A little down about people's reactions...

[sarafish81]

Agreed with everyone...I had to develop a thick skin really fast. Some days are harder than others (especially if I'm pms-ing!) but don't lose sight of what it is you are doing. At the end of the day, you and your FI are getting married where you want, the way you want, to each other! All the best!

[KJT1985]

Thanks guys! I'm feeling better. Guess I just need to learn to ignore it.

[K'osh]

I couldn't have said it better than all the girls already have...we're going through the same thing. We did not want a big wedding and that's the main reason we're going away. All these people that are saying they can't afford it a year away is bs...I'm sure everyone can save $20 a week for a year if they really want to come.

Cheer up and know that you're not alone in this battle. In the end you will marry the man of your dreams and that's all that matters.

[Hartyt509]

We've all been there! My response was "that's a shame you can't come" then I switched off lol let the gits complain gives someone else a break :-)

[BillysBride]

It's tough for me when the complaints come from SOME people...my mom isn't the most supportive of it, but I do think she's coming around (heaven knows she's had enough time).

 

I'm going into it KNOWING that the vast majority of people won't come..and being ok with it. I'm not trying to beg, cajole, or convince anybody to be there. You guys are right, it's amazing how people ASSUME a bunch of crap about it right off the jump, as if we're seriously asking them to pay thousands and thousands of dollars for a couple of days on the beach. We're not ritzy five star people, so one would THINK that folks would know we aren't trying to book the freakin Ritz or something.

 

ANYway, let it roll off. A.) like everyone is saying, this isn't about anyone but the two of you, and B.) it's not like it would be some horrendous hardship for people to take their vacation some place..oh, I dunno, gorgeous and exotic. It's ballsy for people to approach you like that in response to the news and they should know better.

[DGG]

My family has overall been okay with it, but some of FI's family has been complaining, which is driving us crazy - his cousin had a DW in Puerto Rico 1 1/2 years ago and the place they had it was an all-inclusive and cost over $500 per night. We complained to other people but didn't say anything to them b/c it was their wedding.. At the wedding, his cousin told me what a good plan this was b/c it cost them about $3000 total for the wedding (they had a simple wedding with only what was included in the package) - yeah b/c we were all paying so much and had to stay at their resort. Now for our wedding, we chose a resort that is about $250 per room/night, not all-inclusive and we are paying for 3 dinners for our guests - and of all people who complain it is that side of the family?!?!?

Okay, sorry, I think I just had to vent...but I agree it is so frustrating.

[binzer]

I think this is the penance every bride must pay for getting married somewhere fabulous! Just remember, it's worth it, and I think it does get better as the wedding day approaches.

 

I had a lot of complaints initially (not just about having a destination wedding, but about WHERE I was having my destination wedding) and although I can deal with normal complaints, passive aggressive behaviour makes me crazy! My MiL really wanted her son to get married at a resort she loves in Hawaii (totally not our style) and I think she's bitter that I did my own thing. After I booked Costa Rica she kept saying things like "well, if Tyson only has two people there, that's ok" as if I only cared about my side of the family! It also didn't even make sense b/c the wedding she wanted wouldve been way more expensive for everyone. As it turns out of course, everyone we invited on his side is coming (despite the fact that she constantly told me they wouldn't be able to) but now she complains that the people coming won't be able to afford it, and that she'll have to pay for their flights and rooms (again, this doesn't make sense...people wouldn't rsvp if they couldnt afford it!).

 

All that being said, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Now that I've sent my invitations out, I'm starting to hear back from people, and a lot of them are really excited! As the day gets closer you'll hear less and less from the people that aren't coming, and more and more from the excited people who are. Also, once everything is set in stone, people tend to keep their mouths shut b/c there's no point in complaining, and they also start to feel guilty about it.

 

Regarding people who are coming that are complaining, I find it helps to include them. Discuss things as if you really value their input (even if it's about something small and insignificant and it's likely they won't complain as much b/c they'll feel like they have a stake in the wedding

[Jen_S]

I agree with the other girls. We have been going through this for the past year and there are some people who booked and are still making rude comments. I swear closer to the wedding it is getting harder to swallow but this is what FI and I want and that is all we are focusing on now.

[ddiinnyyeell]

I know how you feel. But I wanted to weed some people out of my wedding anyway which with that I just have to deal with losing a few people too. Unfortunately my brother can't come which breaks my heart but he has a good reason. My future in-laws have been bitching since we told them about it. Bitching about money, that we aren't marrying in a church, that they have to leave their beloved dogs for a couple days. UGH. I can't stand it!! They should just not come!

[Wendy1986]

Ah! I just went through that last week with all my family except they weren't complaining about how expensive it was going to be they were just trying to make everything so much more complicated then what we wanted it to be... That is why my FI and I wanted to go away to keep it simple and it seems like everyone else thinks that it is their wedding not ours!