Hey Sam,
I am so sorry that you are going through this! Believe me i feel your pain! I really believe that if you don't go through things like this then it was not meant! Just like you I have been struggling and questioning if all that we are going through is worth it but at the end of each day, I know that it is. I know that you feel the same way. Try not to get too stressed out and just know that just like the other bumps in the road, you will make it over this one too.