on celebrating yours rather than dampering her excitement.