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Guilt for Chosing DW

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#21 amandalsu

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    Posted 22 September 2009 - 11:38 AM

    I think everyone of us have gone through it. But if you ask anyone on here that has already had their DW you will see no one regrets it. Plus most of the invited guests that declined, regretted it later because the ones that did go came back talking about how it was one of the best weddings/vacations they ever had. Just be sure you give plenty of advance notice so people can save up for it. And isn't Atlantis running some great specials now? I saw a commercial for it the other day. I would love to go to the Atlantis for a wedding rather than New Jersey to some banquet hall!

    I am excluding grandparents from my wedding by going to Mexico but that was a sacrifice I decided I was ready to make. They are excited about the at home reception with photos and video of the event.

    #22 classadiva

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    • 685 posts

      Posted 22 September 2009 - 01:43 PM

      Thank you all so very much. You have eased my mind. You also made me laugh. People can indeed be too much.

      SusieQ...I thought my estraged father had nerve...but your ex-hubby wins the prize I laughed out loud when I read your post!!!

      Amandalsu...yes the Atlantis DOES often have great rates. This past summer I have seen rates as low as $169 a night....something I want to talk to the Atlantis about when I book!!! The truth is that tourism is suffering there too and they also just built so many additional high-end rooms. However, it seems that the Wedding Dept could care less!! LOL

      #23 KJT1985

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      • 694 posts

        Posted 22 September 2009 - 01:48 PM

        You're mom is TOTALLY right! This is about the two of you and what YOU want! It will be YOUR memories of YOUR wedding. I think almost every single one of us here has heard some grumbling. Especially in the beginning when people don't realize how much fun it'll be. Sticks to your guns and be prepared to hear more as time goes on (they never completely shut up). Realize that you'd probably be feeling just as much - if not more - stress if you were planning a wedding at home. Good luck and I hope you find your resolve to do what you want and to be happy about it!

        #24 tracyann

        • Jr. Member
        • 189 posts

          Posted 22 September 2009 - 03:08 PM

          This should be all about what you and FI want-- if some people have a problem with that, then that is their problem, not yours!!

          Do what makes you happy!


          #25 bride2b10

          • Jr. Member
          • 322 posts

            Posted 22 September 2009 - 05:50 PM

            I went through the same thing initially. We had people telling me, my FI, my mother, etc. that a DW is a "stupid and selfish idea"...but in the end...it is our wedding. I really want to celebrate with everybody so we decided to have an informal and casual (and local) reception when we come back. That way we have the wedding we want without excluding anybody.

            21 Booked + Bride & Groom!!!

            #26 egsarah

            • Jr. Member
            • 355 posts

              Posted 22 September 2009 - 06:15 PM

              Welcome to the forum! I think we've all gone through this one way or another. Bottom line is its YOUR day. I've gotten to the point that if its just FI and I there thats all that matters. If people want to complain then I say DON'T COME. It's not like you are forcing them. And besides...when a wedding is also a vacation its that much better in my opinnion. Hang in there!

              #27 breeze616

              • Sr. Member
              • 1,760 posts

                Posted 22 September 2009 - 06:17 PM

                All of us DW brides go through this and we will continue too - even after the wedding! But as everyone has said - this day is YOURS not theirs and if they really want to be there for your day, they will be, no matter what.

                It is tough to bear the guilt and to say 'sorry' to your family members and friends who can't afford to go. But if a DW with your closest loved ones is what you want. Then do it!!

                #28 islandbride317

                • Sr. Member
                • 1,866 posts

                  Posted 24 September 2009 - 05:52 PM

                  Originally Posted by classadiva
                  Thank you for your WISE words...I think I will print them tomorrow!! You are sooo right...not a one would change their plans for me. As long as the people we love most can be there...and we have made a financial commitment to pay the expenses of any necessary party that can't afford it....I am going to stand firm unless my FI has an objection.
                  Aaaawwww, you're so sweet! And you're so welcome, too! I just try to give my honest opinion here on BDW because I think you and all of the other girls deserve it nothing but the truth, and you seemed like you really were looking for genuine advice, so I'm flattered that you took to heart what I had to say!

                  GOOD LUCK and stand firm -- sometimes standing up for your dreams may feel like a nightmare, but as long as your memories are sweet in the end, it will all be worth it!

                  #29 Flasong

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 340 posts

                    Posted 24 September 2009 - 06:25 PM

                    This is why this forum is so great...you get a bunch of honest opinions and they have all agreed with you so far! As everyone else has already said, go with what you want! I remember trying to pick a resort that would make everyone happy because this family member wanted this or this person wanted that...well guess what? We picked a resort that had what WE wanted. And most of the people attending are our close friends who didn't give us any grief lol...only a few family memebers are attending. Of course my mom is because she is like yours and said she will go wherever we decided to go because she is happy for us! Stick to your guns and decide what you really want. Hopefully your new FI will be on your side too...thats kinda important hehe. Also, if you choose the Atlantis, do they still have the cheaper side called the Comfor Suites or something like that? I know they used to and that may be an option for the people who are complaining of the cost...just a thought!

                    #30 Tifuhhknee

                    • Member
                    • 631 posts

                      Posted 24 September 2009 - 07:48 PM

                      WOW it makes me feel better knowing other people have the same crazy issues that I do! We were engaged for like a week, my parents, aunts, uncles, etc were ALL so supportive and excited about the talk of a DW. So he sat his parents down, asked them if they were okay with it, and gave us the go ahead. We started calling everyone, big buzz and we were on cloud 9 because we were getting our dream wedding.

                      2 days later, a horrible phone call from a brother living in another state that ended in the ending of their relationship as brothers pretty much, a fight with his sister, and his parents sat us down to try and change our minds! It's ridiculous! BUT you are NOT selfish. This is your one and only chance for it to be all about you and what you want. We've learned to look at it as this is OUR day, the vows are for US, and we will have a big reception when we get back home. Everyone is still invited if they'd like to be there to support us, if not, no hard feelings. Wedding and honeymoon in one saves us money, and definitely my parents. We don't want our wedding to be putting on a show for other people, it's for us.

                      Basically, do it! We all have to stick it out together, haha.
                      Destination Wedding: April 21, 2011
                      At Home Reception: May 7, 2011
                      25 guests + bride + groom booked

                      My Wedding Planning Notes

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