Please give me your opinions...So mad!
Posted 30 July 2009 - 07:24 PM
Posted 30 July 2009 - 07:31 PM
Posted 01 August 2009 - 01:03 PM
I wanted to thank you all for your advice, comments, and suggestions. I really felt alot of support from you all and it made me feel better reading comments from other brides! With that said, our attitude for our wedding has been the more the merrier and we did invite about 80 guests down to punta cana and guests were fine. This was more of a problem because her family caused tension while we were down in Jamaica for their wedding and I didn't want my in laws (I love them!) to feel upset that their other son and his wife were going off with her family and not participating and bonding with our family. I did think of inviting them just for the sake of keeping the peace, however I decided that I have settled or given in alot with things that have happened with them and have decided to hold my ground (with FI's support) and tell his brother that although we like SIL's parents that we want my family and his family to bond like they had the opportunity to have SIL's parents and my in-laws in Jamaica. I also think that the only reason SIL's parents want to come is because they want to hang out with their daughter and her new husband and seeing us get married is an after thought. It may cause tension now but at least there won't be a nasty out burst made by me the week of my wedding, which I think would do more harm anyway. I even told my FI that we should suggest we all plan a different trip at a different time with everyone since we do like SIL's parents, but feel our wedding is not the best time for this! So now that this is decided my FI has spent two days trying to talk to his brother, but he won't answer the phone or call him back. I think he knows the answer but I would like to atleast explain the reasoning. We'll see how it goes but thanks for all your help! I love this forum!
Posted 01 August 2009 - 01:07 PM
| Originally Posted by chantelle |
I am gonna play devils advocate and suggest that maybe it would help bring your family closer and help them get to know you and your family better if they went? Do you think if you (or your hubby) talked to your BIL and told him how you and the family felt during the last trip that maybe we would wake up and smarten up for your wedding? I dunno - for us it's the more the merrier. But on the flip side, if there was someone wanting to go (and who wasn't actually invited) that we knew would just cause problems for us or any of our INVITED guests, than I would 100% not want them to go.
Sorry to hear you're going through some stressful family stuff...it always sucks! Good luck and I am sure everything will work out for you.
On a better note - we're date twins!! Glad to have found you!
Posted 01 August 2009 - 02:13 PM
Posted 01 August 2009 - 02:23 PM
Your BIL had his opportunity to have his wedding, this time it's your turn. Why in the HELL would you have virtual "strangers" there (not to mention ones that linked to previous tensions)
I agree with the girls-- have your FI explain that you're keeping things small and intimate. It is ABSOLUTELY okay to say no! It's your wedding.
Posted 01 August 2009 - 02:35 PM
Posted 02 August 2009 - 04:01 PM
| Originally Posted by Love3 |
I would have your FI address his brother and be honest to a point! If you are o.k with ruffling a liittle feathers then be completly honest. I think some people may take it the wrong way and get quite upset. Did your parents go to their wedding??
Posted 04 August 2009 - 01:08 PM
In fairness though, I think wedding etiquette is not something widely known among people. I didn't know a lot about wedding etiquette until I started planning my own wedding. I have had many people assume they are invited to my wedding which really overwhelmed me. Some people just don't catch on and so you have to forgive the odd slip up. But stick to your guns.
Posted 04 August 2009 - 03:24 PM
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