I actually MARRIED an IDIOT!
Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:20 AM
Keep in mind that I am taking three college courses, working part time, I'm the sole person looking for our future home and I do all the household stuff. What does he do, you may ask? Well, he thinks the only thing he needs to accomplish each day is getting up for work every morning.
At first I was pretty pissed, but now I just find it laughable that he actually said that to me. I told him that I would be happy to have those things be my job, if it means that I can quit my actual job that I get paid to do and he would pay all of my expenses. Of course, he did not think that was a good idea.
Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:27 AM
I have lived with FI for 2.5 years now and we are just now getting to the point of him actually helping me with stuff! I really appreciate what he does do now and I can see him making an honest effort to help out with the household chores so that alone (the effort) is good enough for me!
He did irritate me today though as I was packing and getting everything ready to leave this week for Mexico...um...while I was doing EVERYTHING he was napping on the couch! I had to "kindly" ask for help so he did get up after about 20mins and helped me vacuum and fold laundry...sometimes they need reminders! I really think he would forget his head if it weren't attached!
Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:33 AM
That is good advice~ I should stop doing things and when he runs out of clean clothes he'll have to do something.
Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:35 AM
Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:44 AM
| Originally Posted by syl1115 |
I feel you. I work part-time, go to school full-time, take care of all bills, dr. appts, cleaning, dog, etc. and today DH said "don't worry about the trash, I'll get it". Well I went to work while he slept in and when I got home at 5, what do you think was still in the house? Not to mention that he still has not cut the grass because on the only nice day of the week, he had to ride his motorcycle for 15 hours! Then when he came home tonight, he had the NERVE to say, "what's for dinner?". I wanted to throw a leg of lamb at him! He seems to think that since I am not working fulltime, I am supposed to cook dinner everyday, clean the house and do all of the other stuff. I would give him credit for doing all of the laundry, but I am mad about him throwing everything in the dryer! Even after I tell him what not to put in there! Uggggggggg!
Posted 20 April 2009 - 04:25 AM
Man I wish I could remember the Oprah episode where they had the sex therapist on and they where explaining how woman see a man helping her around the house and him doing things around the house as our foreplay. And how our foreplay can last for days!!
Posted 20 April 2009 - 05:26 AM
You ladies are going to positively hate me for saying this but, my FI and I have lived together for just over 3 years now, and I never even have to ask him to help with dishes, laundry, etc. -- he just does it!
But, I should admit, Rome wasn't built in a day, either. When we first moved in together, even when we were just boyfriend/girlfriend, I noticed that the only time housework ever got done was when I would do it. So, I finally got fed up one day after cleaning for hours and he asked me why I seemed irritated. And I said to him (sorry if this is a little crass) "Hey, honey? Let me ask you something. Do you think I just love scrubbing toilets simply because I was born with a vagina and it's in my genetic makeup? And let me remind you, I am your girlfriend, not your mother or your live-in housemaid! Now, here's a thought -- get to work!"
After that, point taken! Maybe dish that one out whenever your man thinks it's "YOUR JOB" to take care of everything, simply because you are a woman and his wife! After all, you both live there and create the mess!
Hope that helps, or at least you a got a laugh!
Posted 20 April 2009 - 08:03 AM
Posted 20 April 2009 - 09:21 AM
While DH does do some of the housework, it's only when it is convenient for him! He will do laundry (a load of his sock, underwear, tshirts) which entails putting in washer, then dryer & then living out of the dryer! It might make it to a laundry basket, but that's about it. Occasionally he will fold if asked. It once got so bad that I would fold his clothes and put it in a basket. Once it sat there for a couple days I would empty it on the floor of our closet & leave it. He didn't want me putting his clothes away because he could never find anything. Our closet floor got so bad that I took everything & put it in garbage bags - there were 2 huge garbage bags of clothes!!! He eventually put it all away & so far it has been kept clean!
He doesn't do dishes or clean off the table right after we eat which drives me crazy!! He will do dishes, but only if he's not working that day - how the does he think they get done when I'M working?? He also thinks that because I have a desk job & he has to "work" for a living that it warrants not having to do things on work days. Then when he gets a day off he says "it's my day off & I just want to relax". Well Mr...when is anything supposed to get done??!!! And I know when he says I'll do it later then it will never get done!! Grrrrrr!!! Men....
I feel like I am being a nagging wife & I don't want to be - but if he would just do things when I first ask him I wouldn't have to nag!!! LOL
Well...that's my vent for today!!
Kelly...I suggest not doing things for him. Leave his laundry until he has nothing to wear! Or do the laundry since you are doing yours anyway, but don't fold it or put it away...put it in a g.bag in the closet. Or maybe do a list of chores to be done & divide them up between you. This may give him some guidance as a popular excuse is "I didn't know what you wanted done"! Good Luck...and hang in there girl - you'll get him trained yet!!! But it's a long battle...I'm still working on it!! lol
Posted 20 April 2009 - 09:46 AM
Apparently I'm pretty lucky. John and I switch on and off on the chores. Like I usually do the laundry and folding, but he'll help put it away. Or, I'll run the dishwasher more, but he vacuums, sweeps, and mops. I'll take the trash outside, but he'll bring it to the curb. I'll do more of the painting (or stenciling is our current project), but he'll mow the lawn.
And, occasionally if he's feeling up to it on his day off, he'll go into turbo clean mode where he cleans, washes, and puts away everything in his sight. Plus, if I ever felt wiped out from the day (when we first started dating I was going to school full time, working one job full-time and another job part-time... I soon quit my part time job, and I just now finished my master's... YAY!), he would take care of everything for me. He would either cook or pick up food.
I would sit your man down and talk about what he thinks is fair for each of you to be doing. If you spend an equal amount of time working and schooling as he does working, try to split up the chores equally based on who is better at what. If you spend more time, give him more chores. If you spend less time, take more chores.
OR, if your man is prone to cheesy video games like mine is, build a character for him on Chore Wars :: Claim Experience Points for Housework (and one for you too!). You get to log in when you do chores and it makes your player stronger. I use it to budget my spending cash. For every gold coin I "earn" in the game by doing housework, I get to spend ten cents on me for something I want but don't need. It's a lot easier to scoop cat poop when it "earns" you a mani-pedi!
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