Im sorry you have had all of this drama. To me it sounds like they are just worried about you and dont understand the whole picture. I can completely understand feeling ambushed, I would feel the exact same. But as an outside Im sure they are just tyrin to help and dont understand the importance of your FI and him and you working together to accomplish his dream. Afterall IMO I think that is what marriage is all about, working together even when the tough gets tougher. Hopefully they will come to realize this was a mutual decision and you are happy, and not over worked. Im sure they are just looking out for you.