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Former sorority sister STOLE MY DATE!!

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20 replies to this topic

#1 brandynd

  • Jr. Member
  • 221 posts

    Posted 13 September 2009 - 05:42 PM

    Oh lord....I'm on the verge of a major meltdown. My wedding and AHR have been planned for 5 months now. Married on Jan. 13, with reception March 13. I got a phone call this morning from my "twin" in my sorority, informing me that one of our "sisters" Kayla has booked her wedding and reception for March 13 as well, fully knowing that that is the date that my reception is to take place. She rationalized it by saying that "Brandy dropped the chapter. Most of the other alumns don't even talk to her anyways, so nobody should be concerned with showing up at her reception anyways." I about broke into tears at the catty and childish way she is acting.
    I don't even know what to do. We have MANY mutual friends, and I feel this is putting them in a horrible position having to choose which venue to go to. Her reception is taking place downtown, and mine is in west Omaha, which is a 45 minute drive apart. I don't expect people to jump from venue to venue, and I don't want my big party ruined because some took it upon herself to show what a mean spirited, vindictive person she is.
    FI and I have a meeting with our reception site tomorrow to see if we can bump up the reception by a week or two in an effort to minimalize any conflicts. Just wanted to try and get all of this off my chest to people who are unbiased. My BM's don't seem to understand why I look at this as such a catostrophic occurence. They seem to think that everyone will be okay with going back and forth between weddings. Am I overreacting? I don't think I am, but I could just be letting my emotions get the best of me. Idk. Just feels like my wedding is slowly falling apart. If it isn't an issue with a vendor or a crappy ex friend trying to sabatoge my big day it's something else..
    There is no better gift that can be given than the gift of ones self.

    #2 Vikki

    • Member
    • 807 posts

      Posted 13 September 2009 - 05:58 PM

      I don't think you're completely overreacting. I think it's just BS that she would do that-especially knowing you were booking that date.

      #3 islandbride317

      • Sr. Member
      • 1,866 posts

        Posted 14 September 2009 - 02:35 AM


        Wow, how's that for a stab in the back, huh? Well, I would stick to your plan of checking to see if you can bump it up by a week or so if you think that will be possible, to avoid all of the stress and worries you'll have between now and the time of your reception. IT STINKS that you have to change your date, but I think you will be glad that you did in the end.

        And I don't think you are overreacting at all!! It's a big deal, and your BMs should understand that no bride likes the idea of someone else trying to steal her thunder....and possibly her wedding guests! (I know exactly where you are coming from -- my sister wanted to get married 3 days after me, until I completely went psycho on her and made her change her date so that it's months away from mine now!)


        #4 Lady_Di

        • Sr. Member
        • 5,078 posts

          Posted 14 September 2009 - 11:43 AM

          Ugh, what a b*tch!

          I hate girls like that. I really do! Recently, my cousin told me that she picked my wedding date but had to change her date. I was like, WTF? Why even tell me that?

          Anyway, i think you shouldnt try and change your reception date. That is going to make her feel better that she MADE you to change your date. Screw that. Don't let her do that to you. You said that most of girls don't talk to her that much so I am assuming most of your mutual friends would choose your wedding to go to??

          #5 autjo

          • Sr. Member
          • 2,182 posts

            Posted 14 September 2009 - 11:59 AM

            That's really snotty of her. It is very admirable that you are being the bigger person and trying to change your date. I honestly believe it will save you stress in the long run. I had to deal with this when 2 of my cousins (same side of the family) got married on the same day and it reallly created some animosity between family and friends. I was in one of the weddings and it was a huge event (over 500 guests, planned for 2 years, etc.) and the other one was total shot gun (still rented a hall and stuff, but planned in 2 months). The shot gun bride couldn't understand why driving around town all day between 2 weddings was a big deal. Some people just don't get it.

            Good luck in whatever works out for you!

            #6 ChelseaRose

            • Newbie
            • 139 posts

              Posted 14 September 2009 - 12:15 PM

              Wow, I can't believe someone would do that! I'm so sorry for all the additional stress and anxiety you must be going through. I totally don't think you are overreacting. I do think that by changing your date, you are giving her some power, but if that will relieve your stress, then you have to do what's best for you. Have you already sent out STD's and invitations?? Make sure to think about how many other guests will have to change their plans (besides your friends) and remember that January can be a busy month with family vacations to warmer destinations. If you change the date, there may be a few other friends that will make it to the entire ceremony and reception, but there may be others that won't be able to make it at all. Let us know what the reception site comes up with for an alternative plan!!

              #7 KittenHeart

              • Sr. Member
              • 3,103 posts

                Posted 14 September 2009 - 01:58 PM

                Wow that's just evil... she knew what she was doing and is justifying her actions unreasonably. She's affecting herself too which is dumb! She doesn't know who is going to go to who's wedding, what if no one showed at hers?

                Good luck, I think bumping it up is the graceful thing to do instead of going Bride Wars about it!

                I hope it works out the best for you!

                #8 shellk

                • Sr. Member
                • 1,784 posts

                  Posted 14 September 2009 - 02:00 PM

                  that is crap and i would feel exactly the same.keep calm try and change your date if not its not the end of the world.you will find that the people you want there the most will be and you will have a blast anyway.

                  #9 josee

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 217 posts

                    Posted 14 September 2009 - 02:08 PM

                    WOW what a horrible situation to be in! I think that you are very admirable for trying to change change your date. I hope everything works out for you.

                    #10 nsbride2010

                    • Sr. Member
                    • 2,528 posts

                      Posted 14 September 2009 - 03:11 PM

                      I agree with some of the other ladies... the classy thing to do is to move it, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAD THE DATE FIRST!! It will show people that you are flexible and willing to help them out, and show what a b*tch she is! It really is Bride Wars style... but don't let it get you down!! No matter what "seems" to go wrong, it goes a certain way for a reason. Don't lose sight of the man who will be standing next to you that day, whether things are picture perfect or not! :)
                      Enjoying marital bliss since July 1st, 2010

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