Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
estella1007

Is it poor etiquette?

Recommended Posts

I feel like since I have joined this forum, I have added 9876543234567890 things to my list that I SHOULD be doing. When I chose to have a destination wedding, it was because we have such a small budget now that we just had a baby and bought a house, that I figured it would be more affordable and acted as the honeymoon as well. Now, I pretty much obsess over all the things that everyone is doing, and feel like I need to do them too. For example, I had never even heard of OOT bags before, or sending welcome packages prior to the cruise. I am not doing ceremony programs, STD's, invitations, or any of the other details. I am also seeing that people are having welcome parties and dinners also. I pretty much reserved a group of rooms, emailed the info to my immediate family and the friends that are attending, and that's about it. To keep everyone informed of the events and the cruise information, I posted it all to our wedding web page. Am I the only one out there that is keeping it so simple? Is this poor etiquette not to do all of the above? If it helps, my wedding is in Bermuda, and we are arriving via cruise ship. We will be having a ceremony on the beach, followed by a cocktail reception, and then have dinner reserved back on the ship. Should I be doing much more?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No Estella...just do what you want. It is your wedding and everyone will have a great time regardless. I am not doing an OOT bag or ceremony programs. My guests won't care at all and I'm sure yours won't either. You and your guests are going to have so much fun! Don't sweat the small stuff. Your wedding will be spectacular!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think you need to worry about any of that stuff! Most of it is definitely not needed for a DW! The only thing you may want to consider doing is proper invitations. It will encourage people to come, and in particular, to book. Even if you just do e-mail invitations (you could use Invitations, Free eCards and Party Planning Ideas from Evite) or put an RSVP tool on your website, I think it's one of those things that makes a wedding seem "official" and gets guests excited. You could also do some simple DIY invitations, which wouldn't cost much, but would be a nice courtesy to extend to your guests (especially since they'll be spending a lot to attend the wedding).

 

Most people haven't heard of OOTs, STDs sound like overkill in your case, and a program for most DWs would have hardly anything in it! Welcome dinners are definitely not needed, and depending on your situation may even be out of place. So don't worry! You know your guests best and I'm sure that what you have planned is more than enough :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The great thing about this process is that you can do what you want. I think that a destination wedding has a whole new set of rules and those rules start with the Bride and Groom.

 

I too added things to my To Do list after joining several message boards. Some I'm keeping and others I'm doing without. We're going to keep some traditional elements and let other go. Like TylersGirl said you're guests will not even miss what you dont have.

 

I'm a strong believer that all this should be a reflection of the couple and my FI and I are too laid back for a bunch of formalities.

 

Don't sweat it and enjoy planning the beginning of your journey together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's been so many threads on this. Everyone is different, and as mentioned above - it's your wedding, so do as much or as little as you want. Im not doing anything over and above either. Stress-free, and definately less expensive. Dont sweat it - its YOUR day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with the other ladies! It's your wedding! I wasn't going to have a wedding party because I felt like my three closest friends had already been in enough weddings and would be thrilled to not have to be in another one, but to my surprised they really wanted to be part of my day. So I'll have my three best friends next to me on my big day! It's your day!!

 

Congrats!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am doing OOT bags, etc, but I have been to 4 destination weddings in the past and I never even heard of this until this website.. so I really doubt your guests would be expecting any of this...

For programs, I don't think you need them at all - especially if your group is small everyone knows everyone anyway. If you did want to do cheap programs, you can do them free on vistaprint (they have programs or rack cards free now) and just pay for postage..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just like everyone else said...it's your day and you make the rules of etiquette for this.

 

I was in the same boat as you and thought that my DW was turning out to be just as much work as a wedding at home, if not worse cause then you have to pay to transport everything. I did add a few things to my to do list since joining BDW but we didn't do STD's, we're not doing programs, or welcome parties or rehersal party. I'm actually not even having a shower cause I really don't care for them and I don't want to ask my family to travel 2hrs to get to a silly girly thing. Instead, the afternoon of my stagette I'm getting the girls together and we're going to get a psychic to do some readings, go out to supper and have a limo pick us up to start out the night. I chose not to do anything traditional and even designed my own invitations. They only cost me $100 to make 125 of them. Anyway, after that ramble I guess I just mean that you're not alone!! do what you want to do and enjoy your wedding with the love of your life!! - Congrats on the new baby and new house!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • we ended up using Facebook messenger when we were in Mexico - the hotel had free wifi and at least 1 person from each family/couple had FB on their phone already - it was pretty easy to communicate among guests "hey, we're heading to the beach bbq for lunch." or "everyone is hanging at the small pool today".  a plus was that some people tried to get a hold of me via FB on the day of the wedding and I was totally not checking my phone - they were asking if the wedding was outside given the rain forecast, thankful my mom, MOH and a few other friends were on the group and could respond for me :) 
    • Are you looking for a guide where you’ll find many tips and steps to follow to make your wedding a success? We design a special for you, where you will find: Photography Tips To-Do List Check list How to choose the best dress? Memories and invitations And much more! Download it now for free from: http://emweddings.com/WeddingGuide/index.html     Don’t stress. Enjoy every moment, tomorrow will be your best memories. See you soon!
    • Another option is to find an app that allows for group talk. This Wedding Party App looks pretty neat. https://apracticalwedding.com/wedding-party-app/ 
    • Hi Everyone, So, I was cleaning out my closet and realized that I never sold off my extra wedding OOT bag stuff from our wonderful DW.   46 Daily Spanish for Dummies 30 Pool colored OOT fabric bags - approximately 13in x 13in. They lay flat.  I used them for our wedding and they were perfect for everything we needed to fit in each bag. There’s a slight shade variation in the group; I’m guessing some were cut from a different bolt of fabric.  They are also a little wrinkled from storage and will probably be wrinkled from shipping. I have three additional ones, but they somehow got something on them (likely toddler related). If needed, I can try to wash it out and send those as well. 
    • I’m getting married in six months to my foreign girlfriend. I was advised by a friend that one of the things I need to do before saying I do is to get a prenuptial agreement. Basically it’s supposed to protect my assets and properties in case my relationship with my future wife goes down the drain. I don’t know though if this is an acceptable practice when marrying Kiev ladies. I don’t want to do it if it would be insulting on her end. I need advice on this. Please help me.
  • Topics

×