Posted 12 November 2009 - 10:54 PM
Until now. My mom has insisted on having a reception when we get home. I have been supportive so far and it will be nice to have some other family around to celebrate. However there seems to be an emerging alternative motive to her party planning and it's kind of frustrating me.
The background-many of you know I lost my grandfather shortly after my engagement was announced and having the excitement of wedding planning overshadowed by the grief of losing someone I was so close to really took the fun out of most of my planning. The loss was also hard on my mom who was executor of his estate. As part of that process we had to sell his home and go through his possessions. At that time her siblings came and put aside some items for sentimental reasons.
So now as she's planning the reception she sends out this email to everyone in her family asking if they would like to go through his things while they're in town for the reception.
Ok so far.
"I was wondering, how would everyone feel about a second gathering to go through Dad's things and get them distributed? The area that we are considering renting is available to us the entire day, and I had the idea that maybe one of the side rooms could be made available to bring Dad's stuff for our family to go through either before or after the reception? It would put everything in one place, and accessible during one day."
Does this really have to happen at the venue we're renting for my reception?? I loved my grandfather more than I can even begin to say but having his items around will make me cry, especially if family is all around discussing it. Even if we go through it "before and after". I guess I need a couple more degrees of separation between these two events. And what about out other guests that aren't related to my grandfather? Would that be weird for them?
I appreciate my mom wanting to try and combine the trip for the out of town family but at the same place on the same day? I would be totally ok if they wanted to have a gathering somewhere else or a different day but not at my reception.
However, she's the one throwing this so I feel kind of stuck telling her what she can and can't do.
I just really miss my grandfather and it makes me sad when I think about him. Having all of his things in the next room while I'm supposed to be celebrating will be tough. I'm at the point where I don't really want to have a reception at all.
Posted 13 November 2009 - 03:52 PM
Posted 13 November 2009 - 05:03 PM
Posted 17 November 2009 - 10:28 PM
Posted 18 November 2009 - 12:24 AM
Posted 18 November 2009 - 01:16 AM
Posted 18 November 2009 - 09:48 AM
Posted 18 November 2009 - 06:29 PM
Maybe someone could set up an open-house in his former home, or at someone else's, the day after your reception or another time. I personally don't like the idea of having it the same weekend, but certainly not in the same day! It's bound to be an emotional experience and for those invited to the reception that aren't family, having that go on during the reception or at the reception hall will just be weird & uncomfortable.
Regardless of who's paying for / hosting this reception, it is a celebration of you & your husband and you should have a say in what goes on during it. I hope you're able to talk with your mom about this & explain how you feel.
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