16 replies to this topic

[*Heather*]

My FI and I were talking to another couple the other day, and the topic of “guys weekends” came up. I’m curious to know…does your guy go on a lot of “guy-only” weekends? Are you OK with it? It seems like every couple has a different idea of how many “guy trips” are acceptable…(and usually the guy wants more, and the girl wants less). I’m just curious to see what everyone thinks and how they handle this in their relationship (or if it’s even an issue at all).

[Pazoop]

My FI does lots of "guys only" trips, probably once every 2 months or so, and I'm fine with it...granted the majority of his friends are also in long term relationships, engaged, or married so I don't worry too much that he's going to be hanging around with a bunch of guys trying to pick up girls...I think for him it's about being able to bbq, drink beer, play poker, and "shoot the sh*t", as he puts it...I don't have too many girls weekends, but I have girls night almost every week and he's not invited and I love them and would hate it if he asked me not to go! We share so much of our lives together that it's nice to have a small piece left that just belongs to me...he knows all my friends anyway so it's nothing secretive, just independent.

I think it's important for both of us to have this now, before we have kids...I wouldn't be so ready to say, "Sure honey, take off for two days to be with the guys while I take care of the baby again..." and I doubt he'd be pleased if I told him once I week that I was off for a night of dinner and drinks with the girls! :-)

Is there something in particular though that worries you when he's off with his friends? Because I know this is a hard thing for a lot of people to sort out...

[*Heather*]

I'm not worried about him when he goes away places...it was just an interesting topic we were discussing, because we were talking about how my FI is going away about 5 times this year on a guys weekend, and the other couple was like "WHAT?!" The other guy was like "how come I don't get to go away that many times?!" and the girl looked furious. I think the other guy is allowed on like 1 guy trip per year...which kinda blew my mind. Since we discussed it I've noticed that different couples have different ideas of how they feel about guy weekends, so I just wanted to get some other perspectives....

[Kelly C]

I try to get my FI to do more things with his friends. He doesn't want to do things without me. isn't that cute! Puck! Really I'm fine with it. He is okay with me doing girls things he would never say not to, but I have a friend that is misbehaving right now and that makes him alittle uncomfortable. Witch I completely understand. So when I do things with her I try to involve him.

[LisaG]

My DH has been on one guys trip and that was for 2 days to go to a football game in Denver. They always talk about going, and try to plan one, but nothing ever happens.
He does however play golf whenever he wants and meets up with friends for drinks. He's a huge homebody and hates not being in his own bed, so I guess that's good for me.
As far as being o.k. with him going, it would depend on who he was with, where they were going and how much it was going to cost us
I do have girls night about once a month and I love them!! I always tell him to take advantage of mine and go out with his friends. Most of the time he just stays at home and uses it as his alone time.

[Celina]

Speaking of which, my FI just got back from a "guy only" weekend camping trip. I dont' mind if FI goes. I think he needs time with his guy friends and it gives me time with my girlfriends. We don't really have any single friends anymore. Most of our friends have kids, so when the guys are gone, the girls can hang out with the kids and let the kids play while we catch up on girl stuff. The guys he goes out with are all married and responsible and they aren't into strippers, girls and aren't getting into trouble. OH believe me, I know they look - but it never goes as far as that! I absolutely trust him.

He has went on long weekend trips to Vegas with his boys. It doesn't bother me. I think it is good for us to sometimes spend time apart. We recharge our batteries and are much nicer to eachother.

Some people may not agree with it, but to me it gives us each a little independence away from our daily lives with kids, work and everything else. When he got home yesterday he said this about one of the guys, "Geez, I'm glad I'm not___. He said when he get's home his wife is going to dump the kids on him and have a chore list for him like you wouldn't believe".

On a side note, IMHO - if you are going to agree to his/her weekends - you need to do it without making the other spouse feel guilty about it.

(Okay...I'll step down from my soap box now)!

[beachbride08]

Unfortunately, my FI works weekends when his friends are off so he doesn't get to hang out with them much anymore. I have encouraged him to have more guys nights out since I try to get out with the girls as much as I can. However, most of his friends are still single, and the others are just starting families so he is in the middle and doesn't have anyone else in the same spot as him. His single friends are the type that like to go out to dance clubs and strip clubs and he hates going to both (relief for me!). The married ones like to go out as couples so that doesn't really give him an opportunity to do a guys only outing. I think it is good for couple to do their own thing every now and then.

[ErinB]

I want my husband out of the house! LOL. I'm very independant and social, whereas he is a homebody and doesn't have many friends.

I think it is reall important for us to be able to function separately and pursue our own interests in addition to doing things together.

I also trust him completely, so I never worry where he is going. I honestly would worry more if he went to a casino (because we don''t have any extra money right now) than if he went to a strip club!

[Hartyt509]

Mine is hardly home so it can piss me off when he decides he'd rather go to some military show than spend 2 days at home lol i mean ffs does he not get enough of fecking military he's in it!! but then if he was home i'd want to kill him lol

I feel go away as much as you like as long as it doesn't cost me, and I can do it 2 lol

Remember just cause you are on a diet doesn't mean you can't look in the sweet shop window lmao I tell him and he goes yeah right whatever - i think i'm worse than him for that lmao

[Celina]

Harty - you always have a way with words LOLOL!!