Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
trisha0612

Need Advice....BADLY

Recommended Posts

Alright so I'm sure you girls are tired of me being in a constant state of crisis, but seriously, when it rains, it pours! THIS HAS BEEN ONE HELL OF A YEAR!

So let me start back in March so you girls truly understand what's going on here.....FI's father came to visit for 5 days and ended up staying 2 weeks which then overlapped my parents 3 week visit..all here in my TINY, NO STORAGE, 3 bedroom house...4 days later, my 38 yr. old brothers wife kicked him out..oh yes and he has 2 kids which he gets every other weekend, and they are 9 and 11, and one of them has ADHD...BAD. okay...so it's 3 weeks into this, oh yeah..and he lost his job......so....here we are....

FI and I are fighting constantly because there is no privacy in this house, and TOO many people...he has had like 2 interviews, and who knows if it's going anywhere..

he doesn't do anything with the kids when they are here...and i feel like its a daycare on the weekends...now here's the kicker...starting next monday the 26th...he has the kids for 2 weeks...I feel like it could cause a HUGE problem with not only FI and i, but my brother and I as well....

But he IS my brother and needs help..he didn't mess up, but just got dealt a shity hand....AHHHH what do I do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

oh dear, trisha. i know that you want to help your brother because he's family....but if it's causing too many problems and you and Travis can't live like that anymore, he really has to get out and go somewhere else with his kids. is there anywhere else he can go? have you talked to your brother about the issues happening in your house because he's there and the kids are driving you guys nuts?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've kind of tried...but there really isn't anywhere else he could go...it's just him and I out here from my family...and when I first moved out here he let me stay in house for like 8 months..but then again at the time, it was just him living there, in a big house....not anything like this....

I did try to talk about the whole 2 week thing, but he didn't seem too concerned....it's like..I'm the youngest of the family, why do I have to take care of everyone else??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow! I have no idea what to tell you. I understand 100% how you feel. I had a similar situation last year, but with a friend (not a sibling). It was really stressful, so I can imagine how you feel.

 

Sorry I'm not much help, you're sort of between a rock and a hard place. I'll keep thinking and let you know if I come up with anything.

 

HANG IN THERE!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow! You've got your hands full, you definitely need to sit down with him and ask him how the job hunting is going and what you can do to help him get on his feet quickly. You will also need to tell him about his kids and how you and your FI need time to yourselves. It's hard, but it's the only way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Trisha that really sucks. Sorry I don't have any really good advice for you. I would just explain to your brother that it's going to be really stressful having him and the kids there and he needs to have some sort of plan.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What does your Fi think? Is he mad about it or are you just worried it will be too much for him? Or is it too much for you? Maybe you guys can get away for the weekend. I know it's your house and you shouldn't have to leave to get peace but if he is staying and there is nowhere to go you have to work with what you got. I know I am not much help. SIGH sorry I know this is a lot of stress on top of wedding planning. Just hang in there and keep motivating your brother. He is probably super depressed and lost right now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh no trish, I can see why its pouring right now. Have you tried just sitting down with him and being completely honest with him and basically telling him what you just told us. I know he is your brother and you only want what is best for him but he also has to realize what it is doing to your relationship with your FI.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi trish,

 

wow, your plate is full right now...you are a great sister but if this is causing an issue with you and travis you may need to set some boundaries with your brother...maybe the nights he has the kids, can he get a hotel room or go on a trip.

 

why would his wife kick him out and make him couch surf at your house and make the kids spend the night knowing you do not have the space?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • we ended up using Facebook messenger when we were in Mexico - the hotel had free wifi and at least 1 person from each family/couple had FB on their phone already - it was pretty easy to communicate among guests "hey, we're heading to the beach bbq for lunch." or "everyone is hanging at the small pool today".  a plus was that some people tried to get a hold of me via FB on the day of the wedding and I was totally not checking my phone - they were asking if the wedding was outside given the rain forecast, thankful my mom, MOH and a few other friends were on the group and could respond for me :) 
    • Are you looking for a guide where you’ll find many tips and steps to follow to make your wedding a success? We design a special for you, where you will find: Photography Tips To-Do List Check list How to choose the best dress? Memories and invitations And much more! Download it now for free from: http://emweddings.com/WeddingGuide/index.html     Don’t stress. Enjoy every moment, tomorrow will be your best memories. See you soon!
    • Another option is to find an app that allows for group talk. This Wedding Party App looks pretty neat. https://apracticalwedding.com/wedding-party-app/ 
    • Hi Everyone, So, I was cleaning out my closet and realized that I never sold off my extra wedding OOT bag stuff from our wonderful DW.   46 Daily Spanish for Dummies 30 Pool colored OOT fabric bags - approximately 13in x 13in. They lay flat.  I used them for our wedding and they were perfect for everything we needed to fit in each bag. There’s a slight shade variation in the group; I’m guessing some were cut from a different bolt of fabric.  They are also a little wrinkled from storage and will probably be wrinkled from shipping. I have three additional ones, but they somehow got something on them (likely toddler related). If needed, I can try to wash it out and send those as well. 
    • I’m getting married in six months to my foreign girlfriend. I was advised by a friend that one of the things I need to do before saying I do is to get a prenuptial agreement. Basically it’s supposed to protect my assets and properties in case my relationship with my future wife goes down the drain. I don’t know though if this is an acceptable practice when marrying Kiev ladies. I don’t want to do it if it would be insulting on her end. I need advice on this. Please help me.
  • Topics

×