12 replies to this topic

[dgsjsu]

So I am having a hard time and a lot of frustration. I have a wedding party of 6 people, 2 are my FI's sisters and others are my friends from college years. I dont know what it is but I feel as though they dont want to help at all. I dont know why this is and dont understand, if they didnt want to be a part of it then why did they say that they would be honored to do this. Maybe I am just becoming a bridezilla (hopefully not this soon I still have roughly 7 months). Anyone else having this problem?
Also my FI doesnt seem to want to help at all in the planning.....I think he just feels that it is all going to get done what is the rush.
Sorry to vent but feel like I have no one else to turn to at this point.

[beachbride08]

Have you asked your wedding party to help with anything? Maybe they don't know what to do?

[MelissaH]

I can't help you with the bridal party thing because I only had my sister and I just forced her to do things whether she liked it or not

But DH was the same when it came to the planning...he did bugger all It's so frustrating...hang in there!

[StephanieMN]

I guess you really have to delegate things. I have sent out email saying I need help with this to my mom, MOH's and friend and usually within a day some has offered to help.

[-Kate-]

I think you should ask them if they will help. If they aren't married and haven't been in a wedding before, they might not know that they are supposed to help. Also, just start delegating jobs. If they don't do it, then you can talk to them about their role.

[boscobel]

I agree that maybe they don't know what to do? I know when I was a BM before, I was clueless and just waiting for direction...

[Yari]

I totally understand what you mean.Usually when I am pms'ing I feel like no one in my party cares about my wedding. I talked to my MOH about this and she said I was on crack and that everyone has busy lives (family, kids, work) and their lives can't revolve around my wedding. BUT they are super excited to help, but don't know what help is needed.

So my longwinded answer is I agree with everyone on this thread they are more than likely waiting for direction.

[foxytv]

I totally relate, except to say (surprisingly) that FH has been pretty willing to help with anything I have asked. He helped assemble the invites and wants to help me mae the starfish soaps for our OOT bags. Not a lot but more tha I expected.

That said -- my BM's SUCK as far as helping. My sister is stepping up and offering to help more than anyone else, which is amazing, but really I've been very disappointed in my MOH who is doing NOTHING at all (although she lives several states away, but she's not even making an effort to come to our bachelorette party). And my one local bridesmaid I wish I never even asked at this point -- reality has sunk in that we have been more party friends than actual friends.

So, I can totally relate. I doubt you are being bridezilla -- but someone said when I first joined the forum that no one will ever think this wedding is as important as we as brides make it out to be, which I totally agree with.

But even so, it's disheartening.

[Christine]

my BM's didn't know what to do and they were all to far away to do much anyway. I know its hard for brides to remember this but you are the only one who thinks about your wedding constantly. If you need help with something I would ask them, also they might not realize that anything needs to be done now, especially if none of them have been married before. I only had one married BM and she was the only one who asked what she could do, the others had no clue at all.

[amandalovesryan]

My sis is my MOH and my bro's wife is a BM. My FSIL is also a BM, she is doing nothing. My sis keeps emailing her and calling her to see if she wants to help plan the shower but she only replied once. I was just talking about this to my mom today. It makes me mad because she is one of my best friends. I realize that she lives in CA and I live in PA but come one,you can type just as well as I can. Or pick up the phone. Anyway, I hear ya but at least my sis and my mom and my bro's wife are really into helping which rocks!