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Important Family Members Not Invited


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#1 SoonToBeE

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    Posted 11 January 2009 - 07:12 PM

    Does anyone else have important family members that they are not inviting for good reason?

    We are getting married in a few weeks and from the start I knew I couldn't invite my mom or my brother because of a big family feud. I don't talk to my brother and I haven't spoken to my mom in over a year. I had to shut them out of my life.

    It's sad and it's so hard to talk to people who ask why these key family members aren't invited, but I know it's the best - it felt worse to imagine them at the wedding than it would to imagine them not being there. I knew when I felt that way that I had made the right choice, but it's still hard.

    Anyone else in the same boat where they aren't inviting a really important family member (that will be obviously missing)?

    #2 Ayita

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      Posted 12 January 2009 - 01:36 AM

      Yep. My grand mother (my last grand parent) is not invited. She's a bitch, always treated my mother like crap (and even worse but I don't want to enter into the detail) and is behaving insanely (hitting on young men even thoughshe's more than 80). It besome super hard when she's not the center of the event, so imagine at a wedding. Last but not least, she's super prejudiced and my fiance is an African American... coming with his family... I don't want ANY member of my FI's family feel ill at ease because of her. So, no grand mother. I don't even have any second though about it.

      #3 Susanandmo

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        Posted 12 January 2009 - 04:08 AM

        Good Thread!

        I invited my father, but I really hope that he doesn't show up... He loves drama and he likes to be the center of attention. Imagine my 11 year nephew past away last year and my "sick" father found a way to make it all about him...

        Him and my mom got divorced about 10 years ago (cause he left her for a younger women that I like to call "crack whore") and he is so mad that my mom finally found a lovely guy to share her life with. He asked my brother if my mom's boyfriend was invited (which he is) and he told my brother, that he was planning on having words with my mom's BF!!! I really rather avoid all that crap....

        So I'm hoping that him and his "Crack Whore" don't show up....
        ...

        #4 Hartyt509

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          Posted 12 January 2009 - 05:57 PM

          Yep all of FI's family except the FMIL and new hubby! I couldn't swing that one lol They are bloody horrific, will get smashed and make arses of themselves. I'd only end up punching them and that would turn horrible lol

          My dad isn't going, mostly because he lives in Bali, but also because I don't want him anywhere near FMIL as he'll get her told straight lmao It's one of the reasons I didn't get married in Bali lol Dad is fine about it his words "not arsed you'll always be mine anyway" lmao too true dad lmao

          #5 SgtPepperette

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            Posted 12 January 2009 - 06:04 PM

            I understand completely where your coming from. My mom will not be invited. We are not speaking to each other, and at the time of my wedding it will be a year we havent. After my dad passed, certain events has lead me to estrange myself from her. Its the healthiest thing to do while I grieve and heal. Its been hard not having her there to help me plan, or just to talk to. But its best right now. I hope I can hold it together not having any parents there. Sometimes when people ask about her or if shes going to be there...I cant even hold it together

            #6 Riley

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              Posted 12 January 2009 - 06:45 PM

              My fiancee's parents have not been invited. We haven't really spoke to them in four years and there is a lot of tension between his parents and one of his sisters (who is coming).
              Hopefully there will not be any regrets down the road.

              #7 sunsetbride1

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                Posted 12 January 2009 - 07:40 PM

                I completely understand. I have not spoken to my mother in years and even though I have come to terms with it; it is still hard sometimes. She will not be invited to the wedding and I don't even know if she knows I am engaged. She is not a good person and that is all I can say... I don't need her there.
                Yes, it makes me sad that she won't be there when I am getting ready like Mother's should be; but she has never been a good Mother so it's nothing I haven't been dealing with for many years.

                #8 SoonToBeE

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                  Posted 13 January 2009 - 01:11 AM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by sunsetbride1
                  I completely understand. I have not spoken to my mother in years and even though I have come to terms with it; it is still hard sometimes. She will not be invited to the wedding and I don't even know if she knows I am engaged. She is not a good person and that is all I can say... I don't need her there.
                  Yes, it makes me sad that she won't be there when I am getting ready like Mother's should be; but she has never been a good Mother so it's nothing I haven't been dealing with for many years.

                  That's the way I am feeling right now. I want to have all of the 'mother daughter' times that happen when one is planning a wedding, but I know that she can't do that, and I wouldn't want her to.

                  I guess I just miss the idea of having a 'TV mom.'

                  I think my mom knows I'm engaged. I sent her an email but she never responded.....I'm in the same boat - she hasn't been a mother for years, but I notice more now than I ever have before......

                  Sucks that so many people are in this same boat : ( I could be your proxy mom? :P

                  #9 sunstarsmoon

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                    Posted 13 January 2009 - 12:20 PM

                    I won't be inviting my neice we had a falling out about 3 years ago and she holds a grudge. We are only about 10 years apart and were very close. I would love her to be there but to much has gone on. there are some things that time can never heal.
                    July 8, 2011, Couples Sans Souci Ocho Rios, Jamaica

                    #10 TAHOEJENI

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                      Posted 31 January 2009 - 12:52 PM

                      Yep - my father is not invited. He's a lying sleazy man who even conned me out of thousands this summer. Something I never imagined possible as I was his "favorite" daughter out of all seven of us. Yeah right. He was storing a limited edition Saab convertible of mine in his incredibly large garage and sold it. It had originally been titled in his name as he cosigned on it 12 years ago when I bought it. I made EVERY single payment. It's 100% my fault as I never retitled it, giving him the ability to sell it. Even when I confronted him with the truth, he lied about it for months. (We live a couple states apart and I had much better things to do with my vacation time then confirm something that I knew to already be true) I finally got a typed letter from him saying "I don't know why I did it and I don't know why I lied to you about it every time you called me".
                      In talking with my other brothers and sisters (half and full - he's been married four times) he's stolen/lied from a lot of us! Pathetic!




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