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neen

Just admit I'm not important enough...

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Neen, I'm so sorry you're going through this! Unfortunately, we're all dealing with it to. One of my closest friends told me she'd be there, I was her MOH. She told me last Christmas that he DH probably wouldn't be able to make it, but she'd be there without a doubt. She waited until the "I NEED YOUR MEASUREMENTS TODAY" day before she told me she wasn't coming, and it was a BS excuse...she also "couldn't make" my bridal shower or bachelorette party...some friend.

 

Hang in there adn in the end you'll know people's true colors.

 

PS...wow!! on the check in the RSVP card!

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Originally Posted by NJ_bride View Post
Rachel- that part about being released from bondage, LMAO! FH runs around saying how he is free from family obligation forever now! It is true, now OUR priorities change.
i LOVE this!!!

unfortunately, i think it's just in my nature to always be the bigger person, ya know? i'm such a sucker. sad.gif

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Originally Posted by neen View Post
you know, i think its just hard getting so many "will not attend" RSVPs day after day, esp from close friends...we invited close to 200 people though and knew only about 20% would come, so i should have prepared myself better i guess!
OMG, I just just sent an email to my sister saying the same thing...that even though I know only 30-50 people are coming and we sent out 150 invites (300 people) it stull sucks when I open the mail and it's a handfull of "No's"

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Originally Posted by BachataBride View Post
...and show them lots of fantastic, beautiful, fun pictures & don't stop talking about what a great time you had!! Really rub it in their faces!!! :)
This is so so sooooo my plan! Espeically with FI's father and BIL (neither are coming).

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I feel your pain too...

 

Of my 3 best friends, one said she couldn't come from the very first phone call, which really hurt. All I wanted to hear was "I'd love to and I'll see what I can do". Since then she did say what I wanted to hear, but still will not be coming. It's more understandable now because her father passed away and she has had to make trips she could not afford. I will mss her, but I no longer feel like she's mean for not coming!

 

My other 2 friends had to have my FI badger them and offer to 'hire' them to paint our bathrooms so that he would cover their stays. And one of these girls, who is the closest to me, came over about 2 weeks ago and told me she was thinking of going to the Caribbean this month (ONE MONTH BEFORE OUR WEDDING!!!)smile41.gif I honestly think it would have taken me at least a year to get over that and even be able to look at her again... Luckily all of them have now booked, though off-site. And she said to me the other day that she probably wouldn't see us too much because it's her holiday and it cost her 2x as much as if she'd gone now.WTFhuh.gif

 

What it comes down to is that

1) They will feel SO sorry that they missed it. THEY will miss out and they WILL realize their mistakes

2) You will STILL have a great wedding without them. Honestly.

3) You never know who may book at the last minute. You may be pleasantly surprised.

4) Focus on the ones who are making the effort, not the jerks who aren't.

 

smile03.gif

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People are so selfish, I swear! I am sorry you are going through this. Just know that the people you love the most will be right by your side.

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I totally can relate! My very good friend has been telling me from the beginning that she is coming to my wedding...acting so excited and telling me to put her in a good hotel no matter what it costs. Well in September she told me she doesn't know if she'll be able to afford it. This came out of nowhere and really hurt me. Her friends (we don't have any mutual friends) had the balls to tell her to go to my wedding just to see Turks and Caicos!!!!! How effed up is that?? and she had the balls to tell me this!

On top of that she went to a DW in DR this past july and it was for a girl she hardly knows.

Things like this really bring out peoples true colors...I'm very hurt by her actions and I can't bring myself to tell her which sucks even more.

 

So I can totally relate..but don't let it ruin one of the most important times in your life!

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I can relate as well, my best friend (I was her MOH and spent alot of money for her wedding) said she was going up until last 2 months before and then said she couldn't go. Then one month later she went to FL with her new boyfriend. She didn't even send me a card.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this, but at least you can learn who your true friends are.

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Girl, I feel you...I am so sorry to hear your situation. if I were you, this may sound harsh, but your very good friends who said they were coming, tell them straight up that you thought it wasn't "kosher" for them to tell you they were coming, so excited, and then break the news in an RSVP... and the whole sending a check via RSVP is a little tacky. But you know what? You and your fiance are the important ones, the ones who HAVE to be there. And I understand the whole thing too, one of my best friends is a florist and has over $40k in student loans (thought she wanted to be a teacher but did what made her happy) and she cried to me about how she is doing everything in her power to make it, which I love her and appreciate her telling me all this... but then on the other hand, certain nameless important guests who have lots of money, and who we never ask anything of, gave us lots of greif...

Bottom line... it's okay to feel bad, but know that some of them, I am sure, really did try to make it... the others with the lame excuses (I have 3 other vacations planned), don't let it worry you... At the end of the day, the two people who matter will be there, and will have a lovely wedding!

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None of our friends are coming to our wedding either - upsetting at first, but now neither of us care. It's our wedding not anyone else's so now we could care less who's there. We're spending 2 weeks drinking on the beach in Jamaica while all our friends and family who aren't coming, deal with the shitty Canadian weather the beginning of April.

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Originally Posted by neen View Post
I've gotten excuses written in the RSVP like "we're going on two other vacations this year" and "we just bought a house" or simply "we just can't swing it". Fine, you're not coming. But be honest...just tell me that while you're my friend and you wish me a wonderful wedding, its just not that important to you to be there and you'd rather go on a different vacation or spend the money you saved for Mexico on a new couch and coffee tables. Because that's the truth and I just want them to know that I know that.
Girl, I hear ya! smile123.gif

Our best man and his wife pulled out of our DW because "they had just bought a house and they were going to another wedding in Vegas". Which they were not standing in!!!! My FI didn't really believe that until he saw the pics on Facebook confirming our friends were not in the wedding party for the Vegas DW. That was like a stab thru the heart.

Hope they had lots of fun, they just gambled our friendship away. I haven't spoken to them since, I'm afraid I'd say something I'd regret. But mind you, they haven't really tried to reach us either since they told us in June.

Or my mom, who was convinced she was going to get stuck in a blizzard and miss everything, she refused to look into travelling down south.

Can you get that blurb of yours made into a card? That would be so awesome to send back to people... pokestick.gif

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