dear dh,
this week has been fantastic. i'm glad you stopped being a whiny bitch. i'm still upset that when you started your new job, you didn't tell them about the days you couldn't be there, and now i'm stuck going to 1 1/2 weddings alone, and may end up on vacation alone!!! they can't say no when you're first hired, but now it's too late!!! and thank you for picking up your stuff this morning, but somehow our house is still a disaster, and i have an hour to get it clean, shower, get ready, get some snacks, get a wedding card and get to a wedding. your help is always appreciated, especially when i don't have to tell you that the toilet is gross in order to get you to clean it.
love,
your dw
dear self,
get your ass in the shower. you stink like chlorine and sweat.
from,
self