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What have I learned from planning a destination wedding?

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thank you for all the great tips, I think I have learnt a life lesson through the thread

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This is a great thread! I am in the process of planning a DW and we have changed our resort due to comments on price from people. We are still getting negative comments. My fiances cousin even went so far as to call another travel agent and try to arrange for a cheaper trip and then proceeded to tell other people that she can get the trip cheaper. I just cannot get over some peoples behaviour. We are still waiting on people to book.....including people in our wedding party! Its stressing me out. I told my bridesmaids to chose a dress they felt great in as long as it is in the color i want and knee length and flowy. Not one of them have a dress yet. And when I send group messages about dress shopping or how everyone is comin along finding a dress I either dont hear back or they havent found anything. So frustrating. I could have picked one and said they had to buy it but I was trying to be nice. I am so happy we have this forum to vent. I dont want to complain too much to other people because I dont want to be a bridezilla. I have also found that everyone was soo excited about the engagment and wedding....now nobody talks to me about it or asks how the planning is coming along. I thought this was supposed to be a memorable and exciting experience. Honestly I feel like other people will always ruin it for you so make it about yourself!!!

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Originally Posted by Jamielynn55 View Post

 

Lol this thread is kinda depressing while your still in the process of planning your wedding.

 

It is depressing lol but whats more depressing is that the people we think are close to us and will be there to make the planning and the wedding special for us are the ones who try to ruin it with their negativity or lack of caring. This thread is great for venting and sharing :)

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Originally Posted by Kate G View Post

 

Just got married in May and have learned a lot through the process!

 

- I definitely agree with those that said people you thought would be there won't --- hardly any of my extended family came to my wedding and it was really hard. BUT I can honestly say on the day of the wedding, I wasn't thinking of any of them :)

- Don't expect things to go entirely smoothly the day of; they probably won't...but it's okay!

- Friendships might be challenged and you may feel that you aren't being made to feel as special for your wedding because a lot of people can't come, so they act like they don't care that much.

- SPRING FOR GOOD PHOTOGRAPHY. I can't stress enough how important this is. We hired a photographer from my home state and flew him to Mexico, but it was worth every penny. Same goes for video. The photographer and videographer gave us priceless works of art that we will have for the rest of our lives...we could have saved a lot using the vendors at the resort, but to us, it was so worth it to spring for the good stuff! Here's our wedding film: http://vimeo.com/70227492

- You will most likely have to hunt people down for their RSVPs!

Your video is amazing!! Congrats!

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Originally Posted by Jeanetta H View Post

 

This is a great thread! I am in the process of planning a DW and we have changed our resort due to comments on price from people. We are still getting negative comments. My fiances cousin even went so far as to call another travel agent and try to arrange for a cheaper trip and then proceeded to tell other people that she can get the trip cheaper. I just cannot get over some peoples behaviour. We are still waiting on people to book.....including people in our wedding party! Its stressing me out. I told my bridesmaids to chose a dress they felt great in as long as it is in the color i want and knee length and flowy. Not one of them have a dress yet. And when I send group messages about dress shopping or how everyone is comin along finding a dress I either dont hear back or they havent found anything. So frustrating. I could have picked one and said they had to buy it but I was trying to be nice. I am so happy we have this forum to vent. I dont want to complain too much to other people because I dont want to be a bridezilla. I have also found that everyone was soo excited about the engagment and wedding....now nobody talks to me about it or asks how the planning is coming along. I thought this was supposed to be a memorable and exciting experience. Honestly I feel like other people will always ruin it for you so make it about yourself!!!

Wow some people know no boundaries can't believe that your fiances cousin called another travel agent.  You were nice enough to even change your venue which is a big sacrifice because I'm sure you loved the one you picked in the first place that's why you picked it.  I'm getting comments about the prices too but I'm not moving to another resort because then they will find something wrong with that one. Sometimes you need to tune the comments out and just do whats right for you and your fiance.  You can compromise a little bit but if you change everything to accomdate people who probably wont' come no matter what then your wedding is no longer your wedding.  Good luck to you and you are right this is stressful but in the end it'll be great and you will be married.  :) 

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Originally Posted by EVKnowsitall View Post

 

This thread is awesomesauce. I wish I saw it BEFORE my wedding because it would have been a great source of comfort. I probably don't have anything new to add but I found myself shaking my head yes and reading a few of these things aloud to my spanking new husband. Here's what I learned:

 

* People are selfish- friends and family included- and they will complain REGARDLESS of what you do- so don't appease them. 

 

* PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN- with friends and family, vendors, wedding coordinators.

 

* Find your non-negotiables and spend your money there. We paid top dollar for our photog but our pictures will last a lifetime. We spent virtually nothing on decorations and you know what- no one missed them and no one cared.

 

* Let go and breathe- you will have a miserable time if you try to control everything. Accept that something will go wrong, and when it does, you'll realize its not a big deal. A few things went wrong- my mom fretted it and the day of- I said "mom, I don't care" and my day was amazing.

 

*Hire the videographer- my husband was against it and fought me and we have already seen our video 5 times since we got back (just a few days ago.) You'll want to see the moments you might have missed. 

 

* Communication is tough at times. Keep track of every correspondence. I made a separate email account exclusively for the wedding. 

 

* Don't waste time eating- DANCE the night away.

Thank you for the advice!!!!! This thread is sooo helpful! It has helped me realize not to worry so much about decorations. I was already stressing out about centerpieces but you are completely right, no one will care of even miss them. I mean we are in a beautiful place already! Do you have pictures or a video clip of your wedding?

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Originally Posted by syl1115 View Post

 

I have learned that DIY projects will be the death of me. I make something then the more I look at it, the more I don't like it so I start from scratch 2 months later. I feel like I have accomplished nothing. I started out with 1 dress and ended up with 3. I have "created" my bouquets and bouts 4 times now. I just finished revising my fans. I just want to stop the OBSESSION with DIY. I keep looking at everyone else's wonderful things then get another new idea.

 

I really didn't worry about people coming to the wedding. We are a little older than most of you on this forum, so trying to please family is so secondary. We decided it didn't matter as long as we were there together. This is just for us and if others want to join in the fun, so be it. We are not registered any where and do not expect any gifts. Although, I have spent a ton of money on my Oot bags, dinner reception, hotel rooms, cruise, and "bridesmaid" dresses. I just hope I can make it another 30 days.

Good to know I'm not the only one that started with one wedding dress and ended up with three (not to mention 2 veils cause I had the brilliant idea to tea dye my white veil after buying my third dress that was ivory . . . total mess!)

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I just got married in May in Cabo! I can honestly say I would have no been able to plan my wedding without this site! Being able to talk to past brides of the Riu Palace helped tremendously and helped put my mind at ease with all the of uncertainty of planning a destination wedding. What I learned about planning a DW:

 

  • Expect the unexpected from family and friends. The people who you think will support you the most might be the ones to give you the hardest time and put you through the ringer!
  • Everyone else will try to make your wedding about themselves and everyone will have an opinion. Just remember- It is YOUR wedding, not theirs.
  • Spend the extra money for a good photographer! At the end of the day, all you have are photos and I wanted to love them. We flew our photographer from Calgary to Mexico. Look into local photographers as some offer destination discounts! Here is a link to her blog on our wedding http://www.cassiescamera.com/2013/06/09/dayna-ray-just-married-calgary-destination-wedding-photographer/
  • In the beginning I had a hard time justifyng the cost of a videographer. After finding a great one Cabo I knew I would regret not having one. Our wedding video: 
     The cost of the photographer & videographer took up a majority of our budget and I wouldn't have changed anything- they were both worth every penny!
  • Don't stress, enjoy being engaged and planning your wedding!! 

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Originally Posted by 1Pris View Post

 

Thank you for the advice!!!!! This thread is sooo helpful! It has helped me realize not to worry so much about decorations. I was already stressing out about centerpieces but you are completely right, no one will care of even miss them. I mean we are in a beautiful place already! Do you have pictures or a video clip of your wedding?

What a great thread! I am at the beginning of helping my daughter plan her DW and we are already running into a lot of crap! I told her to forget it and do what she wants....Her dad and I will be there and so will his. Her best friend will be there and so will his...doesn't really matter who else shows up. It will be beautiful and we will have a great time no matter what!

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Originally Posted by RNtoBe View Post

 

I just got married in May in Cabo! I can honestly say I would have no been able to plan my wedding without this site! Being able to talk to past brides of the Riu Palace helped tremendously and helped put my mind at ease with all the of uncertainty of planning a destination wedding. What I learned about planning a DW:

 

  • Expect the unexpected from family and friends. The people who you think will support you the most might be the ones to give you the hardest time and put you through the ringer!
  • Everyone else will try to make your wedding about themselves and everyone will have an opinion. Just remember- It is YOUR wedding, not theirs.
  • Spend the extra money for a good photographer! At the end of the day, all you have are photos and I wanted to love them. We flew our photographer from Calgary to Mexico. Look into local photographers as some offer destination discounts! Here is a link to her blog on our wedding http://www.cassiescamera.com/2013/06/09/dayna-ray-just-married-calgary-destination-wedding-photographer/
  • In the beginning I had a hard time justifyng the cost of a videographer. After finding a great one Cabo I knew I would regret not having one. Our wedding video: 
     The cost of the photographer & videographer took up a majority of our budget and I wouldn't have changed anything- they were both worth every penny!
  • Don't stress, enjoy being engaged and planning your wedding!! 

 

I absolutely loved your wedding video. It was def. worth every penny! Congrats!

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