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Just admit I'm not important enough...

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#1 neen

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    Posted 28 October 2008 - 09:32 AM

    stupid computer ate my first attempt...but i still need to vent...

    i know almost everyone has been through this, but I'm just irritated by the fact that NOT ONE of my girlfriends is coming to my wedding (I invited 17 of them). I knew from the beginning that most wouldn't be able to afford it, even with a years notice, and that was fine. I also knew that the ones who really wanted to be there would try and still not be able to swing it - and that touched my heart. But there were 5 or 6 of them that said they were in from the beginning and sent me emails all the time about how excited they were, yet I've just recently gotten back their RSVPs saying they will NOT attend. No call or email in advance warning me their 180, just the RSVP. WTF

    I know the economy sucks and people have their own lives and priorities, but to those 5 or 6 that were planning on coming...who had more than 12 months notice with price estimates (which have actually gone DOWN), I'm pissed. I've gotten excuses written in the RSVP like "we're going on two other vacations this year" and "we just bought a house" or simply "we just can't swing it". Fine, you're not coming. But be honest...just tell me that while you're my friend and you wish me a wonderful wedding, its just not that important to you to be there and you'd rather go on a different vacation or spend the money you saved for Mexico on a new couch and coffee tables. Because that's the truth and I just want them to know that I know that.

    Oh yeah - and thanks for being so beyond tacky that you sent me a wedding check IN the RSVP card. Means alot to me to know that I'm not even important enough to rank a trip to CVS to buy a 99cent wedding card and 42 cent stamp!

    Yes, I'm being a bitchy little brat, but I can't help it. I'm hurt and disappointed and mad. I know lots of you have gone through this and there's not much to say, but I just needed to vent...thank god for this forum!


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    Posted 28 October 2008 - 09:35 AM

    oh neen that sucks and i'm sorry i wish friends would be more open with each other, you would think they would know if they had a valid excuse you wouldnt really be mad, just upset. maybe they are afraid of disappointing you. too bad they really did by the way the handled it

    BTW--when you log in, check off the "remember me" box next to your password and when you type a long post you wont get booted off/erased.

    #3 Hartyt509

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      Posted 28 October 2008 - 09:35 AM

      You're right it happens to all of us. I'm having the same problem but i've sat back and said you know what screw you i'll do what i want and yeah I may not have the fab party I wanted but so what lol

      Its the only way you can deal with it unfortunately x

      #4 neen

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        Posted 28 October 2008 - 09:38 AM

        Originally Posted by Abbie
        BTW--when you log in, check off the "remember me" box next to your password and when you type a long post you wont get booted off/erased.
        i never knew that...thanks for the tip!

        #5 Blkatz

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          Posted 28 October 2008 - 09:39 AM

          oh neen-I am so sorry that this is happening above everything else! I think a lot of us are in the same situation...I have a lot of friends that say that they are going but until they book I believe nothing!
          At the end you have to remember, those who go will be the ones you want to be there and the most important thing to remember is, this is your day and you are marrying a great man!

          #6 2bebridejamaica

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            Posted 28 October 2008 - 09:42 AM

            Oh Geez sounds like my planning and my "friends". I delt with this back in March and April, my "friends" even booked and then canceled on me because they wanted to plan other things ... and just came out with it. It's not fun and it sucks... espec when you know they are coming because they actually booked and bought all sorts of things... and then just bag you. I just don't get people sometimes... and this is one that I don't think I will ever understand. Why be all happy and say your going to do it and then just send the response card... HELLLOOOO people!!!

            #7 NJ_bride

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              Posted 28 October 2008 - 10:20 AM

              Oh Neen, I hear ya! I feel exactly the same way I have 2 friends coming, one is my bridesmaid and the other was dating one of my FH's friends and they broke up but are both coming separately. I have one friend who said she couldn't afford it then went to the DR for a week and is going to Vegas next month! Other friends just have not RSVP'd just said and done nothing. Family is just as bad, excuses, excuses, I agree with you just say coming to your wedding is just not a priority in my life right now, I get that. And as 2bebridejamaica said for the love of god just send the card!!!!!

              #8 DanielleNDerek

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                Posted 28 October 2008 - 10:35 AM

                I'm sorry sweetie. Maybe your friends dont want to dissappoint you so they are just sending the reply card back because they dont know what to say to you. and for the friend that is already going on 2 vacays, she should of prioritized your wedding that's bs if you ask me. But dont let it get you down. Your going to have the best wedding and when you get back everyone of them will be so jealous they didnt go.
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                #9 Jen_S

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                  Posted 28 October 2008 - 12:06 PM

                  I am sorry to hear this. Going into a DW we know some people can not attend but we work so hard to plan the wedding so everyone will have a great time we even give enough notice but in the end some people just don't come for what ever reason. We are also experiencing it with family and friends. I now just sit back don't get upset and say they are going to miss the party and we are going to have the time of our lives.
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                  #10 JUSTUSTWO


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                    Posted 28 October 2008 - 12:09 PM

                    You're definitely right in that many of us have gone through the exact same thing with friends & family.
                    While it sucks now & you're hurt, trust me, in time, you will get over it. It may not be easy and you will probably never forget this, but you'll see, it will pass.
                    I've learned that while weddings bring out the best in people, they also bring out the worst in people. People will show you sides of themselves that you never knew they even had, even your "best" friends. You will be absolutely amazed. You will also get an indication of exactly who your friends really are. Sometimes, you'll even become closer with friends/family that you weren't too close with before because they will be there for you.
                    Lastly, on your trip & especially your wedding day, you won't even give these people who didn't show up, a second thought. You'll be wrapped up in the people that thought you were special enough that they made the sacrifice & traveled with you.
                    I hope you feel better about it soon!

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