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KJT1985

Can I ask a dumb question... why?

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Ok I don't mean to sound rude or judgmental here but why do people spend so much money on a formal AHR reception for a destination wedding instead of just getting married at home? I thought most of the appeal was about 1) cost and 2) not having to plan all the details? Maybe that's just me. It's just that I see people planning AHR receptions for 200+ people that cost $15,000+ and I don't understand WHY and why they just wouldn't get married there too! Haha. Please explain?

 

We'll have to have TWO AHR - one for my family in the states and one for my fiance's family in Canada. His parents said they would help us out for the one there. As far as the one here, sure i'm not limiting guests but it'll be cake and finger foods/snacks in the afternoon at the cheapest local hall, a bit of alcohol, no formal entertainment, and minimal decorations if any....

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I think everyone to their own....We are having over 200 people and we are spending more than 15K. I have always wanted a nice huge reception and a destination wedding because we love the beach and we don't want to get married at home. It doesn't matter if you have a backyard BBQ or a country club reception as long as you (the bride) are happy! I am just doing what I want....

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I think tylersgirl explained it pretty well. Our ahr had more people than our wedding because it included people who couldn't make the trip for one reason or another. We wanted it low-key so it was pretty inexpensive, taco stand, drinks, and music in the backyard...and it was perfect for us. Personally I wouldn't spend that much on an ahr but I agree, to each their own :)

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Oh I totally agree! If I had the resources I would probably have a big event at home - but that would mean being able to hire a planner because I do NOT enjoy planning the tiny details! Absolutely - to each his own. I guess I just made assumptions about WHY people choose a destination wedding and was curious what their reasons were if it wasn't financial or because of the planning/not wanting a big party.

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My FI and I chose to do a dw because we wanted a beautiful wedding with people who were close to us without having to pay out the nose to feed a billion people who I might spend 1min talking to the whole evening of a reception! I don't think there is anything wrong with having an AHR and if I had the funds I'd have one too... But for now I'm thankful that I will have a wedding, small reception on the resort and a honeymoon all wrapped into one!

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I wanted to elope (my FI was certainly supportive of the idea) because I wanted to avoid much of the drama that comes with the planning of and having the ceremony. I've dreaded that aspect of a wedding since I was a kid. I wouldn't have minded skipping the AHR, but my FI really wanted a big party. I do event planning as part of my job, so that part is a breeze and the possibility for drama is drastically reduced since the wedding will have already happened. Everyone will have a great time and we'll both get what we want so I think it's a great compromise.

 

I think our family and friends are really excited about it too because it gives them a chance to feel "a part" of our wedding even though they won't be there. We're only spending about $4K, but that pretty much covers a fairly traditional reception (with a lot of DIY projects) in our hometown.

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FI and I wanted to do a destination wedding because we wanted to keep it intimate with only our closest family and friends. My parents on the other hand wanted us to have a huge wedding. An AHR that is more like a "traditional" reception is our compromise. I get my DW, and my parents get their big party.

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We are having a DW bc we have both had big weddings in our previous lives and both wanted something small and intimate.

 

My mom is now saying she'd like to have a "party" when we get back to celebrate our wedding and invite the people we couldn't invite to the island...meaning her friends and some extended family...she said she'll pay for it, so fine. We will show up and enjoy.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jax_the_beach_bride View Post
i hope they dont expect u to foot the whole bill too if they want the party!?
Jax I think you were referring to me..haha...yeah I left the important piece out. My parents wanted the big party so they are paying and planning it. Basically FI and I just need to show up ready to party smile29.gif

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