A little down about people's reactions...
Posted 29 July 2009 - 03:09 PM
Posted 30 July 2009 - 12:45 PM
Posted 31 July 2009 - 01:59 AM
Posted 16 August 2009 - 10:03 PM
| Originally Posted by yaker33 |
So my mother finally spoke to me after like a week and she just tells me how upset she is. That im her only daughter and she wants to basically parade me around infront of everyone. She told me noone is coming, how can i get married without my brothers there?? The best part is is that my one brother lives in California (my whole family is in NJ) and when he gets married I guarantee everyone will fly out to see it...but me!! Nooooo!! No one can put $50 a month away for two years!! Shes making me feel like I shouldnt feel this way about my own wedding!! Am i supposed to give in and have a wedding here in teh states just to make her feel happy?? What about me then!! I thought planning a wedding was supposed to be fun! Im miserable right now!! She alwasy does this to me!! Im so excited to get married in the caribbean but my own mother finds some way to ruin that for me!!
...whoa that was a lot of pent up anger...so glad I got that out!
Posted 16 August 2009 - 10:36 PM
Posted 16 August 2009 - 11:07 PM
However, I'd rather have a small wedding in a place that makes me smile, than a large wedding at some wedding hall in northern NJ (think Real Housewives). I'd be miserable if I had to spend double the money on a wedding that's going to end up like the 15+ weddings we've been to in the past 2 years. In fact, the weddings I'm most excited for are the weddings that take us away from NJ. We've got friends marrying in Vail, CO, Newport, RI and L.A., CA and we're so excited to go to each one of them. I'm not going to forget a wedding in the Rockies or any other wedding I have to fly to. Yes, they're expensive, but I love traveling, which is why I'm doing this DW in the first place.
In short, the nasty things those people are saying is more of a reflection about them than it is about you. None of us brides are selfish and ungrounded. We just happen to want a wedding experience that weeds out all the "haters" and leaves us with the folks who love life and really want to be there.
Posted 17 August 2009 - 09:00 AM
| Originally Posted by BeautifulBridetoBe |
If I have learned anything during this season of planning my wedding, it is how inwardly focused guests, friends and family can be. As brides, we must realize quickly that most people want us to have the wedding that THEY want us to have...the one that suits them, their schedule, their wallet, their taste in food and music, during a time of day when the sun is shining on their good side, where the carpet will not interfere with their new shoes and the cake is lactose-free because they have an allergy!
They will complain about anything that does not suit them, ignoring the wishes and wants of the bride and grrom because they believe they have some entitlement to your wedding! After all, they are the groom's sister, bride's mother, groom's best friend, etc. They forget that they have the blessing of witnessing your special day...and that's it...that is all they are entitled to.
The other day I started bawling b/c I don't think one of my aunt's can make it, but my FI said not to cry about the ones who cannot come, but to be happy about the ones who are coming. Seeing it from that perspective is making it much easier. Boy this is rough and it is still a year away!
Posted 17 August 2009 - 12:23 PM
I've been married for 3 months now and let me tell you...a DW was the best decision we made. Not because of all of the fun we had, but for some very practical reasons.
First off: we invited 171 friends and family members to our DW, knowing that many would not make it. What we did not expect was that some would not even REPLY. To this day, we have yet to recieve our RSVP cards back or a word about if they even recieved our invitation. They have not even called to congratulate us on our recent nuptials. It showed us how much we actually mean to some people.
So, if we had listened to my MIL and had the at home wedding, we would have invited 171 people, most of which who would have come as we were picking up the tab. In reality, their genuine care for us shows in how they have ignored our invitation or complained about the wedding we want to have.Our wedding would have been filled with those who at the end of the day, may not really care about us, but would have welcomed the occassion to get dressed up and have a meal.
So have the wedding YOU want to have.
A sencond great reason: we are not in debt. Debt wreaks HAVOC on a new marriage, especially large wedding debt for a wedding you did not enjoy. It's not your cousin Mildred who has to get dressed and go to work every day after to pay for the wedding bills...it's most likely you and your FI!
We are saving for a house and looking into taking a cruise this fall to enjoy being husband and wife. We would not be able to achieve our personal financial goals with a big at home wedding.
Bottom line: have the wedding YOU want to have....not just the honeymoon you want to have. People will try to talk you into an at-home wedding and then you can go to your destination for your honeymoon. NO...have the wedding you want to have....those are your memories and your photographs. They should be what you want.
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