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KJT1985

A little down about people's reactions...

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If I have learned anything during this season of planning my wedding, it is how inwardly focussed guests, friends and family can be. As brides, we must realize quickly that most people want us to have the wedding that THEY want us to have...the one that suits them, their schedule, their wallet, their taste in food and music, during a time of day when the sun is shining on their good side, where the carpet will not interfere with their new shoes and the cake is lactose-free because they have an allergy!

 

They will complain about anything that does not suit them, ignoring the wishes and wants of the bride and grrom because they believe they have some entitlement to your wedding! After all, they are the groom's sister, bride's mother, groom's best friend, etc. They forget that they have the blessing of witnessing your special day...and that's it...that is all they are entitled to.

 

A thick skin is necessary, and so is a firm, sweet spirit. This firm, sweet spirit will allow you to smile and explain for the 10th time that yes, you will be getting married in Los Cabo...and you'd love to have to have them with you, but if they can't - that's OK. You'll have a daiquri in their honour.

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You have nothing to be sorry about! What better place to vent then on here to a bunch of ladies that know exactly what you're going through lol? I think most of us have had the same problem. I know all that I wanted was for people to simply say "no thank you, we can't make it". Why make the bride and groom feel bad about something that they want to do to celebrate their union? When people kept telling us that they couldn't come and asking why we chose to have a destination wedding we just said "why not". The day is about YOU, not them. Hopefully, in the end it will turn out for the better. The people that want to come will come and the rest of the whiners who would bring down your big day with their complaining can stay home!

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I can definitely relate to this post! My FI and I got engaged in '06, planned an elaborate wedding for 300+ guests for August '08, and unfortunately had to postpone it in the week before the wedding due to FI's illness. Now, with things much better, we have decided on a DW (mostly for my sanity...cannot do all that planning again!!). You'd think in this situation, our guests would understand our decision and be happy for us.....and while most are, we have still received THOSE comments that all you girls talk of. Its unbelievable!!! After all the trauma we've gone through, some people are still upset about the cost. Bottom line.... you shouldn't worry about what people think, and do your wedding for YOU! My FI and I couldn't be happier (and this time around, we are actually enjoying the planning process, instead of stressing out!), and thats all that matters!!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeautifulBridetoBe View Post
If I have learned anything during this season of planning my wedding, it is how inwardly focussed guests, friends and family can be. As brides, we must realize quickly that most people want us to have the wedding that THEY want us to have...the one that suits them, their schedule, their wallet, their taste in food and music, during a time of day when the sun is shining on their good side, where the carpet will not interfere with their new shoes and the cake is lactose-free because they have an allergy!

They will complain about anything that does not suit them, ignoring the wishes and wants of the bride and grrom because they believe they have some entitlement to your wedding! After all, they are the groom's sister, bride's mother, groom's best friend, etc. They forget that they have the blessing of witnessing your special day...and that's it...that is all they are entitled to.

A thick skin is necessary, and so is a firm, sweet spirit. This firm, sweet spirit will allow you to smile and explain for the 10th time that yes, you will be getting married in Los Cabo...and you'd love to have to have them with you, but if they can't - that's OK. You'll have a daiquri in their honour.
hahaha i love that! definitely something i'll keep in mind when i get those comments.

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I've been going through the same nonsense with my side of the family. Mom “wouldn't let me†send out save the dates to anyone and has proceeded to call me rude, arrogant, selfish, while also telling me to stop thinking that people have indispensible funds to spend on me. She is so crazy she made my dad cry and is forcing my brothers to fly with her. What a nightmare. This is on top of the snippy emails and IMs that keep coming in from people… “Why do you have to get married in Mexico, blah, blah, blah?†For some reason all of the negativity seems to really downgrade the positive responses of “Woo Hoo! Vaca in Mexico!â€

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeautifulBridetoBe View Post
A thick skin is necessary, and so is a firm, sweet spirit. This firm, sweet spirit will allow you to smile and explain for the 10th time that yes, you will be getting married in Los Cabo...and you'd love to have to have them with you, but if they can't - that's OK. You'll have a daiquri in their honour.
I think I am going to take the daiquiri advice and even push it further. Maybe Iâ€ll include something in the invites or on our wed-site to the effect of itâ€s 5 oâ€clock somewhere.

 

“If you are unable to attend, we ask for your presence in thought, prayer and celebration. At 5 PM CST on Dec 5, 2009, wherever you are in the world, grab a margarita, raise your glass, and join us in celebrating our new adventure together!†shots.gif

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Thats great, autjo! I might use that as well! We are having an early morning ceremony in Hawaii, with a brunch right afterwards. So to our family on the east coast, when we are raising our glasses of champagne in Hawaii, it really will be 5 o'clock there! How cute! Thanks!

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I am so glad I'm not the only one receiving slack for having a destination wedding. To be honest, I have my main list of people that I ABSOLUTELY want there, and I actually planned my date around dates that would work for all of those people on that list. They have all promised to be there and are so happy for us. As bad as this sounds - when anyone else complains about the DW wedding, I think to myself, 'well maybe I don't want them there if they're going to be downers about it anyways'

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I came on here today to see if I was the only one who feels this way. I am sooooo glad I am not alone! Don't people know you see everything on facebook!!!?? In truth I can't afford to HAVE a wedding anywhere else other than mexico! The in-laws seem to think I am the one behind all of this destination wedding....which isn't the case at all....I'm not letting it be possible for them to join in on the day blablabla It is so hard not to say something back to these complainers! It would cost them just as much to spend a week in mexico as it would be for them to travel out here and get a hotel room for a few days! Crimeny!shitfan.gif

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