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The First Family Fight...Children at the Wedding

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenandBrendanWedding View Post
Basically it all boils down to the kind of wedding you want. Some people don't mind having kids at their wedding, and that's fine. I personally didn't invite any because I don't want them there. Bottom line - kids definitely cause a distraction and honestly, the day isn't about them. I know my friends and family would end up spending all their time watching their kids instead of having fun with us. I'm sure that sounds selfish, but it is my day afterall, right?
Wow, I 100% disagree. It's a day about family and love. If you want an adults only wedding that's fine, I'm just surprised at your reaction, I guess. If I wanted an adults only wedding, it'd be to make it an intimate affair... I wouldn't be concerned about people being distracted from me!

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Nini_Bride - i couldn't agree with you more...the day and experience is about love and sharing and community - that is why you are inviting people - to share in your joy and happiness not to be 100% available to you and only focused on you. I feel sad that some brides use the "it's my day" line to mask what is usually totally unacceptable and selfish behavior to impose on 'friends and family'

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At the end of the day we all must make the choices that are right for us. I hope your day is all you want it to be. Kudo's for your honesty with people, I really hope it is smooth sailing from here on in for you.

 

Kelly~

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.B 2008 View Post
Nini_Bride - i couldn't agree with you more...the day and experience is about love and sharing and community - that is why you are inviting people - to share in your joy and happiness not to be 100% available to you and only focused on you. I feel sad that some brides use the "it's my day" line to mask what is usually totally unacceptable and selfish behavior to impose on 'friends and family'

I don't see how it's "usually totally unacceptable and selfish behavior to impose on friends and family"..
If you were having an evening cocktail party.. at anytime.. a holiday, a Saturday.. whenever. Would it be unacceptable not to want children running around when adults are indulging, possibly over indulging in alcohol?
And for any bride who has a plan in her head for what she wants on her special day.. I think it's unfar to call that sad.
I agree the day is about love and sharing with family and friends.. But for us.. the point of a DW was not to make it about community.. but an intimate affair.

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i hear you - just my opinion - nothing personal. i am grateful that someone would spend their money / vacation days / etc. traveling around the world to even want to come to my wedding. some brides do have a vision and that it that - if the guests aren't ok with it - at the end of the day it is up to them not to accomodate.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaboDate View Post
I don't see how it's "usually totally unacceptable and selfish behavior to impose on friends and family"..

If you were having an evening cocktail party.. at anytime.. a holiday, a Saturday.. whenever. Would it be unacceptable not to want children running around when adults are indulging, possibly over indulging in alcohol?

And for any bride who has a plan in her head for what she wants on her special day.. I think it's unfar to call that sad.

I agree the day is about love and sharing with family and friends.. But for us.. the point of a DW was not to make it about community.. but an intimate affair.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenandBrendanWedding View Post
Basically it all boils down to the kind of wedding you want. Some people don't mind having kids at their wedding, and that's fine. I personally didn't invite any because I don't want them there. Bottom line - kids definitely cause a distraction and honestly, the day isn't about them. I know my friends and family would end up spending all their time watching their kids instead of having fun with us. I'm sure that sounds selfish, but it is my day afterall, right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nini_Bride View Post
Wow, I 100% disagree. It's a day about family and love. If you want an adults only wedding that's fine, I'm just surprised at your reaction, I guess. If I wanted an adults only wedding, it'd be to make it an intimate affair... I wouldn't be concerned about people being distracted from me!
i have to agree with courtney on this one...we had a bunch of kids and they were fun to have at the reception and dancing around. the did not disrupt anything and it was made clear that if one of the kids did act up, they were to be taken away from the ceremony/reception but it never came to that.

if you are going to make it an "adults only event" please do not be disappointed if your friends opt not to travel hundreds of miles to attend your wedding than leave their children at home...

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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenandBrendanWedding View Post
Honestly, I don't understand why people get upset over stuff like this. For crying out loud, this is a wedding, not a BBQ. It's about the bride and groom - not about Aunt Jane being able to bring her kids. Get over it!

And if someone is actully going to cause a fight over something like that, then they're completely being selfish. Who wants them there anyway if they're not putting the bride and groom's wishes first.

Honestly, how much have you ever asked of these people? They can't do this one thing for you. Stick to your decision and don't feel bad about it at all.
I AGREE! It is completely up to the couple, not the guests!

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I can undestand that if the family is all leaving the kids behind, then you wouldn't want other people bringing theirs. I do think kids get a bad rap, for the most part they are better behaved then most people give them credit. I do agree that you most likely wouldn't notice a couple of little kids running around, and believe me nothing would ever take away from the attention the bride will get, after all everyone loves a bride.

 

I guess what everyone is saying is you won't even notice the kids, but you may notice if the parents of the kids can't come. Only you however can decide what is most important to you on your wedding day.

 

Good luck~

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I'm excited to have kids at my wedding! Children are fearless; they're the first to get up and dance when everyone else is still wondering what everyone else is going to do... they're not afraid of a challenge... ie, my uncle's wedding last weekend, they had trivia instead of clinking of the glasses for a kiss - well the kids went up right away and took that trivia on! Kids'll get the party started!! So, in that way I guess they can steal the spotlight - but I'm totally ok with it!

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I'm sorry to laugh but this topic reminded me of the episode on Sex & The City when Carrie goes to the babyshower and has to take her shoes off and then at the end of the babyshower the shoes are gone. Anyways the whole episode was a debate about people with kids vs. single women who don't have children. For some reason this reminded me of it. I guess my point is there are some women who love the little ones at their wedding and there are some women who heart seeing only guests that can wear Manolo's. Personally I heart both the muchkins and the manolo's!

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