| Originally Posted by Bridget810 |
I am not changing my name, and it is not for vanity reasons (though I would totally use that as an excuse if I could!!), as my fiance has a lovely last name. I let him know from the beginning that I had full intentions of keeping my name. While he was upset at first, I just said: "how would you feel if you lived as Mr. XX XXXX for 28 years, and established your identity, and then you married and had to change your name--and your identity? Would you do it?" He admitted that he would not like it one bit! Then I explained my feminist (no--not a bad word!) ideology--that women were just expected to do so. I'm not saying it's wrong to change your name; I'm just saying that it should be a choice. And, personally, I like my name. I have agreed, however, to consider hyphenating my last name when we have kids, to avoid confusion. Once you explain why you want to keep your name, I find that most guys are pretty agreeable. If not; well, that's a whole other issue! Good luck to you (and Girl Power!!!).
and he said it really is okay and seems a lot better about it.
I told him I would reconsider changing my name (except for professionally b/c all of my diplomas and licenses are under my last name) when we have children - and he said he's fine with that..
I think guys don't realize how much this means to a lot of women..
Thanks for sharing your opinions on this