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How to deal when girlfriends becoming pregnant and can't come to my wedding!


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#1 Sycamore Tree

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    Posted 03 December 2009 - 04:36 PM

    I have a very close girlfriend who is giving birth two weeks before our wedding and a sister-in-law having her baby 1 month after the wedding. Big Sigh. I can't imagine my brother, his wife and my very close couple friends not coming to my wedding.

    Also, one friend can't come because his wife is delivering the day before our wedding. Lastly, our best man replied him and his wife may be getting pregnant soon.

    #2 Alyssa

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      Posted 03 December 2009 - 04:53 PM

      i am moving this thread to the appropriate sub-forum. please re-read the FAQ (in my siggy) and reivew "where to post"
      thanks,
      alyssa

      #3 tiffandmarv

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        Posted 03 December 2009 - 04:59 PM

        Wow that is a lot of pregnant people! My best friend told me she was pregnant after I had booked my wedding for May 2010 (she is due late April 2010). Because I was still very early in my planning process, I decided I wanted her there enough that I changed my weddind date (pushed it back by 2 months, which my FI was not at all thrilled about). My friend sounded very grateful at first but now I am getting little comments from her that she may not be coming afterall because of the new baby.

        So the moral of the story is, 1) you have to decide how much you want these people at your wedding it may be enough to change your date, but remember 2) people ALWAYS have stuff going on so you ultimately have to do what works best for you and your FI.
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        #4 LadyTrunck

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          Posted 03 December 2009 - 05:35 PM

          Totally agree with Tiffandmarv. Is it worth moving your day?

          STD's sent out, resort and flights booked, and FI's sister (she's also my friend!) just found out that she is due a week before our wedding. It is her 3rd, so her plan is to be induced if she is late, and bring the baby down. Am I happy she's coming? of course. Do I think it's a good idea? Well, not my life or place to judge.....

          Best of luck! I finally had a moment when I realized that my wedding is my day, and it is most important to me and FI. Other people may care, but they cannot/will not place their lives on hold for my day. Same goes with how much they pay attention to details, effort, etc. It just isn't AS big of a deal to other people! That way of thinking has gotten me through a lot of stress!
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          #5 snoopAsh

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            Posted 03 December 2009 - 05:46 PM

            ooo honey! I know how you feel. Two of my BRIDESMAIDS got prego! I was upset at first, but everything is okay now. And truct me, they wish that they could come and hate the fact that they cant.

            Hang in there, it will be okay.
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            #6 Outdoor_girl1010

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              Posted 03 December 2009 - 06:21 PM

              Just make sure that if you do move your wedding date that they are going to be able to come. I'm not sure that I would move my date for the fact that I would be unsure if they were going to be able to come because of the new baby.
              Cory & Jennifer
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              #7 mrsrhbtobe

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                Posted 03 December 2009 - 06:34 PM

                Bless your heart! I imagine Babygate 2010 is causing you some serious stress about your wedding and whether to move your date. My advice would be this: the beauty of life is that it's unpredictable, and all that we can truly control is ourselves. While I know you really want these people at your wedding because they're so special to you and your FI, I know they will be with you "in spirit". What's most important is that you and your FI are vowing to celebrate each other and you're starting off your married life as you wanted, on the beach:) So try to take a deep breath, know that it will be all right in the end, and be genuinely happy for your super fertile friends Their pregnancies are probably just as important to them as your wedding is to you. Life just happens, and so do your best to work with what comes your way. Best of luck.
                Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.

                #8 dj1234

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                  Posted 03 December 2009 - 06:49 PM

                  I know how you feel! I had asked a gf of mine to be a BM and she called me about a month later to let me know she is prgnant and due exactly one month before the wedding, we both cried at the thought of not being with each other on the big day!

                  You have to rember though, and I had to remind myself, that this wedding is about you and your FI! Even though she won't be there to stand next to me, she will be there, standing next to me in life... I have made her a part of the daily wedding activities and kept her in the loop and she's helping me plan. We are both having fun with the parts that she is able to participate in and she's even coming to the bachelorette (but getting her own room )

                  I guess what I am saying is that there will be many momnets in life that they are able to share with you, and it's dissappointing you won't have them by your side on the big day, they will be thinking of you!!

                  #9 RonNMel

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                    Posted 03 December 2009 - 07:37 PM

                    I know how you feel! After we started telling people that we plan on getting married in spring 2011, we got lots of people asking us why not do it in 2010? Those people would tell us they'd be available next spring, but not the one after due to planning on getting pregnants, school, and other such stuff. But if we change it to spring 2010, we know for sure other couples won't be able to come for the exact same reason!! Same thing with trying to move the date to other times of the year. There is always something preventing someone from coming. Like others above me have said, at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you and your FI. It is your day, not anybody else's.

                    We knew when we decided on a destination wedding that probably not many people would come. We accepted that fact, and decided that what was most important to us was the two of us getting married in paradise, even if we end up going just the two of us. Of course we'd love if others could join us, but it's not our priority. We've both been married before and done the whole big thing with friends and family, so this time we want to focus on us and our dreams.

                    Instead of focusing on who cannot come, focus on the ones who DO join you. Have fun with those people, and bring back lots of memories and stories for the others. :)

                    #10 *Nadine*

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                      Posted 03 December 2009 - 07:47 PM

                      yep like some of the other girls said, just because we get married it doesnt mean life stops for other people. And although our weddings are important, starting a family is usulaly more important than that. I was sad when one of my best friends/bmaids got pregnant and now isnt coming to our wedding -b/c I would personally put off getting pregnant if it meant missing her wedding-but we are all different with our priorities and we have to understand that.
                      AND thats the choice/risk we take when we plan a Destination wedding..
                      It will be ok and your day will STILL be beautiful no matter what!




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