Just need to get this off my chest.. **Long**
Posted 04 February 2009 - 02:12 PM
My parents were suposed to help us pay for most of this. My real dad was going to help as well. Well, my mom tells me that she talked with my dad and TOLD him he HAD to pay for everything now. My dad cannot afford that and that's fair enough. But, I think my dad is afraid of my mom and told her that it was fine and he would. I know that's it's not fine.
I mean, granted, my father didn't pay child support because he was a drunk and drank away all his money and did some messed up things when I was a child. I'm over it and I don't think my dad owes me anything anymore. I did at one point, but I'm an adult now and I'm passed all that. We have a pretty good relationship now and he has got his life together and that's all I can ask for.
My parents (mom & step-dad) are comfortable and can afford the luxuries in life. Now, I'm not saying that they should pay for all of this because they have more money. But, give my dad a break. My mom orginally said that they would pay for half and my dad could pay for half.. I thought that was fair. Now, she is throwing the fact that they paid for my Bridal Shower and a few other things and didn't ask him for anything.
I think my mom feels like my dad owes me the world, but my step-dad has been there for me and he is my "dad".. the dad that every father hopes to be. I feel like I wasn't cheated at all, in fact I think it all worked out the way it was suposed to.
Also, my parents bought a house back in Ontario and said that we could have it. Great! Except for the fact that I left Ontario (I live in Alberta now) for a reason.. because I didn't WANT to live there. Please note that we will be paying the mortgage/utilites.. etc.. it's not free. Well, FI wants to move and thinks it would be a great move for us because we are renting an apt right now and he wants our daughter to have a yard and house to grow up in. I come from a small city as well and the crime rate is alot lower.. it's a good place to raise your children. So, I said fine, we will move because it's what's best for our family.. sacrifices!!
So, we are moving. Now, my mom keeps throwing the house in my face!! Like this is the reason they feel they shouldn't have to pay for anything for the wedding. I understand this.. to a degree. My parents gave my brother $6000-$7000 for his wedding and so they have evened it out by buying this house. This house that they have put $10,000-$15,000 of their own money into for renos... Another thing I didn't ask them to do.. they just did.
So, my issue is that I didn't ask them to buy this house.. I didn't ask them to offer it to us and I'm really tired of hearing about it. We wouldn't be moving a month after our wedding if it wasn't for this stupid house. I would be getting the small/inexpensive wedding that I want if it wasn't for this stupid house. I'm really starting to resent this house.. and my parents for buying it.
Maybe I'm just stressed out.. but my parents are helping. Even though my mom calls me or when I call her she says.. Don't stress or worry about anything?! Ok... so don't make it stressful for me.
This is our day.. I feel like I'm in this alone............
Posted 06 February 2009 - 03:53 PM
You need to talk to him and tell him he can't pay for everything. The past is the past and if you have moved on from it i'm sorry but your mother needs to also.
This is one reason I won't accept ANYTHING from FMIL because she will do exactly the same
Posted 06 February 2009 - 04:21 PM
So, as of right now we are trying to get everyone to book through my Dad's travel agent so we can get the free cocktail party - $600 value. That will take a big load off and then there won't be so much to pay for and a price much more realistic for him to pay. We have 7 rooms so far.. we only need 3 more!! I really hope we get there and I'm trying my hardest to make that happen. My parents (mom & step-dad) are one of the rooms.
Also, my sister and brother-in-law have now decided to come and they might be the 8th room. My brother-in-law said he was going to do the photography for the wedding and then they backed out because they didn't think they could afford it. Well, now they are coming (GREAT!!) and he can do the pictures which saves another $500!! Things are slowly falling into place.
Thanks for reading/listening.. I was just having A DAY, as I'm sure all you other beautiful brides have.
Now my apt flooded... yay!! Just another obstacle I think I would rather deal with the water than my wedding some days haha
Posted 06 February 2009 - 06:57 PM
FMIL hasn't spoken to me in a year and I like it that way but can you imagine what the wedding will be like lmfao
As for bad days everyone has them when it everything gets right on your tits and you have to blow it off or explode lol thats why i do boxing ha ha
Posted 12 February 2009 - 12:51 AM
Posted 12 February 2009 - 01:21 AM
Posted 12 February 2009 - 01:27 AM
Posted 12 February 2009 - 01:27 AM
Posted 12 February 2009 - 02:21 AM
| Originally Posted by Celina |
Glad to hear things are working out. The one piece of advice I can give you is if you accept gifts, you have to accept the strings that come with them. Otherwise, do it yourself that way you don't owe anything to anyone!
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