Hey, Â I had a somewhat similar situation, but with a bridesmaid. My BM decided to tell me when the deadline approached for the flight deposit that she was thinking about going back to school so she couldn't commit. She still wanted to be in my wedding party, but would have to wait until September to find out if she could come....we are getting married in November....a few days later I told her that it stressed me out too much... that I wanted her there, but I couldn't chance waiting and then finding out shes not coming. I'm pretty OCD with needing equal numbers of BM/GM. And I told her that everyone knew she was my first choice, so I couldn't wait until September and then find out shes not coming and then ask someone else....they would know that they were my "backup person" and I didn't want that. She was sad, but totally understood and decided that since she couldn't commit she would just step down.... Â I know its a crappy situation, and either way will be difficult, but I hope this helps!