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how to ask or suggest for only money as a wedding gift

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#21 IndianBride

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    Posted 07 May 2009 - 01:58 PM

    We are in the same boat so we asked people not to get us anything but if they wanted to, then envelope gifts are great!

    #22 *Nadine*

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    • 5,466 posts

      Posted 07 May 2009 - 05:13 PM

      cancunbride, I cant see any of the pics you posted here or on your coed shower post However, I love your money tree idea. I think thats great that it was just passed word of mouth and worked out great for you guys

      #23 TinaM2b

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        Posted 08 May 2009 - 06:41 PM

        We have many people that cannot come to the wedding! We are constantly getting the question "Are you registered"? We are in the same boat, we already live together and the things we need are not things you can usually put on a registry. My solution was to go ahead and register at several stores that have things we could use (like new nicer pans, cooking items, outdoor entertaining items, etc).

        I also registered with wwwhoneymoonwishes.com. I found this site from a post on this site. It is a site you can register for unique items but you get the cash. We registered for things like flowers in our wedding suite and honeymoon suite, spa treatments, snacks in the room, wine in the room, local shows (honeymoon will be in vegas), helicopter tours and other unique items that we will probably do but if someone wants to help out, that is great. I also added a Shopping section that actually lists some unique stores in our area they can go to if they want or give us the money to go to them - they are stores we like to shop at like wine and art stores. If we get money for any of these things, we will make sure they get done because we will probably do it anyway.

        #24 jk1101

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          Posted 08 May 2009 - 07:05 PM

          I have to agree with everyone who says not to put anything about gifts on your invitations. We have on our wedding website "Your presence is our present" but a few people have sent us engagement gifts. The way I see it, if people want to give you a gift, you say thank you, and if you don't need it, return it and take the cash.

          #25 michelle6114

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          • 209 posts

            Posted 10 May 2009 - 05:29 PM

            I am not old-fashioned by any means, but I do think it is tacky and rude to request money as a wedding gift. Most people will take the hint when they find out you are not registered anywhere. Those who are close to you (or who really care what you want) will take it upon themselves to ask you or your parents if you need anything in particular. Then it can be stressed that "you do not need anything" which leaves most guests to do the safe thing and give cash.
            Money trees, money poems, multiple registry cards stuck in invitations, bride ransoms, ect......just all scream GREEDY.
            There is a great site called ettiquette hell with pages of horror stories dedicated to this and other wedding issues.

            #26 krishna69z

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            • 209 posts

              Posted 08 June 2009 - 12:55 AM

              In Manitoba, Canada it was made real simple, you just said "presentation only" but that seems to have just been a local thing

              #27 Sandra&Mario

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                Posted 08 June 2009 - 01:51 AM

                It's totally tacky to ask for money...whether it's straight forward, or in a cute poem...either way it's asking for money! You might end up with guests thinking it's totally rude! DON'T DO IT! Also, your close friends and family know that you've lived together for quite some time...I'm sure they've all been over your place and can clearly see you have everything you need...so I doubt they'll be giving you another set of mixing bowls!! We're just saying "your presence is present enough!" as we don't want gifts either! If our guests want to give us something...whether it's money or mixing bowls..we'll be grateful either way! Just please don't REQUEST MONEY! If I got your invite I'd be like..."Um, are you kidding me? Isn't traveling hundreds of miles to share in their day enough?" Even though I'd still give a gift...honestly, I'd give you a tacky picture frame just to be annoying :) Haha.

                #28 eloping789

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                • 290 posts

                  Posted 08 June 2009 - 08:24 AM

                  We registered for literally about 15 or so items via myregistry.com. It allows you to register for absolutely anything. We put a few things that could use replacing on there (tea kettle, towels, etc.), some items we still want and finished it up with a listing for gift cards to Home Depot to go toward a new lawn mower and stuff to do some remodelling. In the end, the ladies are right - including any registry info in your invite is inappropriate and asking for cash will likely put off quite a few people and you'll get lots of tacky picture frames of your guests like Sandra said. LOL!

                  #29 NaM

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                    Posted 24 July 2009 - 01:23 PM

                    We had a honeymoon registry and my FMIL flipped her lid at the idea. We didn't include anything in the invites about a registry but we are requesting no gifts when people ask where we are registred.
                    We've set up a bank account that guests can contribute to for a downpayment on our house and put a note on our website about it. It's asking for money in a way, but we don't need "stuff" for a house if we don't have one. We ABSOLUTELY don't want gifts and I want to make that very clear because I got more than I could ever want/need from my shower and if people want to give...we would appreciate the money more than anything.
                    tacky or not it is what it is...they asked and we answered.

                    #30 Sloan

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                      Posted 24 July 2009 - 01:59 PM

                      I recently received an invite to a friends wedding and right at the bottom of the invite said "monetary gifts only".

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