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Are you changing your name?

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#1 DGG

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    Posted 07 January 2009 - 01:24 AM

    So, this isn't specific for destination weddings - but it's been something I've been trying to figure out..
    I always thought I would not change my name. Although I don't really care what people call me socially, I wouldn't want to change it professionally or legally.. BUT - now my fiance tells me he is not happy with that.
    We have been dating for over 9 years and not that we spoke about it much, but I had always said I didn't plan to change my name.. and he never said anything about it... but now that the wedding is getting closer he seems upset about it.. I want him to be happy and I want to be a family with him and be part of his family, but I just don't see why I have to give up my name to do that... A lot of my friends kept their names, but I was wondering what the consensus was here..

    #2 Cattie

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      Posted 07 January 2009 - 01:29 AM

      Personally I'll be changing my last name.

      However I think a lot of women have issues with this, more then choose to admit. Trust me, it's going to be hard after having my last name for the past 31 years!! But I really can't wait to be a Mrs. I think some women think of changing there name as loosing there identity. Myself, I'm ok with it, I just can't help of thinking down the road when we have children it will be so much easier. This way they're not confused, why does mommy have a different last name then us?

      I would just explain to your FI why you want to keep your own last name. I don't think men understand how much of a change and pain in the ass it is to do it!!!

      #3 edssbride09

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        Posted 07 January 2009 - 01:48 AM

        In this day and age it is more than acceptable to NOT take your husbands name, and it is becoming more and more common. I won't be taking my husbands name either... (largely for vanity reasons though, i really don't like his name). Thankfully he understands, and is supportive of this. I think your FI will get over it, and perhaps you will change your mind eventually and take it, but make him see the reasons why you would want to keep yours, he loves you and will see your side eventually!

        #4 Jess

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          Posted 07 January 2009 - 01:55 AM

          Yes I am changing my name to FI's last name. Although for work I am keeping it hyphenated (emails and business cards) since I work in the family business and want to keep that name since it is in our company name.

          #5 deefalvey

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            Posted 07 January 2009 - 02:07 AM

            personally I am going to change my name.

            something to keep in mind - us girls dream of our wedding day and all that it encompasses since we are little girls. I think our men at some point dream of having a Mrs. _______ at some point. don't crush his dream!
            Bill and DeannaJuly 24, 2009

            #6 Bridget810

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              Posted 07 January 2009 - 04:42 AM

              I am not changing my name, and it is not for vanity reasons (though I would totally use that as an excuse if I could!!), as my fiance has a lovely last name. I let him know from the beginning that I had full intentions of keeping my name. While he was upset at first, I just said: "how would you feel if you lived as Mr. XX XXXX for 28 years, and established your identity, and then you married and had to change your name--and your identity? Would you do it?" He admitted that he would not like it one bit! Then I explained my feminist (no--not a bad word!) ideology--that women were just expected to do so. I'm not saying it's wrong to change your name; I'm just saying that it should be a choice. And, personally, I like my name. I have agreed, however, to consider hyphenating my last name when we have kids, to avoid confusion. Once you explain why you want to keep your name, I find that most guys are pretty agreeable. If not; well, that's a whole other issue! Good luck to you (and Girl Power!!!). :)

              #7 shellb

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                Posted 07 January 2009 - 07:56 AM

                I am with Bridget810 on this and did the same thing. My FI said no way he would change his name and told me to do what I want. My latest decision, I think that I am going to hyphenate.

                #8 katrina


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                  Posted 07 January 2009 - 09:59 AM

                  there are lots of threads on this subject

                  feel free to bump them!

                  #9 tylersgirl

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                    Posted 07 January 2009 - 10:22 AM

                    I am going to change my name but still keep my maiden name...I will just have 4 names, haha...or drop my middle--I haven't decided yet!

                    #10 lil_miss_frogg

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                      Posted 07 January 2009 - 11:01 AM

                      I will be changing my last name. I really don't like my last name....Vinyard....it just doesn't sound good with my first name. I can't wait to be Mrs. Sharp! So excited!
                      My Babies
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