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I actually MARRIED an IDIOT!

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#11 YoursTruly

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    Posted 20 April 2009 - 09:46 AM

    Wow - I think it has a lot to do unfortunately with the MIL spoiling their sons and doing EVERYTHING for them! I let DH know in no uncertain terms that a slob was a deal breaker for me. Fortunately for me, his mom and dad trained him to clean, do laundry, vacuum , dust etc and some days I swear he rivals me in the cleaning area! So he does slip off the wagon sometimes, but I am there o gently remind him that we BOTH work, have a child together and last I checked I did not live alone--so if he slips up, I put a "HONEY DO" list to remind him of the things I need him to do for me in that week or upcoming. It works well!

    #12 drtracy

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      Posted 20 April 2009 - 10:24 AM

      Originally Posted by Sapphire723
      OR, if your man is prone to cheesy video games like mine is, build a character for him on Chore Wars :: Claim Experience Points for Housework (and one for you too!). You get to log in when you do chores and it makes your player stronger. I use it to budget my spending cash. For every gold coin I "earn" in the game by doing housework, I get to spend ten cents on me for something I want but don't need. It's a lot easier to scoop cat poop when it "earns" you a mani-pedi!
      I am sooo stoked about this idea. To be honest my FI is good about cleaning and doing his own laundry and what not. The hardest thing is the bigger cleaning jobs, neither of us wants to scrub the toilet. Our daily chores are worked out but I really want to try this to see if we can get the bigger stuff done. Thanks for the website!

      #13 BillysBride

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        Posted 20 April 2009 - 10:54 AM

        Billy knows better than to say it out loud. lol..but then, he's pretty good about housework with a few BIG exceptions.

        He had the nerve to tell me one day last week (in answer to my asking him if he didn't think I'd like a break from dishes once in a while)..."I don't like doing dishes."

        I just looked at him and said "Oooh, ok. Well, why didn't you just say so? I mean, it's a good thing I LOVE them. I mean, THANK HEAVEN I have something to look forward to everyday!"

        http://i17.photobuck....inecollage.jpgThe Fab Four (my quads) Meryn, Kellen, Nico & Layla
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        #14 ~*Kathy*~

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          Posted 20 April 2009 - 11:43 AM

          lol awww Kelly! *hugs* I guess I'm on the luckier side of the spectrum. Since we've been living together for the past six years, DH has been really good at doing his part around the house most days. We kind of have an unspoken arrangement that he does the chores I hate (lawn mowing, shoveling snow, yard work, etc) and I do most of the inside chores (dishes, laundry, etc). However, just because I WASH his laundry doesn't mean I have to put it away for him, I don't feel that it is my responsibility. I'll usually give him back his clean clothes, folded in his basket for him to put away...but he never does it. Then he gets mad in the morning when he can't find something lol. I just tell him that hanging up and putting away HIS clothes is not my problem...he never argues back with me when I say that so I presume he's in agreement of that fact. :)

          Oh, I guess I should give credit where credit is due...some days I will come home from the gym, exhausted, and the entire kitchen is spotless. I agree, that is totally foreplay hahaha. That is one of the nicest things DH can do for me: clean my kitchen.

          #15 lakerbride

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            Posted 20 April 2009 - 11:48 AM

            This thread is hilarious! My issue is a little different but sort of the same- mine agrees he needs to kick in and help out but he likes to do it on his own time! Which never works for me of course! And the icing on the cake is my 17 year old son! I come home from working 12 hours in a busy emergency and there they are watching TV on the 52" HD Plasma, laughing their asses off and the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes with no dinner saved for me! HUH! I just stopped doing their laundry, my kid has to clean his own bathroom and at least once on my days off I don't make dinner or put the dishes in the dishwasher. The flip side is that my guy is a landscaper so I have do to absolutely nothing outside- and I appreciate that.

            #16 KLC77

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              Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:37 PM

              Ok, I'm so jealous that so many of you have FI's and DH's that help you even a little bit. I've got to get mine trained!

              Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/

              #17 Andi


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                Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:59 PM

                Originally Posted by KLC77
                At least its not just me. I swear, I've asked him for help folding laundry in the past and he gets all 4 year old on me and tells me he "doesn't know how". He thinks just cuz he's cute he can get away with anything!

                That is good advice~ I should stop doing things and when he runs out of clean clothes he'll have to do something.
                I cracked up when I read this! I did ask FI for help on laundry yesterday and he helped...but I literally had to re-fold EVERYTHING...I finally said "didn't your mom ever teach you how to fold laundry?"...nope she didn't so now apparently I have to teach my 4 year old FI how to fold clothes too!

                #18 hollisandsteph

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                  Posted 20 April 2009 - 01:14 PM

                  My husband is so hot and cold. He will go weeks where he is a huge help and then like a light switch when he is off, his butt is glued to the lazy boy! You turn him off and there is no moving him. That is when I quit helping doing the things he does...ie he takes care of the floors and takes out the trash and mows the lawn. When he is in his off mode, I still let stuff go without saying a word. It kills me but if I do it, there is no reason for him to do it, he won't. He will just let me take care of it. I learned that years ago. Then his off period lasts even longer. The good things is, he has OCD and cannot stand to see a mess too long so when he see's the trash bag outside of the trash can cause it is too full, he generally takes it out.
                  Last night I had to go out for a few hours I had a big surprise when I got home.. The dishwasher had been unloaded and reloaded. The kitchen was spotless and laundry had been put away with the washer loaded and ready to be started this morning. Also our 3 year old daughter was bathed and in her PJ's! I was impressed. I thought he wanted something but I was wrong..lol

                  #19 KLC77

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                    Posted 20 April 2009 - 01:25 PM

                    I just emailed my hubby this article. lol Hopefully it motivates him!

                    Do more housework, get better sex

                    Who knew cleaning could be such a turn-on? Men who do more housework may be having better sex because of it, according to US experts.

                    Women are happier with men who do more around the house and might be more willing to reward them sexually, said a report published on the website of the Council of Contemporary Families (CCF).

                    "When men do more of the housework, women's perceptions of fairness and marital satisfaction rise and the couple experience less marital conflict," the report claims.

                    The study shows that American men's contribution to housework has increased about 15 percent in the last 40 years.

                    "We sociologists generally don't go there, but therapists say there's a direct correlation" between men doing more housework and the frequency of sex," the report's co-author sociologist Scott Coltrane told a French news agency.

                    In a comment posted on the CCF website, psychologist Joshua Coleman agreed that sharing household chores "is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction - and sometimes more sex, too!"

                    "Wives report greater feelings of sexual interest and affection for husbands who participate in housework," Coleman added.

                    Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/

                    #20 deefalvey

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                      Posted 20 April 2009 - 01:31 PM

                      Kelly I feel ya...my FI grew up with 2 live in maids who did everything for thier family - cook, clean, laundry, etc. The only time I can get him to clean is when I get him REALLY REALLY pissed off (and then its kinda destructive cleaning - anything that is not his goes in the trash), or if he invites people over he will clean up the kitchen area.

                      We both work full time jobs and at the end of my day I go and pick his kids up from daycare, get the homework done and get dinner going before he even gets home. His job is super-stressful and mine is not and that is his justification for not being able to help out around the house - that he is physically and mentally wiped out by the time he gets home...

                      We live in a large house - 4400 square feet and there is A LOT of cleaning to do - 4 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms and 4 of us living there. When I had a meltdown at the end of one of his rants, guess what he told me to do...hire a housekeeper!

                      So I will say, I share your anger in this :)
                      Bill and DeannaJuly 24, 2009

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