He wants out...
Posted 17 June 2010 - 06:38 PM
Posted 05 July 2010 - 03:50 AM
Posted 05 July 2010 - 09:16 AM
Posted 05 July 2010 - 01:31 PM
Im really sorry. I can only imagine how this is hurting you both.
I hope it all works out.
Posted 05 July 2010 - 01:43 PM
Posted 05 July 2010 - 03:26 PM
if not, then he has no plans to marry you. i don't want to sound harsh, but if he really hasn't said those words then you guys might not be getting married.
i did a lot of looking around and watching bridal shows and all that WAY before my FI asked me to marry him. but none of that mattered because the wedding wasn't happening if he didn't ask me
so i waited and waited until he was ready
we went through a situation when he didn't have work and it was HARD!!!!! we weren't engaged then, but it was still tough on us. men just don't feel like men without a job.
i'm sorry you are going through this and i know it must be hard, but he is in no position to be married. if you guys get married as planned, the issue about the job is just going to fester and become a negative in the marriage.
it's good you guys are going to counseling. . . hope it all works out for you
Posted 05 July 2010 - 03:29 PM
But if he hasn't asked you to marry him, why are you sending out invitations?
Posted 05 July 2010 - 03:55 PM
June 11th, 2011
EPM! Are you ready for us?
Posted 06 July 2010 - 05:17 PM
@BlkRevPower, (and all others wondering) yes, he did ask me to marry him. While it wasn't an all out fabulous proposal, he did ask. The ring just never came due to family and personal issues, and ultimately loss of job. I would have never sent out invitations/planning without him asking. I never wanted a wedding in the first place, I was content with going to the court. But he didn't want to exclude his family b/c they are big on celebrating huge events together so we compromised on the DW, which he was extremely excited about.
We have been doing MUCH better. He will actually be starting a temp job next week and has gone back to school to keep his mind occupied. He is also really good at golf, so he has picked it back up as well. We have both been better although postponing is still not off the table. While planning has come to a halt, we have gotten a lot financial offers to help pull this off in the financial aspect. We are actually going to make a final decision this week whether to wait or not. We decided not to rush to make a decision about the actual DW, but to think about whats best for us individually and as a family. I have been going on his lead and he has been the one saying don't postpone....but I'm waiting just to be sure. Him keeping busy has definitely been huge.
All in all things are looking up in a lot of ways and we have learned to lean on each other by communicating a lot more and the realization that we are really all we have. In the recent weeks we have spent a lot more time alone, sometimes up talking til 4am.
One thing I probably haven't mentioned before is that we do have a son together. Solidifying our union is crucial to us as a family. So either way we are looking at getting married in the near future, even if its just through the court. The actual DW is a separate issue.
According to him, he really needed some assurance that I am supporting him emotionally and not going to leave him through this. He's also needed some positive reinforcement regarding the things he DOES and me not focusing on what he DOESN'T do. That was a huge revelation for me. Although I would never wish this on anyone, this is truly something I think has caused us to focus more on each other.
Thanks for the support and asking how I am!
Posted 07 July 2010 - 07:36 AM
When it comes down to it, you two want to marry each other and it shouldn't matter if its @ the courthouse, in your backyard or the living room. The DW is icing on the cake, but you can make magic happen anywhere you choose. Seems like you all have the support of family and that is oh so important. Continue to grow and love one another. It will all work itself out!
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