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little by little, no one is coming ... i give up!


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#31 TATrisha

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Posted 20 August 2008 - 10:54 PM

We all went through this. If it makes you feel any better, not only did my DH's sister NOT even give ANY effort into coming... but she has YET to even congratulate us. Yes, that's right. And when the topic gets brought up, she runs to another room. And she can't be upset at US since she too had a destination wedding. Really makes you feel loved. At least your FI loves you, more than you'll ever realize. And as long as you two are together and getting married, the waves will still crash in the background and the sand will still be between your toes. It'll be perfect.

~Trisha~

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#32 michelle08

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    Posted 21 August 2008 - 12:15 AM

    Sorry!! The most important thing I took away from my destination wedding was that you CAN NOT take anyone else into account when making your plans and I do not take that lightly!

    I had issues myself and it always came down to the ones that you cater to and bend over backward for and then they just decide one day no as if it affects no one else!

    I feel your pain and I am sorry you have to go through this!

    hang in there and you guys should still plan the weding you want...even if it's just the two of you.

    #33 cougs

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      Posted 21 August 2008 - 12:20 AM

      all i know is rachel, you rock, and you're right ... THEY are the ones missing out! like i said, your photos tell of a perfect wedding!

      now if i can just manage to move my wedding up by a couple days, harty has offered to be my replacement ringbearer, even if the trousers are a little snug! LMFAO!

      i swear you ladies rock! thanks for helping put everything in perspective. you're all invited! LOL

      we know our parents are definitely booked and coming. and we know tom's grandmother (the only grandparent we've got between us) is definitely coming, because we decided we were paying for her trip ... she can't say no!

      #34 JoLo908

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        Posted 21 August 2008 - 12:30 AM

        Yeah, I can sympathize... this sounds crazy... but I feel like someone is going to say a small comment like "oh, I think the trip will be better this way or that way" and I will breather fire!!! It is just frustrating... read the thread "things I learned planning a DW"... it will make you feel better!

        #35 Nitnylyin1

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          Posted 21 August 2008 - 06:04 AM

          Mummergrl I feel your pain too. One of the reasons I decided to have a destination wedding in the first place was because my fiance has a small family and group of friends and I didn't want "his side" to be outdone by my side" at a traditional wedding. Especially when most of those people on my side would be friends of the family, not necessarily relatives. To sum it up, it turns out that none of his family is coming at all, which I think is a bunch of crap. His great uncle, who is the closest thing he has to a father, says he can't afford it. However......he goes golfing almost every other day? If he really wanted to go he could give up the golf for a while. Also one of my oldest friends has been on the fence about going....I was in her wedding and have made attempts to get together with her all the time when I am back home to visit. SHe has come to visit me once.....and I have been living away from my hometown for the last 10 yrs. Sorry that's off the topic but it hurts me a little to think that's how much she thinks of me. I try not to let this bother me. In the end just like everyone else has pointed out, it's all about you and your soon to be husband, if it weren't for the 2 of you there wouldn't even be a wedding. So I say screw everyone else and do what you want...it's YOUR DAY!!!!

          #36 Island Princess

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            Posted 21 August 2008 - 06:57 AM

            This is definatley an issue all of us DW Brides & Grooms will without a doubt face.
            Half of my invited family members (Mainly Auntys and Uncles) have got the sh**ts with me and think it is pretty much selfish of us to get married in a place dear to our hearts and wanted us to get married at home in Australia, but the costs of a Sydney Wedding are through the roof. We would prefer a calm stress free wedding. And they are annoyed, because they wont be able to make it. Then I have the other half saying its a great idea and its OUR day not theres, but it really makes me upset!!
            But really I dont really care if they cant make it, it definatley wouldn't bother me. ARRGGGHHH sorry everyone had to vent some anger.

            #37 Hartyt509

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              Posted 21 August 2008 - 09:02 AM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by mummergirl
              now if i can just manage to move my wedding up by a couple days, harty has offered to be my replacement ringbearer, even if the trousers are a little snug! LMFAO!
              Now you see if you'd stuck to the 14th we could have combined our guests lmao Seriously you won't be by yourself i'm still there until the 25th so i'll keep you entertained for a couple of days lol Pity I can't extend to the 29th tho lol

              #38 kevsgirl

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                Posted 21 August 2008 - 05:55 PM

                [QUOTE=Nitnylyin1;511720]Mummergrl I feel your pain too. One of the reasons I decided to have a destination wedding in the first place was because my fiance has a small family and group of friends and I didn't want "his side" to be outdone by my side" at a traditional wedding. Especially when most of those people on my side would be friends of the family, not necessarily relatives. To sum it up, it turns out that none of his family is coming at all, which I think is a bunch of crap. [QUOTE]

                That's similar to us (well, the end-result is).
                We wanted a DW because
                1) wanted to get married asap and his brother's getting hitched in October, so Dec was earliest possible
                2) there was no way I would get married in winter in Canada

                From those two things, and becuase we are both more laid-back people and he'd had a big wedding before and neither of us are into those, we decided to go south.
                He has a huge family all nearby and I have hardly anyone and all far away. Well, guess who's booking? My family ... his family are being wankers. His parents are booked, his grandma just bakced out and his brother and gf are on the fence, listing every single excuse in the books.
                As to friends, no idea if any will come (well, one is booked with his wife and TWIN BOYS WHO ARE BOTH UNDER 2! take that to everyone using that as an excuse!) :)

                #39 Emily&Matt

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                  Posted 27 August 2008 - 09:11 AM

                  Yeah, I understand. Everytime we talk about it, there is a big zero interest. I don't know if it will happen for us either. We might just go there for a honeymoon. But I am going to refuse to get my feeling hurt and am still going to hold out some hope. The bottom line for almost everyone I have ever known is *their money is more important than anything or anyone else*. $$$ come first. I try to be realistic and realize that is the way it is. Period. It sure is an eye opener to see that people you thought loved you, love their money more. I'm not going to let myself get angry though, there's no point in it.

                  #40 SSNM

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                    Posted 10 August 2009 - 11:39 PM

                    This is an old post, I know but I am sure someone will happen upon it and appreciate all the advice everyone has given here so far. I will add my two cents, which pretty much echos everyone else's in that your wedding is for YOU AND YOUR FI so plan it to suit your needs and let everyone else follow suit.

                    That is exactly what I am doing. I picked a resort that FH and I will like first. Then I let others know where it is. If they don't like it -- don't come. Personally, I know money is a big issue for some people and I would not take offense to someone who says they can't/don't want to go to my wedding because it is inconvenient -- it's not like I planned my wedding around them anyway. Besides, if they don't come, it is one less plate to pay for, making it cheaper for me. It is a win-win situation.






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