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How to deal when girlfriends becoming pregnant and can't come to my wedding!


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#11 svetayasofiya

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    Posted 03 December 2009 - 08:29 PM

    How far in advance did you plan your wedding? Just curious if all these pregnancies came as surprises after planning / booking was done. In any event, like the others said... there is always going to be something preventing someone you love from coming. That's the name of the game with DW's and you have to be able to accept that. I have had dissapointments along the road planning my wedding and the fact is while our guests are genuinely happy to be coming it's not something they think about 24/7 like us. For most, I really think it is just a good excuse for a vacation.
    Try to think about how darn excited they must be starting a family, or adding on to an existing family. Be happy for you and be happy for them. I don't think any of us really has the right to be upset that someone got pregnant.
    I can't wait to get pregnant and I am certainly not going to be thinking about other peoples plans/schedules when the time is right for my FH and I.

    #12 Jo 2010

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      Posted 03 December 2009 - 08:45 PM

      My sister has just told me that they are going to start trying again three months before the wedding.

      I wish they would put it back by just a month or two, considering they have had two years notice of my wedding date.

      I know she wont be very far allong, but in her last pregnancy she went from a c cup to g cup in the first 6 weeks and had a bump at three months. A bump will be totally accomodated by the dress, but if her boobs get massive again, then the dress will be a disaster...

      I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it! and I just keep thinking about a beautiful new baby in the family, rather than the dissapointment of either my sister not being by my side, or her buying a different dress for her (which would be easier if she was my MOH, but she's not) and not having everything look the way I had imagined...

      #13 FutureMsMoulton

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        Posted 03 December 2009 - 09:28 PM

        I had a bridesmaid get pregnant due the day of the wedding (Ironically her sister got pregnant and I had to me fill in maid of honor at her wedding because her sister delivered that day!) then one of our groomsmen's wife is due 2 days after our wedding so they won't be making it.

        My best friend informed me last week that she can't make it because she won't be able to bring her 5 month old the pediatrican won't let her so she can't come.

        Its going to be weird without them all, but my day is going on without them. Things come up and I am guessing someday I'll have to say sorry I can't to one of my friends because I am in the same situation.

        I know it sucks, but try not to let it ruin your wedding.

        #14 Erika J

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          Posted 03 December 2009 - 10:14 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by *Nadine*
          yep like some of the other girls said, just because we get married it doesnt mean life stops for other people. And although our weddings are important, starting a family is usulaly more important than that. I was sad when one of my best friends/bmaids got pregnant and now isnt coming to our wedding -b/c I would personally put off getting pregnant if it meant missing her wedding-but we are all different with our priorities and we have to understand that.
          AND thats the choice/risk we take when we plan a Destination wedding..
          It will be ok and your day will STILL be beautiful no matter what!
          Ditto!

          Well said!

          #15 hat0112

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            Posted 04 December 2009 - 12:41 AM

            Wow, that is a lot of pregnant people! I agree with everyone and that people always something going on so I would only change your date if that is what you and your FI want. No matter what it will still be a great day!
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            #16 FutureMrsTO

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              Posted 04 December 2009 - 01:03 AM

              I am so sorry to hear this is happening to you but when i read the post i was like omg! literally two days ago my matron of honor told me she was pregnant and is scheduled to deliver at the end of August. She wont be able to attend. Her son (my god child) was supposed to be a ring bearer also. I am so sad that they wont be there. We have been friends for 15 years. But what mrsrhbtobe said hit home. life is unpredictable and we will have the rest of our married lives to spend and include each other....but im still considering a live internet feed somehow...LOL i'll keep you posted.
              GL

              #17 classadiva

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                Posted 04 December 2009 - 01:35 AM

                Yep...I'm in the same boat. Babies are popping up EVERYWHERE!! LOL Two weeks ago I got hit with a double whammy. I'm having a small bridal party...1 MOH and three bridesmaids. Well... one of my bridesmaids just found out that she is 3 1/2 months pregnant...she will be 44 next week and has a 19 year old in college!!! Can't say I saw that one coming!! She started a new job recently and only gets 6 weeks vacation and the baby is due at the end of May...not looking good for her coming to the wedding. I told her that if she gets the time off, don't worry about being a bridesmaid...I would be happy to just have her there. Chances are...she will not be there though.

                Next..my very best male friend tells us that his girlfriend has had a happy accident...yep..she's 7 weeks pregnant!! They both say that he will be there no matter what...but come on...the baby is due at the end of June..WHAT are the chances that he is going to leave his newborn and the mother of his baby the week after she gives birth?

                Again...of course I understand, but I was really sad about the fact that it is unlikely that two people very close to me will very likely not be at my wedding. I'm still a little sad about it.

                IMHO...don't change the date. Even if you do, having a newborn is a lot and anything can happen. They can't likley commit to being there even with the new date. Many new parents are just so very nervous about their new bundle of jo...not to mention...exhausted. It's terrible...and we will miss them...but it is what it is.

                #18 bholthof

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                  Posted 04 December 2009 - 12:51 PM

                  You know what I don't get?? I don't understand why having an infant or being pregnant would cause people to not go??

                  Ok - if you're due on or near the wedding - yes that makes sense. Or if you JUST had the baby right before the wedding - like a month or so within the wedding date.

                  But people who are only a few months prego can still fly... and can still go on vacation. Same with people with small infants. Most family friendly hotels will still accomodate infants. My SIL will be bringing her 5 month old.

                  Its like some people will use any excuse, you know??
                  (Again, this statement doesn't apply to people with difficult pregnancies, or who literally JUST had a child, or are due on or around the wedding date. Obviously, they can't travel. Its just teh ones who use it as an excuse not to travel that get me.)
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                  #19 dolfinluck

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                    Posted 04 December 2009 - 05:05 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by bholthof
                    You know what I don't get?? I don't understand why having an infant or being pregnant would cause people to not go??

                    Ok - if you're due on or near the wedding - yes that makes sense. Or if you JUST had the baby right before the wedding - like a month or so within the wedding date.

                    But people who are only a few months prego can still fly... and can still go on vacation. Same with people with small infants. Most family friendly hotels will still accomodate infants. My SIL will be bringing her 5 month old.

                    Its like some people will use any excuse, you know??
                    (Again, this statement doesn't apply to people with difficult pregnancies, or who literally JUST had a child, or are due on or around the wedding date. Obviously, they can't travel. Its just teh ones who use it as an excuse not to travel that get me.)
                    I completely understand! FBIL's girlfriend (of less than a year) is due two months before the wedding and they are not coming because of it! I dont understand it, its your brother and your not coming! the girlfriend's mom could watch the baby.

                    #20 Alyssa

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                      Posted 04 December 2009 - 07:36 PM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by bholthof
                      You know what I don't get?? I don't understand why having an infant or being pregnant would cause people to not go??
                      seriously? there are SO MANY reasons i honestly can't believe you can't understand / empathize with other people's decisions.

                      Ok - if you're due on or near the wedding - yes that makes sense. Or if you JUST had the baby right before the wedding - like a month or so within the wedding date.

                      But people who are only a few months prego can still fly... and can still go on vacation. Same with people with small infants. Most family friendly hotels will still accomodate infants. My SIL will be bringing her 5 month old.

                      Its like some people will use any excuse, you know??
                      (Again, this statement doesn't apply to people with difficult pregnancies, or who literally JUST had a child, or are due on or around the wedding date. Obviously, they can't travel. Its just teh ones who use it as an excuse not to travel that get me.)
                      first off have you ever considered that having a baby significantly impacts your finances? and that right before or after giving birth might not be the best time to drop a couple thousand dollars on a vacation? hello!

                      now if you are paying for their trip then i get it but if not this conversation is so beyond ridiculous i can barely stand it.

                      in additon, having a child not only changes your body but your hormones and mind and some people need to adjust to that HUGE life change.

                      also, some people only get a couple of weeks / months off for maternity leave and may want to spend that first couple months of their new child's life aclimating and preparing for going back to work.

                      ok there are so many other reasons but the biggest reason is that our weddings our not other people's #1 priority. it is so self centered to "expect" that others will think our weddings are as important as we do.

                      i obviously had a DW and at that time 2 of the people in our wedding party got pregnant. My DH and I were so happy for them and never felt like they were using an "excuse" - ummm yeah they were living their OWN lives - that doesn't mean that they weren't happy for us or trying to ruin our wedding.

                      ok last thing - there are like 30 threads about this already.




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