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Early RSVP and deposits

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#1 terrihugg

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    Posted 31 August 2012 - 02:13 PM

    We are getting married on April 22, 2013. We sent out email save the dates telling everyone the date, location, and asking people who think they are going to make a $25 pp deposit to the travel agent by August 20th. Towards the end of July I sent another reminder email to everyone just saying that tentative RSVP date is rapidly approaching and if you plan on getting in on group rates send in your deposit by August 20th. 

    We still plan on sending out formal inventations some time in December. 
    Well even though we've had a few people tell us they're coming through word of mouth, I've just been informed by the travel agent that only my immediate family and four other friends have submitted their depositis right now. This makes me worried because we need to have a certain amount of people staying at the hotel in order to have the group rate. And the first deposit date passed more than a week ago.
    I"m wondering if and how I should follow up with the other people I sent the save the dates to see if they are coming or plan on staying at the hotel. The reason why I don't know if I should is because I don't wantt to assume they were planning on staying at the hotel we choose and it's still early considering the wedding is in April 2013. 
    So should I call those people to see what they're plans are or if they are staying at the hotel we chose? How should I say it?

    #2 Tulumbride2013

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      Posted 01 September 2012 - 12:52 PM

      I had sent actual invitations, and each invitation had a flyer inside that clearly read the deposit book by date, then also had RSVP cards with a date close to the TA book by date. I went through the same thing you did, how to tactfully say ummmm are you coming or what?!? Call them and chat, and coy fully mention the wedding, thats what I did. Or you could send another email, and make it look like a mass email, and say thanks to all the ppl that booked, here's the resort info, whatever, and if you haven't booked yet here is the TA s number... Sorry I can't be more helpful!

      #3 agm04

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        Posted 04 September 2012 - 01:59 PM

        This is hard.  I think I'd just try to ask on an individual basis rather than sending out something formal, but that's just me.  Starting with the people I'm closest with.  People don't understand that this stuff needs to be booked ASAP.  Even FI's parents seem to think we have until March to book for our June wedding...even though our room block is only held until March 22.  That means it's a DEADLINE not a time to start thinking about it!  It's tough for those of us who are turbo on top of deadlines.  Good luck!

        #4 Ryves

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          Posted 05 September 2012 - 01:37 PM

          I can relate. Be sure to all set deadlines at least one week ahead.

          #5 DestinationGirl

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            Posted 13 September 2012 - 08:39 AM

            My fiance and I faced an issue with the early RSVP deadline and deposit. We are getting married in May 2013 and have already had to make sure that our families and bridal party has booked. They had to put down their deposit by end of August and the full payment is due mid-October. I know its a lot of pressure on our guests - but because we picked such a popular resort, we had to do that in order to ensure that there would be a spot on the flight/hotel. We already have 30 people booked and will most likely haev another 10-15 people book later on, subject to availability of course.

            #6 JennyBenz

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              Posted 14 September 2012 - 08:56 AM

              Hi ladies! This is what I'm worried about as well. Our RSVP date on the invitations will be in January [our wedding is in May]. But, the actual deadline to book by is March 1st.  I'm surprised they asked for such an early RSVP confirmation! I've heard this from a few brides already, and still not sure as to why the TA does this! Anyways, it's your wedding & you've sent something with an RSVP- Therefore, I think it's a bit rude to not do so by the date provided. I sent out STD's with a "tentative" RSVP until the invitations go out, and we maybe received 7 replies from the 170 we sent! Ugh. I'm sure budget/work/other obligations are keeping your guests from making a  commitment, but if there's a deadline, they need to try to adhere to that. It also puts you in limbo b/c things need to get done & you probably need those totals for many reasons! I don't' think you need to be vague or coy about mentioning the topic to those who didn't give a formal answer. I've learned, many family members & older invitees are not as tech-savvy as the younger crowd [for obvious reasons lol]. So, instead of emailing again, perhaps give them a friendly call or even mail out a "final chance" to reserve. You don't have to be rude about it, just call and say "We noticed we didn't receive the RSVP from you. We do need this in order to save you a room, will you be attending?" Or send out a letter via snail mail as a "reminder" to book and give them an extension.

              Lastly, I'd ask your TA if it's possible for an actual extension, although your guests don't have to know that [it'll allow them more time to procrastinate]


              hope this helps, good luck! 

              #7 mrsnova

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              • 280 posts

                Posted 15 September 2012 - 07:16 AM

                I agree that speaking to people in person is the best way to get a quick answer. For us when we started thinking about a Mexico wedding we talked with our close friends and family and determined who would possibly be able to come. I think everyone runs into people saying they will come, then never booking though!. We sent save the dates in the beginning of July (wedding March 1st, 2013) and heard verbal yes or no's from some people. Invitations will go out in October with RSVP date of December 1st. 


                So far we have 18 people booked (mostly family and a couple friends). Most of our wedding party hasn't even booked:). It is hard to just let it be and understand that some people are procrastinators lol...but then it makes it hard with the RSVP date for the guest prices for the hotel. I guess all you can do is tell people they will get the best price this way and if they choose not to then what can you do :/. Good luck!

                Married to the man of my dreams 3.1.13!!
                wedding website: http://kaelaandjoel.ourwedding.com/
                planning thread: http://www.bestdesti...g-thread-3-1-13

                #8 Cherina

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                  Posted 05 October 2012 - 10:54 PM

                  This makes me nervous because my fam tends to sit on things but 50% must be paid 6 mo in advance so i will keeps fingers crossed and sending a prayer

                  2.14.14 I can not wait to marry my very best friend ... Again!

                  #9 terrihugg

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                    Posted 07 October 2012 - 12:06 PM

                    Thanks for all the feedback. Unfortunately, after following up with people almost no one is coming now including my two maids of honor. Now i'm worried about even having enough for the group rate... 

                    #10 Tulumbride2013

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                      Posted 07 October 2012 - 01:12 PM

                      See..we did things a bit diff. We verbally told ppl about the wedding 16 months out, and how it would work. Our travel agent did $150 down, balance due 3 months prior to trip. Stds went out in march, with info that once the invites went out ppl had 1 month to RSVP and book(as the promo we got was only good until aug 15, but air prices didn't come out till June ) so our guests new way ahead of time that upon receiving their invite, they have 1 month to book to get the promo. We have 22 ppl going. I think there may still be a handful of ppl that are still going to book, but their prices are $100 higher and still rising with airfare.

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