What I did – last week I confronted my FI about a religious school issue we could not agree on, that was sitting in the back of my mind, and he kind of freaked out, as did I. I got so upset that I called my mom and told her our wedding was off because we could not come to terms with this. I was very upset and said I was going to move out b/c I just couldn’t handle it. She said she thought I was doing the right thing if he really couldn’t compromise.
The next day I also called my brother and told him everything as well. At this point I was sure the wedding would be off because we could just not see eye to eye. I was really an emotional wreck over the whole thing.
I decided not to leave our house, which upset my parents. Instead, I stayed with my FI. Now, several days later, after the dust has cleared we have agreed on a compromise, and the school won’t be an issue, because my FI has decided the religious schooling issue is not as important as our marriage and my comfort. But now my family is really alarmed and think the wedding is coming up too fast and that we should postpone it. Yesterday, my mom emailed me to tell me that as a family unit, they have decided they cannot attend our wedding in January, because they feel my behavior has been irrational.
I tried to talk to my brother and tell him we have worked it out, but he says the whole family thinks this is tainted now, and they don’t feel comfortable based on what has happened. It bothers me that they felt they needed to take a stand in this way, and I just don’t know what I can do to change their minds. The lesson in this is that I can’t involve them when we get into fights. I know this was a serious issue, but we really did come to an agreement we can both live with now, which is what I was asking for in the beginning. So I don’t know where to go from here.
I see why they might be worried based on what happened, but I don’t think they need to call of their trips. This is very hurtful to me. I don’t think they have been fully supportive from the beginning, and that this might be another way for them to voice that opinion. I know we had a serious issue, but I also think that planning a wedding can be a stressful time, and sometimes these emotions surface, and not in the prettiest of ways.
Aside from this issue, we don’t have a history of horrible fighting. We have had disagreements before but we mostly have always gotten along quite well. I never wanted to really call it off, but I was just so upset at the time!! That was the last thing I really wanted to do.
I also think there is a money issue involved. On top of this I have felt extreme guilt about making my family pay for the trip. No one said anything at first, and then waited so long to book, that prices really shot up. Now they say it is too expensive and my brother told me he can’t afford it now, to top everything else off. When I told them what happened, they seemed almost excited to cancel their trips!
What a mess! What should I do
