UGH...I'm so sorry that this happened to you and that your FI is being a jerk about it too.
I would have done the same thing and tried to be nice.
Do all the things you have to do with calling the insurance company - if you have her insurance maybe it can just go insurance without you having to pay?
cops sometimes just talk to hear themselves (no offense to any police officers out there) and just bc he's a cop doesn't mean he knows anything about car damage and her working for a lawyer doesn't mean anything if she dented your car...
Hopefully your FI will calm down and be more reasonable about this in a day or 2.