Mom gave me an ultimatum to come to MY wedding!?!
Posted 27 October 2009 - 03:12 PM
Anyway....over the last few months the comments have gotten nastier and nastier (to the point of being verbally abusive) and I finally told her last week that I really didn't want her at the wedding. I just don't want her to ruin MY day..she's already ruined my engagement which is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life. She is the type of woman that CANNOT keep her peace and just let things go or state her opinion once and MOVE ON!
So after I told her that I didn't want here there she booked her tickets to come but decided she had to send me a list of "ultimatums for her to be there". She refuses to participate in the wedding in any way and the main item...she is to be allowed to say whatever she likes while she is there because it is rude for me not to listen. I want to respond and tell her that I really don't want her to be there especially with her ultimatums. I don't want her there BECAUSE she will say something nasty and ruin the day. I've seen her do it a countless number of times in other situations...so I'm not going to fool myself and "hope" that she just keeps her negativity to herself.
I need help...what should I do?!?
Posted 27 October 2009 - 03:19 PM
Posted 27 October 2009 - 03:20 PM
Posted 27 October 2009 - 03:21 PM
I guess the problem with her coming is that you can not stop her from coming to your wedding. But you are going to have to pretend like she doesnt even exist, try really hard not to let it bother you. Ignore what she says, in one ear and out the other. Dont let anything ruin your day just think about you and your FI and where you are.. in paradise and your special day and how much you two love eachother and nothing can stop that or ruin it! Keep your head up! and like I said give her nothing to go off of. Just say "Ok"
Posted 27 October 2009 - 03:23 PM
Posted 27 October 2009 - 03:40 PM
Posted 27 October 2009 - 04:19 PM
Posted 27 October 2009 - 04:31 PM
I just don't understand it. I have also had some issues with my family as a result of my wedding, and I can't believe how dramatic it can get sometimes. I guess I didn't really believe that weddings can bring out the worst in people, but it seems to be true.
I just keep remembering what everyone tells me - and that is, this day is about you and your wedding, and that is all that matters. I know it is so hard, because family sure does know how to get to you....but that is what we need to focus on!
Posted 27 October 2009 - 04:36 PM
One other note, I would enlist the help of someone who will be there (an aunt/cousin/friend/someone... maybe your Dad?) to keep her in line, and away from (far, far away!) you on your wedding day if she won't behave. And don't hesitate to tell your WC that if she gets out of line, approaches a microphone or otherwise appears like she might make a scene, that they should be prepared to have hotel security escort her away. Just don't risk it - the last thing you want to do is have your own mother ruin your wedding day and all your memories of it.
Happily married since 2008
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