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KJT1985

Can I ask a dumb question... why?

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we wanted a DW and our closest family and friends attended BUT we also had alot of family and friends that could not attend.

 

also, it was a cultural thing and my parents wanted to have their own event and invite as many friends/family as they wanted. they shelled out the dough so who was i to say NO. it made my mom happy, i got to see distant relatives that travelled from asia, australia, all over US to see us.

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I don't think it's a dumb question. Different people have different reasons.

 

As a few others have said, the choice of a DW didn't come about because of money constraints or not wanting to plan something big.

 

After attending a close friends traditional wedding together, we just decided the whole church thing with a lot of people wasn't for us. We love to travel, we got engaged on a beach, and we want a quiet and romantic ceremony. The big AHR is in place to celebrate with everybody who couldn't make it to the DW... and for me, a reason to wear my wedding dress again!

 

Also, getting married somewhere away from home gives our closest family and friends the opporunity to take a much needed vacation. And to all take that vacation together... well it's a once in a lifetime opportunity.

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I think it's a valid question, as as most of the girls have said-- a very personal choice.

 

FI and I are hosting an AHR-- however, the format is not going to be formal or resemble a traditional "wedding reception" at all. We have decided that our AHR will be a very casual BBQ where we can involve ALL of our friends (we have about 200 attending our AHR) but keep it simple, and easy.

 

We have hired a musician/ DJ to come in, asked four of our closest relatives to act as "BBQ masters" and we are buying salad stuff, lots of booze, and burgers. Short, sweet and to the point. Not to mention simple-- like us.

 

For us, an AHR is just a way of including those who weren't able to afford the travel, or those who were not included in the "Small wedding" plans. But it's different for everyone.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by GinalynL View Post
FI and I wanted to do a destination wedding because we wanted to keep it intimate with only our closest family and friends. My parents on the other hand wanted us to have a huge wedding. An AHR that is more like a "traditional" reception is our compromise. I get my DW, and my parents get their big party.
I totally agree with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I think everyone has their idea of their "dream wedding" and some people are able or willing to spend thousands of dollars to fulfill that dream. I have dreamed of a lot of things for my wedding, but unfortunately my fiancee & I don't have that much money and we are paying for most of the wedding ourselves. We decided on a DW not for the money aspect of it possibly being cheaper, but because we live in Indiana and there is not a nice place to get married outside unless I want to spend like 10,000 (just for the wedding). So that's what made us decide to go the beach b/c it's cheaper than that and much prettier! To each his own.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by courtney_b00 View Post
I think everyone has their idea of their "dream wedding" and some people are able or willing to spend thousands of dollars to fulfill that dream. I have dreamed of a lot of things for my wedding, but unfortunately my fiancee & I don't have that much money and we are paying for most of the wedding ourselves. We decided on a DW not for the money aspect of it possibly being cheaper, but because we live in Indiana and there is not a nice place to get married outside unless I want to spend like 10,000 (just for the wedding). So that's what made us decide to go the beach b/c it's cheaper than that and much prettier! To each his own.
Ding ding ding! I did not choose a DW for the cost OR the ease of planning. I choose a DW because there is no beach in Indiana!! (Okay, technically there is, but I'm talking about a BEACH beach, like with an ocean!) I looooooove the beach and can't imagine having our wedding anywhere else, but most friends and family can't/won't be able to make it that far from home. So, AHR it is!

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I think its a great question! Its totally a personal choice. For us, we have a big family and not all can attend. Including the In laws, which are still upset were going sad.gif So when we get back, were going to have a big party! Nothing expensive, just some finger foods on the tables, a dj for some dancing, and of course a slide show of our trip and big day!

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This is a great question! I had to compromise on the AHR because it's what my FI was interested in. This is my second marriage (the first one came with all the bells and whistles) so I really wasn't into it as much as he is. I'm doing it to appease him, and to have a chance to celebrate with those that can't join us in Jamaica.

 

Now, my question is, what's the rationale behind planning a dw at an all-inclusive resort, and PAYING $75+ per person for a reception, dj, cake, etc. If it's already all-inclusive, why double payhuh.gif

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I don't want a formal or expensive AHR when we get back (not that pressed to have one at all). I'd rather put the money into something else like buying a house. But as most aren't able to make it I know I won't be able to get away w/ doing absolutely nothing. So I would like to have a party (preferably on New Year's), nothing fancy, where we just have some finger foods (like wings, sandwich and veggie trays) etc and some music, and show off the wedding pics and videos for all those who were not able to attend.

 

Some women dream about their wedding their whole lives, some dream big while others dream small, and some don't dream at all they just go with whatever kind of ceremony and particulars they are feeling and or can afford when the time comes.

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Out of all of the wedding planning thus far, I have finally pulled a bridezilla moment on my wedding party, and it's about the AHR.

 

I got married exactly a month ago today, on a cruise ship, which was awesome. I haven't posted any reviews, wedding planning thing, breakdowns of my oots, or anything like that yet, but I will.

 

I didn't get to choose my wedding cake customization, or the decor on the cruise ship. The cake was very simple white two tier cake, and the decorations on the ship was mostly the background of the ship. Now I want to choose my AHR wedding cake, and I want a few specific things for decor, and my family is like no no, just keep it simple, we`ll get like a slab cake from the grocery store, and we`ll use the leftover decorations from the bridal shower and just put up a bunch of balloons.

 

I bridezilla`d on them. My husband is quite proud of me, lol. I told them I`m sorry if you guys are sick of hearing about this wedding and I know we`re already married and that you all spent thousands of dollars going to the wedding but stop shooting down every idea I have! DH was especially proud of my ``If i want to have a slushie machine at the reception, I`m going to have a fricking slushie machine`` line.

 

I have no idea if I want a slushie machine really. I just like slushies, and I saw it on the rental form for the party rental place in town, lol. But you get my point.

 

I don`t want an elaborate affair. Just let me do my own touches, let me make it feel like a reception. I`ll pay for the damn cake and chandelier I want to rent.

 

It`s not a big cost.. the hall rental is a certain price but my sister runs the hall so I`m sure we can get a discount.. my parents are paying for the catered meal.. nobody has open bars at weddings around here (I think most newlyweds in the area would file for bankruptcy if they did this) so there will be a cash bar at the dance.. my brother in law and the best man are both DJ`s so they`ll be taking care of the music afterwards..

 

I just want my cake. And a chandelier.

 

And some white lights.

 

And maybe a slushie machine, what the hell.

 

Is that so much to ask confused.gif

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