He wants out...
Posted 04 June 2010 - 11:49 PM
Posted 05 June 2010 - 08:20 AM
Posted 05 June 2010 - 09:22 AM
Posted 05 June 2010 - 10:04 AM
Posted 05 June 2010 - 12:40 PM
I think it's important for you to try to understand what he's going through. Don't yell/nag/criticize him. His problems have nothing to do with you so don't take it personally. Be there for him. Be patient, kind and respectful.
http://www.michaelsteingard.comMichael and Phil Steingard are located in Ontario, but travel to Punta Cana quite often during the year. There is a good chance they will be down already during your wedding week, so this will cut travel costs
Posted 05 June 2010 - 02:01 PM
Don't worry about your guest if you have to postpone or cancel. The people who truely love and care about you guys will want whatever is best for you both--the rest you shouldn't give a **** about anyway! LOL
Posted 05 June 2010 - 05:06 PM
I agree with some of the other posters: first and foremost this man is your best friend. If he is considering suicide, then stop the presses....the only thing that matters is getting him out of his depression. You want his health for him and you also want the happiest possible fiancee on the day of your wedding. You want all this FOR HIM cuz you love him.
Although it is good that you are going to counseling, in my experience, all counselors do is allow you to talk, but sometimes you are left with no solutions since most of them try to allow you to come to conclusions on your own. So, don't put all your eggs in that basket. I think if you sit him down and let him know that you don't believe in or rely too much on the whole "the man is the main provider" blah blah, and let him know that you two are a team and you have his back you will make him feel better. Also maybe point out a time when you felt less than great about yourself and how he had your back. And I would go out of my way on a dailty basis to shower him with compliments, too!
And whatever you do DON'T think too much about canceling on all your guests. Obviously, it stinks to have to cancel and you will feel bad (especially if they lose money on the trip), but you have to worry about your relationship first and foremost, because after all , it's not just about the DAY of your wedding, it's about a marriage, and anyone who loves you will respect that.
In the end TRUST YOUR GUT. Believe in your ability to know what's right for you. You only get one life and so does he. Make sure getting married right now is what's best for both your lives before you move forward.
Best of luck to you. Keep us posted.
Posted 05 June 2010 - 05:22 PM
I was in a very similar situation before our civil ceremony. DH had the SADS really bad and was quite depressed, so it didn't make anything easy. Everything was a fight, he was blowing everything out of proportion and was quite mean. I sat him down and I told him how I felt. Once he realized what he had been doing to me, things got better. But talking to him, I figured out that a lot of the anger and other issues was just coming from him being scared. Getting married is a big deal and he was scared, so he was trying to find a way out *without* really wanting out, if that makes sense? I can't really explain it, but while he wanted to marry me he just didn't know if he could ever give me everything I deserved and felt that he wasn't good enough to be with me. I reassured him. I even wrote the entire civil ceremony text to say things like I was accepting him for who he is.
We've been through really tough patches but in the ends it works out. It's not always going to be easy. But you two have managed thus far, you can make it through this! Just be patient and supportive and open with your feelings.
Posted 05 June 2010 - 05:46 PM
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